Post by jenika3 on May 4, 2011 20:42:04 GMT -5
Hi all I am new here and just need someone to talk to. I am 26 years old I have been married for 8 years and have 2 beautiful children, March 31st we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd. This baby was a surprise I had just started a new job that was very promising I felt like God had finally answered my prayers I thought I had everything! I went to have a sonogram on April 12th and the first words out of my doctors mouth were "Have you been bleeding?", there was just a sac no heartbeat no fetal pole and no yolk sac. My heart sank I held on to hope because I was only 6 weeks and the doctors were wrong with my fist two I was told the would be extremely small and was told my son was going to die (my daughter was 7lbs7oz and my son was 6lbs11oz). I was told to come back in 2 weeks for another sonogram, it was the longest 2 weeks of my life! I had to quit my amazing job to stay home and try not to stress in the hopes that the pregnancy was still viable. When we went for the sono nothing had changed so he sent me to the hospital so they could see if there machines would pick up something. We went and they did the sono and sent me back to my doctor, he sat me down in his office and told me my pregnancy had stopped and at that moment so did my whole world. I scheduled a D&C for 2 days later that was the scariest thing I have ever done. The emotions of losing my baby and then having surgery on top of it was so overwhelming. My husband took 4 days off of work to stay home home and hold me while I cried. I felt like God didnt love me anymore he had given me everything I wanted and then took it all away in the blink of an eye. Well its been a week since we found out everyday gets a little easier and I get a little stronger my heart is still broken but I have 2 other children to take care of so that is what keeps me going. I found out today my old job is hiring for my position again and they are holding a spot for me which is amazing I feel like eventually I will be able to live my life again it will just take some time to get to that point. This is something I had seen happen to other people but never thought it would happen to me and now that it has I will forever be changed. I am no longer angry at God I know their was a reason my baby was in my life for such a short time and that was that it brought me and my husband so much closer together after 11 years together we had started taking each other for granted and now we are closer than we have ever been. Thank you for listening to my story, I hope it helps someone else deal with their loss.