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Post by lilly77 on Mar 23, 2010 8:33:21 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I'm new here.
My story in a nutshell... I just had a m/c over the weekend. Started with light spotting and I rushed to hospital.. they did a scan and found an empty sac, no baby, no heartbeat and no yolk sac - measuring 5 weeks. I am definite about my dates and there is no way that I could be 7 weeks out. They are making me come in again for a scan on Friday before they officially diagnose me, though they did say they are 99.9% sure it is a m/c. This is a blighted ovum right? I feel like such a freak that my body carried on thinking it was pg for nearly 12 weeks! and there was no baby? Is this really common? I have been bleeding every day since but (tmi alert!) really dark/brownish blood never red or fresh looking. I feel so so desperately sad. Its been 3 days since it happened and I still can't stop crying.
any help would be appreciated xx
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Post by EGeddes (Eryn) on Mar 23, 2010 23:27:30 GMT -5
Lilly, I am so sorry you are having to go through this..but we have all gone through a loss so we will be there for you every step of the way. Cry cry cry....it's ok ! You have all the right to feel sad, as soon as you see that positive test show up it's amazing. We all know what it feels like (((((HUGS))))). I never had a blighted ovum myself, but I did miscarry at 12 weeks. Don't think it is anything you did. You had no control over what happened and you did nothing to make it happen either. YOU ARE NOT A FREAK EITHER! It is a common thing, especially when 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage....funny thing is you never learn the stats until you have gone through it yourself. If there is no baby and just a sac, yes then that is a Blighted ovum.....I am sorry for you loss. It doesn't matter if it is a blighted ovum or not...you were still pregnant hun. You were. When you do finally pass everything you will know. We are all here for you hun!
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Post by mzr on Mar 24, 2010 8:39:35 GMT -5
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry! A pregnancy loss, regardless of the gestational age or reason, is by far one of the hardest things any of us has been through. You have come to a great place for friendship and support through this difficult time!
First, you are not a freak! BOs have many different causes and the cells that turn into the placenta are different than those that grow into a baby so your body thought you were still pg because you are still pg. You placenta is making the hormones. After my D&C, a few cells were left behind enough to cause my body to think I was pg for another 3 months! So, your body is doing what it thinks it is supposed to be doing. If anything, that makes your body normal!
Second, the crying is normal too. You are going through an incredibly sad experience right now. You have every right to grieve. From the minute we find out we are pg, our whole brain becomes consumed with hope and anticipation for this little bean we believe is inside us. You have been thinking about this bean, making plans, possibly changing your diet/exercise/daily routines. It is a loss. And with loss their is always sadness.
And you are not alone. There are women on this site going through the very same experience as you right now and others who have been there before you. And we are all here to hold your hand and to let you know that the sadness does eventually lessen (I'm not sure it ever fully goes away). Unfortuantely, miscarriages are fairly common (about 20-30% of first trimester pregnancies will miscarry). So a loss does not mean that you will never have a child. Only that there was something not quite right this time. But for now, the important thing is to take care of yourself. To let yourself feel sad, angry, whatever you need to grieve. And also to be nice to yourself.
Big hugs to you and know that we are always here, Marisa
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Post by optimisticmom on Mar 31, 2010 17:51:39 GMT -5
Lilly,
I am so sorry for you loss. I had my BO at 10 weeks, and my story was very similar to yours. Did you have an ultrasound prior to finding out you had a BO? All of your emotions are valid and real. You will be extremely sad and angry for a while. Do not feel guilty about this! It is part of the grieving process, and when you have a BO, MC, or CP you do grieve, a lot. Remember you did nothing wrong and nothing you could have done could have prevented a loss. If you need someone to lean on, vent, or cry, don't hesitate.
Dana
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