hb35
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Posts: 3
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Post by hb35 on Mar 30, 2011 9:12:15 GMT -5
Three weeks ago, I had my first ultrasound for this pregnancy, and they discovered an empty sac. I was completely blindsided. A second ultrasound was scheduled for the following week. However, in the meantime, I started bleeding, and then two weeks ago I miscarried naturally (at 9 weeks). At the time, I was a bit relieved, since I didn't have to have a D&C. My OB gave me two days' worth of Misoprostol to take care of anything that might have been left behind. The day after I finished with the Misoprostol, I felt like I had a UTI. So the doctor gave me an antibiotic to take care of it. Unfortunately, I wound up having a bad allergic reaction to the antibiotic. I'm finally feeling better, but I had to cancel a very important trip. We were going abroad to a city I had lived in for a number of years, where I have many friends. I hadn't been back in over four years, and this was the first time I was going to go there with my husband and son.
I feel so sad because the pregnancy is gone. But also, my body has been through so much the past few weeks. And I know that I won't have the opportunity to go on that particular trip for another few years. Now that I've had the experience I've had, I don't want to try to plan another international trip while I am pregnant. And I'm hoping to start trying again soon.
Given this experience and also all the horrible things going on in the world right now (Japan, Libya, etc.), I just feel so lost and sad. I'm having a hard time concentrating on anything now.
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Post by mzr on Mar 30, 2011 11:15:47 GMT -5
Oh hb, First, I am so sorry for your loss! It is not an experience that any woman should have to go thru. I am glad that you have found this site. For me, this site has been a place for support, comfort, guidance, and friendship that has helped me thru some of the worst days of my life. And I hope we can be a safe place for you too.
As you have probably learned by now, pregnancy losses, especially in the first trimester, are NOT uncommon. As many as 1 in 4 pregnancies (and some healthcare professionals will say 1 in 3) will end in miscarriage. If you think about it, a lot has to go right for an egg and sperm to meet, form a single cell, and divide and grow into a healthy baby. And, other than Bding and being conscious of your diet, there is little you can do to change the course of the pregnancy. I remember when I had my first loss in 2006, I was a genetic counselor and I had to counsel this 20 year old woman who had 3 children from 3 different men (2 of whom were in prison at the time, and all 3 children were in foster care) and was pregnant with her fourth. She had just been released from 90 days in jail for drug possession. After our session, I went home and SCREAMED and CRIED for hours at the injustice of the world. But, no one said life is fair and sometimes bad things happen to good people. Of course, knowing that certainly doesn't make the pain go away.
Everything that you are feeling right now - the grief, anger, sadness, lack of concentration, etc is perfectly natural and normal. As all the women on this site will tell you. We have been there and we understand your pain. And, I hope that we can also provide you with some strength and courage to try again. There are successful pregnancies after a loss. I had a beautiful son after my first loss and I am currently 7 months pregnant after having a second loss. And there are many women on this site who have had 3, 4, even 5 losses and then have gone on to have a healthy child. So, of all the feelings that you feel, please know that you don't need to feel hopeless.
We are always here if you need us.
Hugs, Marisa
Then, on top of your loss, to have to go thru all the other things - the allergy, the cancellation of a wonderful trip, and your grief about the world's events. It sounds like you are going thru more than your share right now and for that I am doubly sorry. Don't worry about future trips. Right now, your focus needs to be on yourself and, of course, your son.
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hb35
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by hb35 on Mar 30, 2011 18:52:25 GMT -5
Marisa, thank you so very much! I really appreciate your kind words and support.
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Post by wrennie on Mar 31, 2011 22:23:05 GMT -5
sorry for your loss, i am going through it too. it was so sad to see the empty sac...hope lost. I have a d&c tomorrow, im terrified. I hope all of it goes well so i can move on. I know what you mean about it feeling hard to concentrate on anything. I am thankful for my beautiful daughter, she reminds me of what a blessing i have! sending.. you hugs.
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Mar 31, 2011 23:21:25 GMT -5
I am so very sorry for your loss. Like Marisa said we have all been there. Even though I have had a baby since my loss I still get angry at women who seem to get pregnant if they are looked at wrong and don't seem to deserve it. One woman in our town was telling me how she is now 7 months pg with her third "accidental pg" she isn't sure who the father is and neither of her previous childrens fathers is at all involved with them as neither one is sure they are the father and she was wishing it hadn't happened she didn't want a third child (she is also on welfare) and it makes me so angry that I had to go through so much to get something so precious. Take care of yourself and know we are here to support you. (((hugs)))
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hb35
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by hb35 on Apr 3, 2011 20:37:24 GMT -5
Thank you, Wrennie and Lisa. I'm feeling a little better now. I took several days off from being online, and I think that helped me to re-center myself. Sometimes I think being online and seeing all my FB status updates -- not to mention the news -- just makes me feel more lost. After my hiatus I feel a bit more equipped to deal with life.
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Post by mzr on Apr 5, 2011 7:00:31 GMT -5
Glad you are feeling better, hb. Though, as Lisa mentioned, we always have moments where the grief comes out so just be patient with yourself. Appreciate the good days if you can and don't beat yourself up on the bad ones. We're here if and when you need us!
Marisa
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