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Post by mallory on Jan 29, 2010 15:12:37 GMT -5
I'm rather happy I found this site. I have no one to speak with. My DH and I found out I was expecting two weeks ago. I was told I was six weeks pregnant and were thrilled. I started to spot on Sunday and on Tuesday, was taken in for an US, which stated I was only four weeks pregnant. My heart sank as I knew it was impossible. By Thursday, I was bleeding profusely and went to the ER. There I was told I was miscarrying. My regular OBGYN confirmed the results and gave me the option of waiting or the D and C. I chose to wait. My DH and I are heartbroken. I'm bleeding and the cramping isn't bad thanks to the heavy duty painkillers I'm on. Miscarriages aren't common at all in my family, so I can't help but think I did something wrong. I know I'm not correct, as the doctors and nurses have assured me I did nothing wrong but I can't help feeling guilty. I mean, this is incredibly difficult to deal with. My DH has already removed every book on pregnancy we own, but I have kept a few mementos and hidden them away. I don't want to forget I was ever pregnant. My family, friends and co-workers have been incredibly supportive of me, but all I want to do is sit in my room and cry.
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Post by lfischer on Jan 29, 2010 15:47:17 GMT -5
{{{Mallory}}}
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that you have found a wonderful and supportive group of women. We are here for you every step of the way.
I understand your feelings of wanting to blame yourself, but let me reassure you that you did nothing to cause your BO. Your feelings are very normal and it can be a tremendous emotional roller coaster. Take time to grieve your loss and know that it is ok to have those feelings. I don't think anyone on this site will ever forget the little ones that we lost.
Remember to take care of yourself and to pamper yourself.
Hugs and tight hand holding as you go through this difficult time~
Leah
Feel free to pm anytime.
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Post by carlsangel on Jan 29, 2010 17:02:31 GMT -5
im so sorry..praying for you! ~Hannah~
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Post by Heather (hlam) on Jan 29, 2010 17:23:52 GMT -5
So sorry for your loss! Praying for you......
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Post by justinsmomma on Jan 29, 2010 17:39:59 GMT -5
We all understand your grief, and grieve with you. So very sorry to have to meet under these circumstances. Please feel to lean on one of us, for support.
Big big HUGS
Kris
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tara
Full Member
Posts: 167
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Post by tara on Jan 29, 2010 18:01:51 GMT -5
Mallory, I am so very sorry for your loss. I also had that feeling that maybe I did something wrong or maybe there is something wrong with me after my B/O. I think it's only normal to have so many thoughts running through your head during an emotional time. I had 2 B/O's at once so I thought there must be something wrong with all my eggs. After finding this site and speaking with close friends I have really discovered that many women have B/O's and miscarriages and that is is more common than I thought. I too come from a family with no history. Please know that we are all here for you each step of the way. I have found amazing support in this group of strong women. Please write any thoughts or questions. Relax and take care of yourself. xx Tara
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Post by daffylexer on Jan 29, 2010 22:38:06 GMT -5
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I've has 2 losses (b/o and a m/c) and wondered if I did anything wrong. It's taken a lot of soul searching to finally understand in my heart that I did nothing wrong, just as you did nothing wrong. I think whenever we loose someone we search for answers, and I think that's doubly so when we loose one our children. It's a horrible time to face, but it will get easier as the weeks go by. It may not fee like it right now, but a day will come where you can smile again, and when that happens, don't feel guilty about it. It doesn't mean you love your baby any less; it just means you're healing. Also, please remember to let yourself grieve, and to do so at your own pace. I've seen so many posts from women who say friends, family, etc say "It's been x amount of time, why arent' you over it yet?" Truth is, we never get over it; we just learn to live with it, again, part of the healing. Until that time comes for you, remember that whatever you're feeling is legit and it's okay to feel that way for whatever amount of time you need. There is no timetable for grief. Most of all, remember we're here for you through this time and beyond.
Big hugs, Alexa
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Post by Lauren on Jan 30, 2010 7:11:36 GMT -5
Mallory, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is such a shock, I know, and the sadness you are feeling is very normal. It will come and go over the next few months, but it is especially hard in the first few weeks as your hormones are crashing from the miscarriage. Be kind to yourself, and take it easy. In time, you will feel better, but you will always remember the baby that was lost. This board is a great source of strength and support, so lean on it. Big hugs, Lauren
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Post by angelisaiahsmommy on Jan 31, 2010 14:45:21 GMT -5
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss I've had 2 losses 1 BO and 1 ectopic. It's not easy an I think every woman wonders if she did something wrong. It was nothing you did. And for support, you've come to the right place hun. I'm so sorry. Ashley
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Post by mallory on Jan 31, 2010 23:53:14 GMT -5
Thank you! You all have no idea how wonderful it is to hear so many positive responses. I have printed out your messages for the DH to see and he is truly touched. I cannot thank you all enough.
It has been hard, but we are managing to get through. We have had some charm bracelets made up with baby items and angels, which we are wearing...although he is not ready to name the b.o. yet, I feel in time he may.
Again, thank you so much for the support. It was desperately needed and it has done wonders for us! I will visit again soon.
<3 Mallory
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