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Post by wrennie on Mar 26, 2011 21:23:19 GMT -5
Hi there, i have just joined this group. i found out this week i had a BO, and this is my third pregnancy. My first baby girl was stillborn from Preeclampsia at 31 weeks into pregnancy in 2007. In 2009, I delivered a healthy baby girl, after 9 weeks of bedrest and a mild reoccurance of preeclampsia. Well, we decided it was time to try again, i should be 9 weeks now, but this week there was no baby in the sac. it was an awful experience to have. I am scheduled for a d&c april 1st. I am scared of surgery, but i want to have it to move things along so we can try again soon. But, i am also scared to try again, and worry that i am too old (34) and that my short cycles are the problem (too skinny maybe). ugg, i am sad, and lost, but i know i will make it through this loss, as its no where near as hard as my first lost.
looking forward to chatting with all of you and learning from your advice.
carin
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Mar 26, 2011 21:58:22 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss. It always breaks my heart when another woman joins our ranks we have all been where you are and we have all blamed ourselves at some point. It is not your fault nothing you did caused this to happen. It had nothing to do with your age or weight. There are many women on this site of all ages and sizes. Please remember we are here for you and we are always here to listen. Weekends are kind of quiet but I am sure you will get more responses on monday. Take care or yourself and keep us posted on how you are doing. (((HUGS)))
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Post by carlsangel on Mar 27, 2011 2:13:37 GMT -5
Dear Carin, I am so sorry for your loss! It is a very hard and confusing ting to go through...I have had 2, and you can't help but feel your body is betraying you. I hope you are able to heal quickly and be able to start trying soon! Hugs & prayers! ~Hannah~
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Post by wrennie on Mar 27, 2011 9:40:17 GMT -5
thanks Hannah and Lisa i really appreciate your kind words...this stinks!
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Post by mzr on Mar 27, 2011 14:14:26 GMT -5
Carin, I am so sorry for both your losses. Losing a pregnancy is never easy and it sounds like you have been through more than your fair share. There are few words that can heal these wounds. Like you said, it just STINKS!
I'm 34 too and pregnant for the 4th time, having had 2 losses and a healthy 3-year old son before this one. As a genetic counselor I can tell you that your risk for miscarriage doesn't change that much until you reach 40. I'm not sure if that is comforting or not. I have days were I cling to the statistics I have learned to keep me sane and rational. And other days where the anxiety that comes from knowing every little thing that could go wrong makes it hard to get out of bed. I think that's just life after a loss - not only have we lost our children, or our ideas of who those children would be, but we have lost our innocence about pregnancy too and it is unfair.
Anyway, please know that we are here for you when you need us. Like Lisa said, it can be quiet on the weekends sometimes but, even if you don't get a response right away, you are never alone. We are here for support, comfort, and friendship.
Hugs, Marisa
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Post by wrennie on Mar 27, 2011 15:34:30 GMT -5
Thanks Marisa, that does help alot, thank you so much. i know i can do this again, i just need to get my body in a better place. i think i got too skinny and now i have to maintain a little more weight. I went from 117 to 124 before becoming pregnant, now i am 126. I suppose ill lose a little with the d&c, but i think 125 is probably a more fertile weight. I think some more weight will help my cycle be heavier and help possibly the pregnancy next time, i am just so anxious to try again. thats the worst part, all the waiting before trying.
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Post by mzr on Mar 29, 2011 15:33:18 GMT -5
Carin, That sounds like a great plan to get your weight stabilized. And I think having that kind of goal that you are actually in control of may help you to feel like you are doing something other than just waiting around to start TTCing and then waiting for BFP. The waiting is definitely the hardest part, especially when whether the pregnancy is healthy or not is out of our hands. And, in terms of waiting, as you may see on this site, women have gotten all sorts of different advice from their docs about how long is the appropriate amount of time to wait. In the end, only you (and DH) can know what's right for you. There are women on this site who didn't wait at all after their miscarriage and others who have waited 2-3 cycles or longer. So, listen to your doctor but trust yourself more. Other things I learned from the ladies here are that foods like eggs, onions, garlic, and fish are good for supporting your reproductive system. Have you read the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" or gone to the website www.fertilityfriend.com? Both talk about charting your cycles and the book, in particular, gives other ideas of foods and vitamins that are helpful for women who are trying to conceive. Women on this site can also give you advice too based on our experiences if you are interested. You mentioned that you have short cycles and one thing that I learned from these resources is that if your luteal phase is too short (the time after you ovulate and before AF arrives) then your body may not make enough progesterone to support a pregnancy. In this case, you can ask your doc for suppositories as soon as you find out you are pg. Anyway, I don't mean to overwhelm you with information. Right now, your primary focus should be on getting thru the D&C and healing yourself physically. As you know, the emotional healing takes more time and we are here for you every step of the way. Hugs, Marisa
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