|
Post by justinsmomma on Aug 5, 2005 20:24:10 GMT -5
Hi Andee,
To answer your question about a personal revelation, well, I went through a really rough time after my 2nd loss. After both m/c I waited a whole year to try again. It was a grieving process for me and I wasn't ready or strong enough to try for a whole year following each loss. When I was 5 weeks with my Justin (my first) I started with slight spotting and low progesterone. The Dr.'s weren't optimistic but that night I prayed so hard and for so long I literally prayed myself to sleep asking for a miracle. That pregnancy was so easy after that. I also received a blessing around that time that really helped me mentally and spiritually to get by. When I was 36 weeks pregnant my Dad passed away. Again another horrible event. But my Dad received a blessing shortly before his death that said he would be holding his Grandson and keeping him safe before his birth, so I took that to be a revelation and felt His power and love with that. The last one was the most difficult. When I m/c a 2nd time I went through a dark dark time. I drank and smoked and did all the things I knew I shouldn't. I was mad at God and really behaved like a spoiled brat for quite a while. Then, upon the 1 year anniversary of my loss, I went to a pregnancy loss seminar at a local church and heard a woman speak about her losses and how it brought her closer to God. That we can't question "why"...sometimes things aren't for us to understand in this lifetime, etc. etc. and I really took notice. It was time for me to have a one on one with God and apologize for my horrible behavior. I cried and cried for the first time in a long time and asked for forgiveness and peace. All I wanted was peace. Soon after that I started trying again. I didn't get pregnant for two months. I had physical signs of pregnancy but no positive test. So I got the feeling that something was wrong, that something was impeding my path to having another baby. So I decided to pray once more for direction. It was then that I received the prompting to see a reproductive endocrinologist. I knew this was going to be my last chance, so I made the call and got the referral. Once I went through all the pregnancy loss testing and was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder, I realized that this was going to be a biggie. I was told I need to be on blood thinners my entire pregnancy, a risk in and of itself. I had to consider if the risk was worth the benefit. I prayed the hardest on this one, after all I have a 3 year old little boy to consider. All along, during my saddest moments, and up until I got pregnant with this baby, I knew there were two that were meant for me. I couldn't get past the idea of having just one. So I decided to go ahead and try, just one more time, and leave it all up to God. Well here I am at 28 weeks. ;0) I am literally being carried through this pregnancy. I have had lots of scary moments, too many to mention, but I received a blessing this pregnancy and the Elder was prompted to tell me that I would carry this baby to term and deliver a healthy child. Those words carry me through each and every day. So to answer your question, I do not believe I am filling a hole in my heart at all by having this baby. I feel blessed for every day and amazed at the way that everything has turned out, and that I was given life's greatest gift once again, a gift that was meant for my family. It's all about faith. All of my hardships and grief got me to where I am right now ;0)
Anyway I am always on here but you can always email me at buddhasmommy2001@yahoo.com. I love to offer support and friendship. ;0)
HUGS
Kris
|
|
|
Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 5, 2005 22:30:01 GMT -5
Hello Andee & Kris, I just wanted to add here that I too went through a really difficult time coming to "terms" with my loss. I also started smoking again (had quit for 3 years) and drinking again (had quit for 5 years). Each day I felt a little more lost than the day before. I wanted so badly to be alright and I just couldn't get there. I was more depressed in the beginning than I am now but I waited my 2 cycles and started TTC again. I didn't get lucky and it's coming up on a year since my BO and I still haven't conceived. However, thats a separate issue. I have found that the farther away I get from losing my pregnancy that more it seems to be with me. 3 weeks before I found out about my BO, I lost a dear friend in a car accident. I sometimes worry that the stress of that caused my BO somehow. I know that this isn't the case. I know that we can't blame ourselves for these things but I can't help but wondering where I went wrong that time. I have 2 beautiful little boys and I would love to have a girl.....and have often wondered what the sex of the baby I lost was. I've read here that that bothers people not knowing and it bothers me too. I've had people say horrible things to me about my pregnancy. A sales woman in a jewelry store I frequent knew I was pregnant and since it was my 3rd pregnancy and I blow up anyhow, I was already in maternity clothes. When I went back after my loss she ask me what had happend and I explained it to her as well as I could. She actually said to me that God must of known I wanted a girl and that it was probably a boy so he took it back!!! I had never told her that it made any difference to me whether or not it was a boy or girl and I can't imagine what would prompt someone to say such a thing. I felt so bad when I left there. I knew that God wouldn't have taken a boy from me because I would like to have a girl. I think anyone here would agree that it doesn't matter as long as you get a beautiful baby in the end. I also have my dad who is constantly referring to my "fake pregnancy" which to me belittles every emotion that I've ever had about it. I do not spend a lot of time in church but I do pray to God everynight and always have. I pray for peace and I pray that family and friends that have left this earth already are taking care of my sweet baby. Sometimes I can't even hardly believe that this happened to me. You'd think after a year of struggling with it.......I wouldn't seem so surprised anymore. I think the fact that I've recently gone back to my doctor for medication to start AF and O has made me even more aware of what I could be getting back into. For me the fear is almost paralyzing. I want so badly to try again but I just can't imagine a repeat of what happened to me before. I read the posts here from the ladies that have dealt with this multiple times and I look for strength in that. I know that i'm sort of rambling on here from one thing to the next. I just thought maybe if I got it on a post.....I wouldn't feel like I was keeping it all inside. I also wanted to ask a question because I spent a year prior to my BO losing weight so that I'd be in better shape for that pregnancy. I lost 96 lbs and now I'm hearing that that could have messed up my hormones and hence caused an issue with the pregnancy. Has anyone else ever heard this or have any information on it? I will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Stay Strong Ladies!!!! If any of you are like me.....we all pull strength from each other! (((((HUGSSSS)))))
|
|
|
Post by justinsmomma on Aug 6, 2005 6:28:59 GMT -5
Heather,
I know what you mean about needing to get it out. I think part of what took so long for me to get through the grieving process was that I felt so all alone. I did make some friends along the way out in cyber space that helped a lot (one special friend had two b/o's like me, with a healthy baby in between, like me...) and we emailed each other many times. We even met once. But then she went and got pregnant again and as much as I wanted to be happy for her, I sort of disconnected myself somewhat. I did that to people IRL too after my 2nd loss in particular. My SIL and two of my best friends were pregnant during that time and although I feel bad that I wasn't "there" for them, I did what I had to do. In a lot of ways I grieved for my father during that time after my 2nd loss. I never really had adequate time to grieve him. Let's put it this way, first I had Sept 11, 2001 (we had friends who survived the WTC attacks) then my Dad died Oct. 23, 2001, then Justin my sweet boy was born Nov 15, 2001. Needless to say I went through a lot postpartum LOL but most of my life was filled with the wonder and joy of being a new Mommy. When I lost the 2nd one I felt robbed. A lot of my grief was focused around the fact that my son lost a brother or sister. That was the part I could not let go of. Oh and I had a chromosomal study after the 2nd loss and it showed nothing wrong. I just didn't 'get' it. The first loss had some concrete answers, it was most likely my undiagnosed thyroid problem, and low progesterone, and it was an early loss. I bought that. Plus I had my son in between. I didn't think there would be any more problems after having a healthy pregnancy and little boy. Then my 2nd loss happened at almost 12 weeks in. This is what I refer to my dark point. I kept thinking, was it those few cigarettes I had when we sold our house? I had so many what ifs. So once I got to the healing place where I was ready to try again with God's help, and I didn't get pregnant right away...I went for assistance within 2 cycles of trying. I felt very strongly that God was telling me something, and I knew mentally I just couldn't go through another loss. It was then that I was diagnosed with my blood clotting genetic mutation and treated with a regimen that worked on the first try. ;-) About people saying rude things, well I have literally thought about writing a book on that. One 1/2 the book would be what NOT to say to women after m/c, the other one would be what NOT to say to women during pregnancy LOL. The kindest words I heard were from believers. I never heard any comments other than "you will be in my prayers", or "Stay close to God", and you know they meant it. The most meaningful was from my immediate circle of family and friends, who reminded me that I will see my precious children again. When I said in the post above that I felt strongly about two. Well I should correct that statement. I have been blessed with two, in this life, and two in the next so I guess 4 is the number. I always wanted 4. ;0) I don't know what the sex of my babies was but I just imagine that they are girls and have named them, Kallista Joy and Alexandra Rose. I know they are waiting for me, with my Dad, brother, sister and two dogs, as well as their great grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, special friends, etc. and especially Jesus. When I get down I just remind myself, who better to watch over my children than Jesus Christ himself? Plus my Dad is there and that gives me a lot of comfort too. Oh boy now I am crying again. I have been crying alot lately. But I am so grateful for what I have, and have learned to grieve in a manner that is healthy and works for me. I can never have another cigarette due to my blood clotting condition, and the liquor is secondary now to my life. I really gave my Justin the shaft during the time of grief after my loss, and that is something I have to live with. But I make up for it now and love on him like there is no tomorrow. ;0)
About the weight loss, I really don't know if that could "mess" with your hormones, but certainly having enough body fat could. But congrats on the weight loss! That is awesome! Anyway God bless you and I want you to know that we have a pregnancy after b-o/TTC forum as well. Feel free to drop in! Thank you for sharing your story. It does give me strength to know that other people understand.
HUGS
Kris
|
|
|
Post by kurby68 on Aug 6, 2005 10:43:35 GMT -5
Heather
I am sorry for the loss that you have endured. I do know that hormones can be affected by your weight. Generally in an adverse way when you are overweight and the only time I think losing weight is adverse is when you lose too much and are too thin and then generally af will quit. So I do not think that you need to worry about that.
Mt friend had to lose weight in order to start ttc because the added weight messed up her cycles. She was getting af maybe 2 - 3 times a year. After losing the weight she ended up getting regular and then when ttc it took her 2 cycles. So weight loss tens to be a good thing hormonally.
Take care
|
|
|
Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 6, 2005 10:50:09 GMT -5
Kris, I wanted to add that I understand how hard it is to deal with other people being pregnant when your trying to get through losing a pregnancy. I had my BO in August and by September both of my younger sisters were pregnant. They told us within 2 days of each other. I was happy for the older of my 2 younger sisters. She had just gotten home from Iraq after serving a year and really wanted to have a baby. I was so not happy about my youngest sister. She is not in a position to be having children.....(however this is just my opinion) and she's far from responsible enough. Her first child had just turned 1 and she couldn't even care for him properly and then here she was pregnant again. She drank her whole pregnancy. She thinks she's hid it from us.....but she didn't manage that so well. I went through a really dark period trying to figure out why I would lose a baby that I had tried so hard to make everything right for.....and she got to carry a baby that in my opinion she did not deserve. I read where you said you felt "robbed" when you lost the second one and I completely understand that. I felt betrayed by my own body and by my own mind and even though I never had any spotting or cramping and continued to get bigger until I was 10 weeks (I did notice I never really changed from that point).......I really didn't feel I had any worrisome symptoms. I was "awakened suddenly" one day from a dream I was having.....it was a dream that the baby inside of me was struggling with seizures of some sort. I don't really remember the details but I remember it really freaked me out and I called my mom and told her about it and she said it was just those "pregnancy worries." I wonder now though if it wasn't my body trying to tell me that something wasn't right. I also had a cousin that lost a pregnancy the day before I found out mine was a BO....we had tried to get pregnant together and our due dates were 2 days apart. It was unbelieveable when we lost our babies together. I'm not sure it really brought us closer together though. I think we both dealt with it differently......her saying that she'd never get pregnant again and me TTC again as soon as I could. Funny thing is she's 16 weeks into her next pregnancy now and she didn't tell me until about 3 weeks ago. (She was afraid of losing it again and wasn't telling anyone.) I am happy for her.....but part of me has to ask again.....why is she pregnant now when she never wanted to be pregnant again? Then I get mad at myself for not being "unconditionally" happy for her. I also wanted to say that the one person in my life that seemed to notice my pain more than anyone was my 5 yr old son......then 4 yrs old. I tried very hard to make it seem like I was alright and pretty much everyone believed that and one night I walked into my DS's room to tuck him in and tell him goodnight and out of the blue he says to me..."mommy I'm sorry that the baby in your tummy died. I know that makes you really sad and I want to give you a hug!" I couldn't get out of there fast enough......because it really hit me when he said that and I knew I was going to cry. He said other things over the next couple of months and I think about the innocence of youth and how they just call them like they see them......and for me....he was my biggest support! I don't know if he would know that.....but I cherish the things he said to me then more than I cherish things that anyone else said to me. I feel like my BO made me love the children that I had already even more. I didn't think it was possible but when that happened I realized how truely blessed I was that I already had 2 beautiful DS's. I also have a question about the Thryroid/Progestrone issue that you mentioned above because my thyroid function test with my BO wasn't normal and I was scheduled to test for it again but had BO first and never did. When I went in recently because of lack of AF they tested me for it again but said it was fine now. Is this something that only occurs with pregnancy or would it always be an issue? I know this is something I could/should post in TTC but thought I'd ask you since you mentioned it. I am suppose to have a Progestrone test on my 21st day of cycle after I start my Provera and Serophene. I just haven't started them yet because I've felt unsure about getting pregnant again and just going along on the idea that it was a "mishap" that probably won't occur again. Weird thing is I haven't had AF since March and I got these prescriptions in July and now I feel like I might be starting on my own. Do you know if I can start the Serophene still and test on the 21st day or if because I start on my own.....I just leave it alone now? I also wanted to say that when I started drinking and smoking again.....I was rather "controlled" in the drinking part of it. As much as you can be controlled when your drinking. I had issues with drinking before I got pregnant with my first son and I know how I can get and how out of control I can become. So I kept my drinking to beer.....no hard alcohol allowed for me!!!! Past experience has taught me better.......and I only did it on the weekend when my husband was available for the boys. Thats not to say that I don't have guilt but at least I feel like I did that best I could do at the time. So thats all I wanted to say about that! I had stopped TTC after my periods quit and now that I'm getting ready again......smoking is the remaining issue that I have left to deal with. I did smoke through my 1st pregnancy and the guilt from that has never left me and probably never will. So I don't do that during pregnancy anymore. The problem that I have with smoking is that I love it as much as I hate it! However I think thats another story as well. Thanks for listening to me. I appreciate all the time that people put into posting here. It's so great to finally feel like I'm united with people because of this and not just the girl that had a BO that no one has ever heard of! I'm thinking and praying for us all!
HUGS!!!
|
|
|
Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 6, 2005 11:05:11 GMT -5
Kallie, Thanks for your info on the weight loss! I should clarify that I had a lot of weight to lose and that just because I lost 96lbs I was in no way "skinny" or underweight. I actually still had a good many more lbs left to lose. I was following a Weight lose program so I'm not just saying that. Ha Ha! However, My AF was fine until after the BO and since then it has been pretty much none existent. I sort of think that has a lot to do with smoking and coming off the weight lose program though. Anyhow, thanks so much for your post. I've been worried that in trying to do something the right way.....I might have messed it up and made it worse. HUGS!
|
|
|
Post by kurby68 on Aug 6, 2005 16:31:40 GMT -5
Heather
You are correct how hard it is to deal w/ others that are pg esp. when you feel that maybe they should not even be pg to begin w/. My very good friend Cheryl's son was expecting his 1st. He had just found out and only had a part time job. His g/f was onlt part time too and they were living w/ friends in another state and didn't have any $$ for a baby. They both are far from ideal parent types and are very young. She was 18 & he was 19. The story was really ugly and they did end up moving up here. There dd was born about 1 wk from my edd w/ the bo. They come over here, I have been at their apt, but to this day I have not held that baby. Today was hard because I found out that they are due again and due in February again. So their babies will be a yr apart. Now He has a job but she doesn't and they spend their money foolishly when the baby should be the 1st concern...
Any ways it is hard when every one else is pg or have newborns and you are sitting there and have nothing. I most days deal w/ this fine but today really bothered me.
As far as progesterone... They will give you progeserone to bring on af. They will ck progesterone to see if you are o'ing. They check at 21 days and if you o late or early that can affect the outcome of the test. The best time to ck is 7 dpo but unless you are temping and can mark your o day... It is a bit of a crazy circle.
Unless af comes I'd take the progesterone soon.
Good luck Take care
|
|
|
Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 6, 2005 18:36:41 GMT -5
Kallie, Thank you for your thoughts on the Progestrone. I haven't taken it yet and now for 2 days I have noticed a slight bloody discharge during urination. (Please excuse the graphics....not sure how else to explain.) Anyhow, I've never done this with AF before but I thought maybe since it had been so long that my body was attempting to AF on it's own. That is why I am still procrastinating with taking the Progestrone at this point. In a couple of days when I have a better idea about what is going on......then I'll probably start taking it. I did have the prescriptions filled today. So thats a plus since I've had it for 3 weeks already! As for people having babies that shouldn't be......I totally can relate with how that makes you feel. I couldn't imagine a worse couple to parent children as my DS and her DH. They are just too irresponsible and they don't even have jobs most of the time....not to mention that her DH has 2 children from a previous marriage that he's going to court over soon because he doesn't even pay his child support for them. The whole situation makes me sick. I'm sorry that you weren't dealing with it well today. I have those days and I totally understand. Its just too painful sometimes. Hang in there! (((((HUGS)))))
|
|
|
Post by andee on Aug 6, 2005 19:12:44 GMT -5
I wonder sometimes if I should be tested for a genetic problem.My cousin had a m/c and my other cousin lost her baby girl early, and you already know I m/c in 2001.I really do wonder if it is a hereditary thing in my situation.My Grandma had a m/c and had a boy who died the next day due to delivery problems.My Grandma's sister had 2 m/c.I hope noone is offended by me saying that.Kris I know you don't need to hear that sorry! I lost my baby May 11,2001,My Paternal Grandma July 2003,My Dad May 2005,and My favorite person in my family my Maternal Grandma has been diagnosed with terminal cancer.They gave her 6 months to live.I prayed to God please with all this death let me have life again.I say over and over how thankful I am for the kids I have but please may I have another! Again I repeat I am not trying to fill a hole in my heart.I just want a large family.I just miss the whole wonderful experience.I have beent ested for my thyroid and it came out fine.Last month I really thought I was pregnant.I had all the symptoms.I ended up not being.I feel like such a failure when it doesn't work.It never has taken me this long.My Sister in Law new I have been trying to have a baby since last June.She told me she was pregnant last month.I was happy for her.Then it felt like she was rubbing it in.I still am happy for her, but I am finding it hard to talk with her.I want to have another baby so bad.It kills me when you hear on the news people throwing their babies in the garbage or abondoning them.I pray to God and say I am here! I would have loved and taken care of that child.Please help me understand thy will God.My kids are now hoping I have a baby.I hope it works this month.To those who recently lost a pregnancy I am so sorry.A friend of mine I was just told lost hers in June.Kris I gota blessing after my m/c.The guy who gave me the blessing turned out to be a real unworthy person we later found out.However he told me that my m/c was known to me in the preexistance, and that I should excercise more faith.I have plenty of faith.That hurt me so bad.Even my Grandma who had a m/c told me the same thing I need more faith.Well, I certainly have faith now.I have asked several people,missionaries,churchleaders,Bishops Will I be reunited with my child one day.They all say yes.
|
|
|
Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 6, 2005 20:11:30 GMT -5
Andee, I am sorry to hear that you've had so much pain in your life. I hope that you hang on to your faith and let it guide you through these painful times. It sounds like you've had a lot to deal with in the last few years. I understand losing people you love. It seems to happen to me a lot too. I currently have a friend whose 32 that is battling a very rare form of cancer. It's so rare that they don't even know how to treat it but have told him that they can't cure him.......only work towards giving him some extra time. My granny (who died of pancreatic cancer) always told us to look for the good in everything.......that even in something horrible you can find something good. I have to tell you this is quite a chore and although I don't believe that I've found good in every situation or if I did that the good outweighed the bad... at least I'm looking! :0) All we can do is deal with the things that come our way the best that we can. I will be praying for you! ((((HUGS))))
|
|
|
Post by justinsmomma on Aug 7, 2005 6:32:26 GMT -5
Andee,
Forgive me for singling this out, but I have to. When you received your blessing after your m/c, I cannot even begin to fathom that this person said those horrible things. Please don't be troubled by that!!!!!!!!! You said yourself he was unworthy. I am so sorry that his words hurt you so!!! Even if we "knew" all of the things that were going to happen to us in this life in the spirit world, is that supposed to make us feel better NOW? Oh jeez I would've probably opened up my eyes and punched him ROFL. My sister and her husband are 100% immersed in the church. He was a bishop for 5 years and probably holds a higher position than that now. Anyway they fell onto hard times and had to sell their dream home and move to Utah (from NJ, where we are), where he has family. My sister was VERY depressed. I found myself in the unusual position of having to counsel HER on matters of the spirit ROFL and kept telling her over and over that if she prayed and if she had faith everything would work out. That Jesus was carrying her like in the Footprints poem. This is something that I truly truly believe to be true, that the Lord carries us when we are too weak or too sad to carry ourselves. Well about 2 mos. after her move, her DH got a great job (he was unemployed for 6 mos) she found a great job, her daughter moved in from the Y and she is happy (she was struggling with depression), and her son and his wife are expecting their first baby. Now she can be out there to greet her first grandchild! All of this happened due to prayer I am convinced. My Mom sure prays for all of us and goes to the temple on a regular basis and so does my other sister, so I know my family is in good hands, no matter what happens. Sometimes you have to ask for peace and for God's will to be done and strength to deal with however it rolls out. Not for anything specific. I have found this to be most effective and healing when I really can't see my way clear of being rational about something, or open to what the spirit is prompting. I want you all to know that hearing your stories and knowing of your struggles is so hard for me, because I have been there so often. I pray for all of the women here every day and I want to add one thing. I have been in and out of therapy and on antidepressants off and on for about 10 years. I do have depression, anxiety and ADD. What I am saying is that sometimes it helps to speak to a professional. It truly helped me when my Dad died that I was already in therapy. There is no shame in it. Also, be proactive about your medical care. If you have ANY suspicion that you aren't being treated correctly by your Dr.'s, or that there may be more to the story, insist on going to a specialist. It gave me such peace of mind to know that I went into this pregnancy with all of my ducks in a row and the best medical care possible. Heather I just want to add that I was given progesterone while TTC. It may have been what saved my baby in early pregnancy. The progesterone test is so important, please at least have that.
Big big HUGS guys God is with you I promise. Just listen to your inner voice!! Andee if you are feeling like you need further testing, do it. Even if you find that you and your spouse are perfectly healthy it will give you a lot of peace in your attempts to try for that next healthy baby! Stay strong!
HUGS
Kris
|
|
|
Post by andee on Aug 7, 2005 10:59:09 GMT -5
Thanks Kris, I also had anxiety and went on Zoloft for two months.I was told it was situational.I have a crazy Mother In Law who has caused nothing but chaos on me and my DH since the get go.We used to live in Florida.We moved to Utah to get as far away as possible from her.It has been so nice since!!!!! I tried to write you but it came back? Everything I have told you is true.I don't make up these things.My life, as have many of yours have been one giant roller coaster ride.I was just checked last year for my thyroid.It was fine.I'm using a fertility monitor so hopefully soon.It worked for the last 2 kids.
|
|
|
Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 7, 2005 12:12:53 GMT -5
Kris, I ask my doctor if I should TTC before the progestrone test and she told me it was fine to TTC before having the test! This is one of the things that I've been worried about all along and I appreciate your help in understanding that it is something that I should do first......not after the fact! I'm comfortable with my doctor but I am starting to feel that they don't really care what happens to us sometimes. Maybe I should look into seeing someone else. I would also like to add that I appreciated all the things that you said to Andee. I think it's important for us to remember that God is with us at all times.....even if we can't see how! Also Andee I just wanted to say that I don't think anyone here thinks your making anything up! I think most people here have had a rollercoaster ride of things coming their way! I understand why you would say that though. Sometimes when I think of all the things that have happened in my life.......it seems so unbelieveable! Hang in there! I'll be thinking and praying for all of us! ((((HUGS)))))
|
|
|
Post by justinsmomma on Aug 7, 2005 14:12:26 GMT -5
Andee,
Sometimes I feel like people think I am making up the stuff that has happened to me too. I mean, to lose a brother (prior to my birth) a sister, her DH and his best friend in a car accident, then my Dad, plus the m/c's and other stuff LOL. It doesn't seem possible to happen to one family in 35 years. There is more believe it or not too!! My Mom is a breast cancer survivor for starters. All I know is that I have to dwell on the positives and not get sucked into the negatives or I wouldn't get through a day. Where do you live in Utah? My sister lives in Orem and her son lives in Provo. I am planning a visit next summer, maybe by then we will know each other better and we can get together. My sister is buried in Salt Lake City, I need to get up there too. I don't know why that email address didn't work but you can try kitten1836@aol.com if you want to talk privately.
Heather I would ask about taking progesterone while TTC. I never had a "progesterone" test...my Dr.'s acted on the fact that I had low progesterone in two of my pregnancies. Get the answers you are comfortable with, and then go for it. ;0)
I wil continue to pray for everyone here, I know the TTC and early pregnancy road is long and scary as heck. Big HUGS!
Kris
|
|
|
Post by vernkatherine on Aug 7, 2005 20:24:32 GMT -5
Hi Ladies! I would like to know more about the progesterone test as well. I asked my dr to have the FSH test - is that the same thing? I did get the test and it came back fine. I don't remember the specifics, but I think I was actually asking her for the progesterone test and I got the FSH test. Let me explain a few things - my husband is military so I go to military doctors. I do work, and did get my own health insurance so we had the choice between military and private. To date, I have not gone private. However, depending on what happens with TTC I may just do that. I'm on a strict time line - DH leaves for 6 months in September.....I just had ovulation and if it didn't work this time, I have one ovulation left before he leaves. I emailed the dr last week, but she hasn't responded as of today. Quite honestly, she probably thinks I'm crazy. Before finding this site I found some other sites and had some questions. She tells me I'm fine and DH is fine and to just "try again." She said because I get my a/f every month, timely, that's another indication I didn't need the FSH test. But she did it - more to appease me I'm sure. But I emailed her about some other tests I read about on this site - so I'm hoping to hear back from her. I have to tell you ladies - since finding this site, I have told so many of my friends/family about it. They have all been extremely supportive - no doubt about that - but you ladies are right when you say it's nice to chat with others who know what a BO is. I feel like there may be some hope since finding this site. Before finding it, I thought - 2 BOs - I'm never going to have a baby - why keep trying? Why go through the disappointment and pain? After the 2nd one, my DH said "I wouldn't blame you if you didn't try again" - of course, that just gave me the umph to try again - but I still worry about it. I know I talk about it all the time too. Other than DH, no other family was around because we were stationed in Italy. Actually, I didn't tell anyone other than DH the 2nd time we were pregnant because of the first BO. So after the 2nd BO I told my family. I knew they would wonder why the delay in trying again - not that any of them would ever ask but......Okay - I'm rambling - sorry - thanks for "listening" (aka reading) - it's just nice to know there are others who understand! I'm thinking & praying for everyone!
Katherine
|
|
|
Post by justinsmomma on Aug 8, 2005 4:47:30 GMT -5
OK I never had my progesterone tested while TTC but I did find a little out:
Low progesterone can be detected by a blood test after ovulation or by charting fertility. Another sign of low progesterone is a shortened luteal phase that lasts less than 10 days.
There are several things you can do to boost the progesterone level. One is to go to the doctor and get a prescription for progesterone or a fertility drug like Clomid. However, natural progesterone creams are also available that may help in preparing the uterine wall for implantation of the fertilized egg and sustain the endometrium. Women with a history of miscarriage can use natural progesterone cream as soon as they know they have ovulated, to supplement their own progesterone. However, natural progesterone creams should not be used until ovulation takes place. Consult your physician for more information on the benefits of progesterone and uses/applications.
Progesterone Test - After ovulation occurs, the ovaries produce progesterone that prepares the lining of the uterus to nourish a fertilized egg. To determine if ovulation has occurred, progesterone levels can be measured through a blood test performed 5-10 days before a woman's period. Low progesterone can be a cause for infertility.
These are just a few things I found. BTW my infertility Dr. put me on vaginal progesterone based upon my history of low progesterone starting 4 days after my ovulation predictor test came up positive. I do have a friend who used the natural prog. cream with success after a m/c (without Dr.'s consent) however I believe its best to run these things by your Dr.
Big HUGS good luck all! Katherine, extra HUGS to you. It is hard to believe you will have a healthy baby after two b/o's but I do know two people that have. ;0)
Kris
|
|
|
Post by kurby68 on Aug 8, 2005 6:46:24 GMT -5
As an added info on progesterone. It is best to test progesterone 7 days past ovulation. Unless you are charting and know when that is it makes it difficult that is why they tend to do it on cd 21 because it is assumed that you had o at cd 14.
Take care
|
|
|
Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 8, 2005 6:56:17 GMT -5
Andee, In my case I was prescribed Progesterone (Provera) because AF hasn't started since March. Then I'm suppose to take Serophene to start O. On the 21st day of my cycle I'm suppose to be tested to see if i O'd......which has something to do with checking my progesterone levels. I know that in some cases here people have had low progesterone and needed to take it for a certain amount of time into the pregnancy! Sorry this isn't very informative.......as I am just learning about progestrone myself Andee. Hope this helps some. Talk to you later! ((((HUGS))))
|
|
|
Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 8, 2005 7:30:07 GMT -5
Katherine, I looked up the FSH and this is what I found out about it. "FSH tests are designed for women in cases where elevated levels of FSH may be associated with infertility and/or the onset of menopause. Women experiencing infertility, recently missed periods, ovulatory irregularity, or hot flashes can use FSH tests to discover if these symptoms are the result of elevated FSH levels. A follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) test may be done to help find the cause for a couple's inability to become pregnant (infertility). FSH tests are commonly used to evaluate a woman's egg supply (ovarian reserve) if she is infertile and assist in evaluating menstrual problems, irregular or absent menstrual periods." It sounds similar to what i'm being tested for on the 21st day of my cycle but when I was checking the paper I was given to take to the lab.......it says 21 day Progesterone. The box for the FHS test wasn't actually checked. So I don't know if they are different or the same. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.
Heather
|
|
|
Post by vernkatherine on Aug 8, 2005 7:52:38 GMT -5
Thanks Ladies! Wow - such a wealth of information. I recall having the blood test (FSH) so many days (I think 3 or 5 - can't remember exactly) after my period started. The Dr. said the test came back fine. Thanks again for the info and support & have a great day!
Katherine
|
|
|
Post by andee on Aug 23, 2005 9:52:49 GMT -5
I found out yesterday that my sister in law was 8 weeks but the doc said she felt only 6 weeks.She has been complaining of spotting.The doc told her her cervix was completely closed.They couldn't find a heart beat however.Is there any chance of this baby making it.It sounds like she has symptoms of a blighted ovum.I don't want to tell her this but I also don't want to give her false hope.I'm worried about her.She told me from the beginning that she didn't feel pregnant.The test said positive though.With my blighted ovum.I felt pregnant and then the symptoms of breast tenderness stopped,etc.I was wondering from the start if she was going to have a blighted ovum.I am so nervous for her.She says she's okay no matter what.I think she is in denial,but everyone deals with their greif differently.
|
|
|
Post by andee on Aug 23, 2005 10:35:22 GMT -5
nevermind, she told me today her levels are going back down.We already know its going to happen.Thanks though.
|
|
|
Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 23, 2005 11:09:33 GMT -5
Andee, We all deal differently with loss so she may or may not be "okay" no matter what. My sister had a mc once and she acts like it was no biggie!!!! Some people just connect differently than others I suppose. Anyhow I'm sorry to have read that this happened to your SIL!
How have things been with you?
Take Care!
|
|
|
Post by andee on Aug 23, 2005 13:11:16 GMT -5
I am not doing okay.I am real upset about my sis in law's loss.I lost a neice in the process.She felt it was a girl.My cycle was so weird this month.I've been spotting.Thats not normal.I guess its stress.My monitor said I never had a peak day last cycle.I don't know whats wrong with my body.I'm so tired of the emotional roller coaster.My Dad died in May,my Grandma was diagnosed with terminal cancer in june they gaev her 6 months.Now I just lost a neice. I honestly can't handle much more.I'm worried about my 5 year old and his health.I am trying to keep it together mentally,but its getting harder.
|
|
|
Post by andee on Aug 23, 2005 13:17:51 GMT -5
does it sound like i have low progesterone?or just stress?
|
|
|
Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 23, 2005 15:31:16 GMT -5
Andee, I couldn't tell you about the low progestrone. I'm still waiting to have mine tested this cycle. I am sure that whether you have low progestrone or not that you do have a lot of stress and emotional situations that are happening in your life right now. I understand all too well having a lot of bad things happening in your life all at once. It is a very difficult time for you and I'm sorry for your losses and sadness as well. Remember that we are here for you if you need us. Please try to hang in there! I'll be thinking and praying for you and your loved ones!
Take Care!
|
|
|
Post by andee on Aug 23, 2005 23:21:38 GMT -5
thanks
|
|
|
Post by justinsmomma on Aug 24, 2005 5:00:30 GMT -5
Hi Andee,
I am so sorry about your SIL. That is truly sad, and only compounds your emotions and feelings I am sure. Big ((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))!! I spotted during the cycle I TTC prior to going to the infertility Dr. I know mine was due to my progesterone because once I started the supplementation (in each pregnancy) I stopped spotting. Please go and have yourself checked out, even by your primary Dr. Stress can do horrible things to people.
You are in my thoughts and prayers hun. It is good to see you though. :0)
HUGS
Kris
|
|
|
Post by andee on Aug 24, 2005 6:28:44 GMT -5
Thanks.I am going to monitor this month just to see if my cycle is off again.Then I will make an appointment to see whats wrong if anything other than stress.
|
|
|
Post by kurby68 on Aug 26, 2005 21:17:23 GMT -5
Andee
I am so sorry about your sil. I hope that you too will be able to help eachother through this time.
Take care
|
|