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Post by alspals13 on Jul 17, 2011 21:26:06 GMT -5
My DH and I were expecting our first child, we found out at 4 weeks I was pregnant and we were so excited. We had an ultrasound last Tuesday and the GS measured 7 weeks 2 days, but the Dr. told me there was no yolk sac, fetal pole, or anything...it was empty. So devastating. I am at a complete loss right now. I am awaiting the miscarriage naturally (hopefully). My doc offered a D & C, but rec'ed to wait it out naturally until I couldn't handle it anymore. I just want it to happen and be done. I am so frustrated. Sorry for venting, just don;t know where else to go. Thanks...
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Post by carlsangel on Jul 18, 2011 1:00:00 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss! I know this is such a devestating and confusing time. Be prepared to be on an emotional rollercoaster for a while...one moment you will feel like you can handle the loss, then the next you will be an emotional wreck. Just remember that it does get better with time. I will be praying for you, and hope you will find healing soon! *HUGS*
~Hannah~
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Post by sml111980 on Jul 18, 2011 6:14:48 GMT -5
Sorry for your lose. I just went through the same thing for over a month. Had heavy bleeding, my HCG levels were still rising, ultrasound showed nothing at 6weeks and some days. Doctor had me do a series of blood work and told me to treat myself like I was pregnant. I am suppose to call the doctor today to see if my results are in but Saturday 6/16/11 I took a home pregnancy test which tested NOT PREGNANT. I am sad but very relieved that I know what is going on. The last few weeks have been hell for me. I will be praying for you!!! Sarah
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 18, 2011 9:24:25 GMT -5
Thank you for the support. Sarah I am so sorry for your loss as well. I am really hoping that my body figures out what is going on and catches up with my mind. Does anyone know anything to speed along the miscarriage other than the medications? I am def. on an emotional rollercoaster. One second I feel like I can handle this, but then the next second I'm crying and don't know what to do with myself anymore....what a horrible thing for all of us to go through....
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Post by mzr on Jul 18, 2011 9:34:27 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you can find the strength and comfort from this site to get you thru the days. I know, for me, the women here have been such an amazing life line. My first loss was almost 5 years ago and I still have days were I feel mad, sad, guilty, and disbelief over the loss. So, yes, the emotional wounds are deep. I hope that your physical healing comes soon. I'm sorry that I don't have any words of wisdom on how to speed along the process as I opted to have a D&C. We are always here for you if you need us as you go forward.
Hugs to you and let us know how you are doing. Marisa
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Post by venusapollo on Jul 18, 2011 14:21:27 GMT -5
I am in the exact same boat. I had never heard of a BO before our doctor told us a little over a week ago. He did not bring up the D/C option but did say to contact him if a few weeks went by without miscarrying. It is hard to sit around knowing that there has been a loss and just waiting for the physical confirmation of the bad news. I am trying to take good care of myself physically and mentally but it is easier said than done. The stories of people who conceive and go on to have healthy babies after BOs and miscarriages is giving me hope. *hugs*
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 18, 2011 16:00:52 GMT -5
I know, I had never heard of a BO before either....how is that possible with it being so common?? I just spoke with my doc's nurse and she said she is going to talk to the doc and call me back tomorrow because she thinks that maybe the brown discharge on Sat night may have been the sac and now we can just wait for my period. But, she isn't sure either so I am just waiting to hear back tomorrow. I requested to have my HCG levels pulled again to have a better idea where my body is at instead of being on the fence. I am so sorry you are going through this as well. It is unbelievable to me how difficult is really has been. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you and hoping it passes soon and we can both move on to have happy and healthy babies next time!
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Jul 18, 2011 23:41:56 GMT -5
I am sorry you are going through this. I have no wisdom for how to speed things along as I had a D&C the first time and took meds the second. Unfortunately there really isn't any choice but to wait and hope your body gets the message soon. Having a m/c is devastating enough without the waiting for it to be over. We are here for you if you need us. (((HUGS)))
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 19, 2011 12:53:39 GMT -5
It has only been a week and I would love to try the med's. How well do they work???
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Jul 20, 2011 1:37:09 GMT -5
The meds worked wonderful for me it was called misoprostel or something like that (the name is escaping me right now). I would choose them again if god forbid I end up with that kind of decision. I will warn you though I bled very heavily for 8 hours I couldn't even get off the toilet for 8 hours because I was bleeding so heavy. My Dr. explained that the farther along you were when you took the med the heavier the bleeding would be (I was 13 weeks when I diagnosed and 14 wks when I took the pill) so apparently that heavy of bleeding is on target for how far along I was. A few pieces of advice if you choose to go that route ask for something for pain as you contract alot and it was very painful, I would also make sure you schedule 2 days for it (the first day for the bleeding etc. and the second to rest) also make sure there is someone home with you for support. My DH brought me drinks and stuff while I couldn't get off the toilet it was also nice to have him there to emotionally support me. In the end I think it has helped us both heal better because it was like we made this baby in private and now we get to say goodbye in private.
The Dr. gave me a choice and I didn't want another surgery and because I was so far along was not a choice. So my Dr. and I discussed it and I choose the me. I had to take a large number of pills (I can't remember how many I think it was 4 or 5). The Dr. suggested taking it in the morning because then everything would be over by bedtime. A week later I had to take two more pills to make sure my uterus had completely emptied. The first time taking the pills the bleeding was very heavy and the pain was horrible (until my dr. came to house and gave me a shot for the pain (I am in a small town and the dr. will do house calls if needed) but by that evening the bleeding had gotten light and the pain was gone. I bled light for 2 days and then it stopped. When I took the pills the second time the pain was like very light period cramps and I didn't bleed at all. If you decide to go that way or have any questions please do not hesitate to ask. Not many women on the site have gone that route but I am sure if anyone else did they will share that experience (off the top of my head I don't remember anyone else on this site. You can also pm me if you want. (((HUGS)))
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 20, 2011 16:48:23 GMT -5
Thanks so much for the helpful information. I woke upp this morning and started bleeding a little bit. I big amount in the morning when I peed and then spotting throughout the day so far. So I am hoping that my body is catching on and it will all start to release soon. I was just 7 weeks and 2 days when they diagnosed so my doc said that it should be like a regular period (which for me is usually pretty light). I am hoping the bleeding this AM and the spotting today means it has begun. If not, I think I will question about the med's. Thanks again!
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Jul 21, 2011 0:17:55 GMT -5
Your welcome I hope your body is doing it by itself. We are here for you while you are going through and anytime you need us after. (((HUGS)))
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Post by venusapollo on Jul 21, 2011 9:47:03 GMT -5
I started bleeding Monday night. I am also hoping that this all is taken care of naturally. I think I was 6 or 7 weeks since they saw a 6 wk empty sac. Emotionally this is so different from a period though. Let's hope for the best. *hugs*
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 21, 2011 9:56:51 GMT -5
I know if happy is the right word, but I am relieved for you! I have been cramping in the middle of the night and morning for the past 2 nights and then spotting just in the morning and then nothing after that. I am hoping it's coming soon and my body expels naturally....so frustrating the not knowing...
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Post by venusapollo on Jul 21, 2011 10:00:02 GMT -5
I was cramping for quite a few days before it got under way. By yesterday I was bleeding quite a bit more. Probably not heavy for some, but for me it is. The tissue is what freaks me out. I keep worrying that I may not be passing enough material. I also don't know how long it lasts. Some people have said a few days, others saying it can be up to 2 weeks. My friend also mentioned taking a pill, which others have mentioned. What did your doctor say about follow up?
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 21, 2011 20:55:36 GMT -5
My doc pretty much told me the same thing today when I talked to her. She said that I'll cramp for a few days (which I am doing now) and then have a regular period with the heaviest day maybe a little heavier than normal. It should last 1-2 weeks she said typically. At this early stage, usually 1 week. As for follow up, I have to go in 2-4 weeks after I'm done bleeding to get checked and make sure it was complete. I am worried about the material too....how do we know if it's enough, etc....ahhh, so complicated!! how you doing/feeling/
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Post by venusapollo on Jul 22, 2011 9:57:01 GMT -5
I spent last night in the ER. Feeling exhausted today, but couldn't sleep this morning. I'm going to update my post, but I was thinking of you this morning.
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 22, 2011 12:57:43 GMT -5
Oh no....how are you feeling now? why the ER?? I hope you're ok and am thinking about you. I started actually bleeding today full on period and bad cramps, ouch!
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Post by venusapollo on Jul 22, 2011 13:18:56 GMT -5
Just be gentle with yourself the next few days. I appreciate your support and I hate to be part of this club, but what a caring and supportive group that helps with true empathy. I didn't want to scare you or anyone else, but being prepared for different outcomes can help. I wish I had read all the member stories first. I hope your situation is much easier on you. All this is difficult enough as it is. I'll keep updating and checking in on you.
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 22, 2011 13:33:56 GMT -5
Thanks so much. I will be heeding your advice for sure. I agree that this is such a wonderful group of people who have been so supportive and informative. No fun to be a part of it, but wonderful that it exists. I as well will be checking up on you and updating. Have you thought about when you will start TTC again? I find that is helping me to be more hopeful!
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 24, 2011 12:49:15 GMT -5
As a follow up I started bleeding very heavily yesterday afternoon with moderate cramps. They died down at night. When I woke up this morning I was having severe contractions for 5 hours and blood was spilling out of me ( tmi I know) and then I felt an urge to push and the big gestational sac came out. I immediately feel better but very very drained. I am relieved that it came out but wow was it painful. Just thought the info may help others out there going through a similar thing. Of which I wish upon nobody.
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Post by venusapollo on Jul 24, 2011 13:29:26 GMT -5
I am glad you are doing ok. Are you feeling better now? I slept 12 hours last night, so my body did really need some time to re-cooperate. Hopefully the worst of it is over for you. When I got to the bathroom after that first big gush I saw a mass that looked like two large marbles stuck together. I was assuming that was the sac or placenta. I figured I was blocked up because the bleeding was fairly moderate before that. In those few hours after and at the ER a lot more large masses came out. Sounds like you had a similar experience in some ways of it all happening in a short period. Our dr apologized for not warning us but said it isn't the norm and he didn't want to worry or scare us. I have been having a lot of pressure in my rectum...since the pregnancy started and especially now. I think it is a combination of constipation and cramps(like I said I never get them) and I was wondering if they were more like contractions. Mine seem to last a long time...maybe 3-5 minutes of squeezing before it subsides. It has been better the last day or two. The ER gave me methergin for the bleeding which I took one of yesterday. I am not sure if I should be taking them 2-3 times a day or not since I am not bleeding a lot now. I think I still might take them just to be safe since it seems they can help expel any left over material. I have had a slight fever around 99-99.5 but I think that is due to the urinary infection I am fighting, and I have been keeping a close eye on it. Our doctor wants to see us in 6 weeks to do an exam and pap. I am guessing I will wait until my next period after this which can be up to 3 months...then we will start trying again(I am pretty sure the dr said 3 cycles forgetting my irregularity). I am very eager to be pregnant again, but bummed about timing. Our summers (june-sept) are in the 100s. I didn't want to be huge and preggo during that time. I have seen some references to ovulation predictors and tracking. I am sure we are going to be pretty gung-ho. My DH had made a little baby board for me in the bathroom when I was having the morning sickness(something positive to focus on). It had a card he wrote me from when we found out, a few nb onesies and some pictures. We took it down when we found out about the loss. I also had a whiteboard in the kitchen to keep track of my diet and healthy eating with the little recommended diet pamphlet. When we do start TTC I am going to cut the alcohol and take prenatals. I have been going back and forth between being really angry with God and then trying really hard to convince myself of reasons for this. Some times I can be positive and others I am just mad. I lost my Mom last year in May and for the first time in a year when we found out we were pregnant I felt truly happy. I felt like this was meant to be. To have it taken away just feels awful. I am wondering how long the bleeding lasts, as I have seen some say 1-3 weeks. Did you have any rh issues? Are you considering any steps for planning or TTC?
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 24, 2011 14:50:53 GMT -5
Well I have to say it sounds like you have an amazing support system in your DH. He sounds truly amazing and luckily you have him to help you through this difficult time. We as well were extremely excited and soooo ready for baby #1....who knew it could be this hard and heart wrenching. I am not sure about the RH blood stuff as I am A, but I can tell you a little about cramps. Before I went on B.C., I had horrible cramps, otherwise known as contractions I think. They would last 1-2 minutes and be about 3-5 minutes apart and usually last 2-4 hours. I havent experienced them in a long time as I have been on BC for 13 years. When the contractions hist this morning, it reminded me of those days but was ten times worse. I would say your cramp contractions sound pretty normal. I am happy to hear your bleeding has slowed down and hopefully the infection is under control now. My bleeding has slowed, but is still like a heavy period, just not flowing like a river out of me like last night and this morning. I have heard 1-4 weeks of bleeding, but heavy only for a few days. So hopefully we have both surpassed the worst of it and can now start to recover and begin to get excited about a hopefully soon to be pregnancy. I recently downloaded an app for ovulation that I plan on using. I think we are going to plan on waiting one cycle and then start TTC again. My plan is just to do it every day and cross my fingers along with prenatals which i am still taking and no drinking and light onn the exercise (I think I went too much during this one). I am just so scared that this will happen again, but want it more than I am scared. On a side note, my sister in law told me she is pregnant last night. They started trying a month after us and I am really close to her, but I am just having a hard time being VERY excited for her. Don;t get me wrong, I am, but I am just jealous that it's not me....is that horrible??
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Post by venusapollo on Jul 24, 2011 15:25:47 GMT -5
I don't think it is wrong to feel a little jealous. I have been seeing a lot of pregnant women and women with kids and thinking about how unfair it is. There are all these young girls who get knocked up accidentally, people having abortions...doesn't seem fair when we are in our early 30's, married, stable, and really wanting a baby. I keep telling myself that I don't know their story or what they had to go through. I was on BC from 19-30. I was irregular from 12-19 and just felt like BC was a good option to keep me on a monthly schedule. I went off it in Aug last year because I have had migraines since I was 23 and the doctors kept telling me the pill wasn't helping. We were using protection for a month or so and then just figured we would see what would happen. We weren't actively trying but weren't preventing it. Your cramps sound awful. I feel lucky that i never had to deal with that at least. I guess we all have our own burdens to bear. Keeping the worrying to a minimum next time around will be hard. I think until the baby arrives in a healthy state it will be hard to keep fears at bay. I am going to try not to stress myself out though. Easier said than done. I know logically the worry doesn't help anything, but I was blindsided by all this. When I went for the u/s there was no part of me that was worried. I didn't think I was at risk for a m/c and had no idea that it was common. The sudden m/c was a shock too. I do know that seeing the success stories of people who went through this and were later able to conceive and have children makes me feel a bit better.
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Jul 24, 2011 22:47:52 GMT -5
I feel for both you ladies. As all the ladies on here will tell you every one of us spent every successful pg after having a loss is nervewracking. Every symptom or lack of symptoms sends us into a panic. One of the ladies put it perfectly that after a loss you lose more than a baby you lose your innocence. The innocent enjoyment of pg is something we will never get back because we know it can happen to us. My first loss was a decade ago and I remember thinking that they were wrong that m/c only happens to older people I was to young to lose a baby. TTC is just as bad I think all of us sort of got obsessed with it. We all know what it is like to spend a whole month wondering if this is the month and then yet again the old hag shows up. For the lucky ones it happened quickly for the rest of us it was a long agonising wait. Come vent to us whenever you need to through your healing, TTC and fingers crossed your pgs. We are all here and have all been where you are. It can happen for you I have had more than one loss but my two wonderful boys (both conceived after losses) are everything I ever dreamed of and make all the pain worth it. (((HUGS)))
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 25, 2011 17:53:44 GMT -5
Well as I am starting to feel better and somewhat back to normal (as the bleeding has slowed down and the cramps are at a minimum), I am starting to get really excited about TTC again! My doctor told us to wait one regular cycle before TTc again, but she was very honest in saying that it was easier if we waited because the HCG levels would be down to 0 and it is easier to predict a due date as well as an internal barometer for me to know everything is back to normal. But, I am a very impatient person and can not wait to try again!! However, my DH wants to wait the month just to folow Dr's orders and know everything in my body is healed and back to normal. Any experiences anyone can share or suggestions to help? Thanks!
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Post by existential27 on Jul 25, 2011 18:12:06 GMT -5
Doctors differ in when they tell patients they can start TTC again-- mine told me there was no reason to wait, and we didn't. However, it took me 6 months to get pregnant again with my DS. My cycles were really off after my loss-- my first cycle was super long, and it was hard to know when I ovulated. It was probably 3 or 4 months before things were back to my normal.
I don't think it would be a bad thing to wait a cycle, although I understand how that could seem like an eternity. There are definitely women on here who got pregnant again right after a loss, before having another period. Some pregnancies were successful, and others were not-- but there's no way of knowing if waiting would have changed the negative outcomes. It really seems more common, though, that it takes women at least a few months, if not longer to get pregnant again, even if they started TTC again right away.
Best of luck to you when you do start TTC again!!
KC
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Post by alspals13 on Jul 25, 2011 19:24:17 GMT -5
Thanks so much for the information, it is really helpful. We are really struggling with this decision, but I logically know it best to wait the one month so if something does happen, I can't blame myself for not waiting...
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Jul 26, 2011 1:11:32 GMT -5
I didn't wait one cycle as my Dr. said it didn't really matter as I used the pills to mc he said he only reccomends waiting after a D&C as your unterus has been scraped and needs time to heal but like KC my cycles took a while to settle I think about six months sometimes they were really long and others were really short it took me seven months to conceive DS. I know it seems like forever and my motto was I will conceive when my body is ready if it was not ready I would not conceive. That was the longest 7 months! The irregular cycles were frustrating too. I think once I went something like 50 days between periods but the next months was 2 weeks. When you are ready though join the cruise on the TTC board and we will all cheer you on.
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Post by alspals13 on Aug 5, 2011 17:55:02 GMT -5
As a follow up, I went to my doctor today to have my follow up appt to ensure it was a complete miscarriage and to make sure my body is healed. Everything is back to normal and she said my body is healed! She gave us the official go ahead today to start trying when we are ready. We are sooo totally ready!!! So here we go again!! Keep your fingers crossed for us and send us some sticky dust!!
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