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Post by bella2 on Nov 23, 2010 9:25:31 GMT -5
Hi all this is my first post on here!
Firstly what a relief to find this forum, sisn't realise that B/O were so common particulary as I had never heard of them before until recently. I Suffered a B/O at 10.5 weeks pregnant on 4th Nov. Was absolutely devastating to see the sac with no baby, especially as this was our first. Had a D&C on 8th Nov and now just waiting first period to arrive. Just wondered how long you think I should wait before TTC again? Terrified that if I try again too soon my body won't be ready and I will MC again, on the other hand I am desperate for a child and will be 32 in Feb so don't want to leave it too long before trying again.
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Nov 23, 2010 11:48:40 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss. How long you wait is a personal decision. Some Dr. say wait 3 cycles some say anytime after your first AF. I started trying my first cycle. I decided that if my body wasn't ready I wouldn't get pg. Other ladies waitied longer to start trying again. I have even heard of ladies getting pg without getting an af and it worked out fine. I don't think there is a set in stone number it is generally Dr. or personal preference if there is nothing physically wrong with you. We are here for you for your journey. When you are ready the ladies on the TTC board can be great comfort cheering each other on!
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Post by mzr on Nov 23, 2010 16:44:43 GMT -5
Oh, Bella, I am so sorry for your loss! My first pg was a BO too. Your right that they are common but it still does STINK! You have found a great site for friendship and advice. The ladies here are fabulous! As much as I wish I did not have to go thru the experience of a pregnancy loss, I cannot imagine my life today without the women on this site. They have helped me thru 2 pregnancy losses but also anxiety during pregnancy, relationship issues, and general bumps in life's journey. Plus, they are always up for a good laugh too. In terms of time, I agree with Lisa, it is different for every woman. I had some complications after my first loss so we had to wait to TTC but after my second loss we started trying right away. In the US, it seems that most doctors want you to wait 2-3 cycles but I think that is mostly so they can feel more confident that your body is back to "normal" and so they can date a new pregnancy with more accuracy (since they use LMP to date a pregnancy). But, here in France (we moved here a year ago so I've now had a pregnancy loss in each country), the doctors were much more matter-of-fact about losses. "They happen because there is something wrong with the baby. Not you." is what I heard from the docs here, all of whom gave us a green light to TTC right away. So, do what feels right for you and your partner. And right for your body. The best advice I got from my doctors and the ladies here after my first loss was to be patient and gentle with myself. And to pamper myself. Go to the gym, get a manicure or haircut. And honor your feelings. Grieving is a process. Some days are hard, some days are easy. Just honor your feelings and trust your body. Take care of yourself, Marisa
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Post by bella2 on Nov 24, 2010 4:45:09 GMT -5
Hi Ladies
Thanks so much for your kind responses! I actually live in the UK and was briefly told after my D&C by the doc that I might want to wait one cycle so they have something to go by date wise but they never mentioned anything about waiting longer in case I MC again. Hence I thought i'd be nice to get a second opinion from others who have actually been through a similar thing. Mentally I am coping far better than I was 2 or 3 weeks ago, some days I feel ready to start trying again ASAP, then others I don't feel as though I'm quite ready yet to cope with all the worry of being pregnant again. I think I will take your advice and take a little time out to spoil "me" first, I did have a little shopping trip with my friend last week which helped cheer me up :-)
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Post by mzr on Nov 24, 2010 9:35:28 GMT -5
Good for you, Bella. This is definitely an emotional rollercoaster so take care of yourself! And let us know if you need anything. We are always here!
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Post by arkoch on Dec 12, 2010 17:12:14 GMT -5
Hi Bella,
I'm so sorry for what you have gone through, but know that you have found a fantastic support group full of amazing women.
I have seen 4 different OBGYN's since my first pregnancy in 2005... and I currently see a High-Risk OB. After my 3rd loss (which I had a D&C) he told me that MY BODY needed 3 cycles to get back to normal. When you have a D&C, they scrape the inside of your uterus. It becomes thinner then after you have a period. So it can take a couple of cycles to build up the inner lining of your uterus to the strength required to hold a pregnancy. Now, of course this isn't always the case for every woman, and there have been many who have gotten pregnant again right after a D&C. But for me, after my first loss I had a D&C... I got pregnant again after only one cycle, and lost that pregnancy, which chromosomaly was normal. (it was tested)... I'll always wonder if I had waited to get pregnant a couple more cycles if I wouldn't have lost my second baby.
Anyways, I say all this and really want to say that you just need to make sure your body is up to handling another pregnancy. Take care of yourself and let yourself heal emotionally as well. We're always here for you!
Hugs, Alisha
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