kel023
Junior Member
Posts: 88
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Post by kel023 on Nov 8, 2010 22:28:17 GMT -5
I'm having a horrible day and I guess I just need to vent. This time last year I was pregnant. Tomorrow it will be a year since my first ultrasound and Wednesday will be a year since I found out the news. I'm trying not to replay the events in my head but I can't help it. It's amazing how happy, hopeful, and excited you can be one day and the next day your world is shattered. What makes it worse is that my DH is away for work and I'm at home alone.
I've been crying for hours now. Did anyone else go through this?? I just can't seem to keep it together. I just can't believe it's been a whole year. I remember it like it was yesterday.
Sorry to freak out and rant but I just needed someone to listen.
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Nov 8, 2010 22:41:22 GMT -5
I think we have all been there. At the anniversary of each loss I have had I mourn. Each year it gets easier but the pain never entirely goes away it has been years since my first loss but the pain is still there. You will handle it better each year. I have a ritual for each of my losses every year. Each time I had a loss I bought a big candle ( I have replaced the first one now with one that is the same) and on the anniversary of the loss I light that angel babies candle, get in a nice warm bath, read a book, eat something fattening and stay in there until I turn into a prune. So my advice is whatever you choose to do make it about you and don't feel bad for being sad you are allowed. Take care of yourself. We are here anytime you need to vent.
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Post by mzr on Nov 9, 2010 4:54:50 GMT -5
Oh ((((Kelly)))). I am so sorry. Yes, like Lisa said, we have all been there but it doesn't make it any easier. This September was the 4th anniversary of my first loss and we had been trying to get pg again for 11 months. So it was an especially hard year. Like Lisa, I try to anticipate my grief and be extra gentle with myself. I don't have a set routine like Lisa does but I think that's a fabulous idea. A pregnancy loss is a terribly sad thing and it is out of your control. Taking back some of that control by taking extra care of yourself is one way to remind yourself that you did nothing wrong, that life is unfair sometimes, but that there is always hope and faith for the future.
Hugs, sweetie. What you are going thru is perfectly normal and if you need us, we are always here for you. Love, Marisa
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kel023
Junior Member
Posts: 88
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Post by kel023 on Nov 16, 2010 19:39:35 GMT -5
Thanks you guys. It's so nice having you here to listen....it means alot and made me feel so much better. I think I cried for 4 days straight. I cried so hard the night that wrote my last post that I went into work the next morning with swollen eyelids. I lied though and said that I had an allergic reaction to chinese food. lol.
I took your advice too and ate lots and lots of ice cream last week. I also tried to pamper myself as much as possible. My friend was nice enough to send me a basket last year when it happened filled with hand lotion, foot scrub, nail polish, and a face mask that I had never gotten around to using. I gave myself a little mani/pedi to help me relax. It definitely helped.
Anyways, thanks again for listening. I felt really helpless and alone that night and it was nice knowing I could come on here and vent a little.
Love, Kel
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Post by rita828 on Nov 16, 2010 21:13:58 GMT -5
I'm glad to hear you are doing better. Good luck on ttc.
Anita
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cubs
Senior Member
Posts: 395
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Post by cubs on Nov 17, 2010 17:11:10 GMT -5
Take comfort that we have all been there and know how you feel. Hugs.
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