Post by tigira on May 10, 2010 20:49:08 GMT -5
After losing 6 pregnancies since having my son almost 5 years ago, I was crying to my husband wanting to know why I couldn't have been told all the things that I've learned in the last few years. Why couldn't my RE have listened to my request to try Metformin when I was still 37? (My Ob/Gyn agreed that, with my conceptions since then, I'd probably have a toddler by now if the RE had even tried it).
I've talked with friends with teenage daughters that have been interested in all that I and a couple of my friends are going through. All the things we've learned that can affect fertility - blood sugar irregularities (high and low), metabolic issues (both high and low), over-exertion, not enough exercise, for some - celiac disease, for others - low carb lifestyles, besides the variety of infections and chemical exposures that can cause problems. Heck, the fragrances in some body washes can interrupt blastocyst development. I know these things, now. If I had known them years ago, I'd have been much better prepared for this very disappointing journey. My friends want their daughters to know all this so that they can have all their testing done at an early enough age to know what lifestyle changes they may need to make in order to preserve their fertility as long as possible.
Great. Nobody told me. I was told to make sure my career was stable before trying for a family. When it was, I was in a place where I was exposed to dangerous chemicals, so I needed to make changes so that I could at least work in an office environment rather than in the field. Know what? It's soul-sucking. So now, not only am I disappointed in my inability to have another child, but I'm disappointed in my work. That started after my father died (I was sort of following in his footsteps, albeit reluctantly), but it's gotten worse in the last couple of years.
So, what can I do? Go back to school at 40? To do what? RE? I know I don't have the stamina to manage med school, internships, residencies, and the specialization work that I'll need to do before I can even start down that road. I've considered going to get my masters to be a Physician Assistant - there are a couple of places I could do this in eastern Massachusetts. Still - do this while being a mom and working? And what if we try again, and I get pregnant while doing this? But can I keep my life on hold for another 4 years? And so on. I'll need to go back and do some more undergrad. I have all the chemistry and physics, but I need biology, too. That's the one I didn't do first time around.
Because, if I can't be mother to more than one child, I could at least do work that feeds my soul, right?
Now to figure out how to manage to do it. Or should I just put it on hold - after all, they tell you not to make major life decisions while grieving, right?
Thanks for giving me a place to at least ramble about this, though.
I've talked with friends with teenage daughters that have been interested in all that I and a couple of my friends are going through. All the things we've learned that can affect fertility - blood sugar irregularities (high and low), metabolic issues (both high and low), over-exertion, not enough exercise, for some - celiac disease, for others - low carb lifestyles, besides the variety of infections and chemical exposures that can cause problems. Heck, the fragrances in some body washes can interrupt blastocyst development. I know these things, now. If I had known them years ago, I'd have been much better prepared for this very disappointing journey. My friends want their daughters to know all this so that they can have all their testing done at an early enough age to know what lifestyle changes they may need to make in order to preserve their fertility as long as possible.
Great. Nobody told me. I was told to make sure my career was stable before trying for a family. When it was, I was in a place where I was exposed to dangerous chemicals, so I needed to make changes so that I could at least work in an office environment rather than in the field. Know what? It's soul-sucking. So now, not only am I disappointed in my inability to have another child, but I'm disappointed in my work. That started after my father died (I was sort of following in his footsteps, albeit reluctantly), but it's gotten worse in the last couple of years.
So, what can I do? Go back to school at 40? To do what? RE? I know I don't have the stamina to manage med school, internships, residencies, and the specialization work that I'll need to do before I can even start down that road. I've considered going to get my masters to be a Physician Assistant - there are a couple of places I could do this in eastern Massachusetts. Still - do this while being a mom and working? And what if we try again, and I get pregnant while doing this? But can I keep my life on hold for another 4 years? And so on. I'll need to go back and do some more undergrad. I have all the chemistry and physics, but I need biology, too. That's the one I didn't do first time around.
Because, if I can't be mother to more than one child, I could at least do work that feeds my soul, right?
Now to figure out how to manage to do it. Or should I just put it on hold - after all, they tell you not to make major life decisions while grieving, right?
Thanks for giving me a place to at least ramble about this, though.