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Post by Charlotte on Oct 13, 2005 23:28:14 GMT -5
Dear all, You have been so wonderful to me at this time in my life. There is more to my story...unfortunatly. In June two of my dearest friends had miscarriages. One at 10 weeks and one at 11 1/2. Then my DH have had our b/o this month. Yesterday I had a dr. appointment and found out that my hCG level is at 362. Witch is good-I guess. But my wonderful dr. who is always so supportive has been very distant lately. He told me too that I have a blood clotting disorder. Which didn't lead to my miscarriage but , explains my complications in pregnancy. Anyway, after an exhausting day yesterday.... I stopped by a friends house this morning to drop something off. She is expecting her 4th baby in April. She was saying how running her daycare was getting very tiring being pregnant and that things were looking good. (she has had 2 miscarriages in last 2 years and thyroid surgery) All levels were good but she was tired. This afternoon when I went to pick my kids up in the school parking lot I was approached by another friend who told me that our mutal friend has lost her baby at 15 weeks. She went for a schedualed visit this afternoon and they couldn't hear a heartbeat. They did a sono to confirm and it was true!! That makes four of us --all friends--since June. This just has to stop soon. What path is God leading us down?? We are all expecting to grow in faith from all this but, what is the plan here??? I'm still so raw with emotion and not many people know what has happened to me yet. I was a mess this afternoon. I'm just so tired. Thanks for everything again, Charlotte
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Post by mamabear on Oct 14, 2005 8:18:24 GMT -5
I hear you Charlotte and it is so upsetting to see how many new members to this site since you and I have joined this month. I am just wondering how many of us are over 40, like me? I mean I had one nurse tell me that really wasn't an issue as they have several patients expecting right now who are over 45. But the nurse practioner refused to comment on that when i guess i was looking for a little hope, that it wasn't "just old eggs"". Hang in there, it seems we have found the right spot here and I am feeling better day by day. Today is my 1 week anniversary of the D&C. Today is the day we looked forward to as TODAY signaled WEEK12 was over and we were going to make our big ANNOUNCEMENT today. So DH has planned a big day tomorrow with our DS to help ease our pain. Feel better. mamabear
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Post by Charlotte on Oct 14, 2005 8:53:25 GMT -5
Thank you for your kind words mambear. It is shocking to see how many people have joined recently:(. In our situation, we are all in our 30's. I'm only 31. We are all in general good health,stable marriages and are women of prayer. It is like an epidemic in our church right now. We are all reeling and looking at each other like we are eating or drinking something wrong. (which is obviously not an issue) We have two other friends who are both past 32 weeks of pregnancy. They are looking at each other like they are the last two standing in the middle of a battle field. It's very unnerving to see 4 out of 6 pregnancies go down in flames. Our kids would have all gone to school together and played together and so on snd so on... Thanks again, Charlotte
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Post by kurby68 on Oct 14, 2005 10:13:47 GMT -5
Charlotte
I agree there seems to be an epidemic. But at the same time I see hope. I have seen many women including myself that have become pregnant as well as on other boards that I belong on.
I try to look at the good side of everything and this was a really hard thing for me to get beyond. 1st I had to place faith in the hands of God and that s hard I have a control issue.... I then found out that I had friends that really were my true friends and a few people really surprised me. Especially my dh. He even though he didn't understand what I was feeling he really was there for me. Then I couldn't get pg again. Then on top of everything my dd had some problems at school and I got cellulitis (an infection in the tissue of my arm.) and my house was a wreck. Nothing was in order etc... So I prayed. I prayed for help not anything more or less just help.
My children & my dh started to help w/ everything and there were days I went to work and my dh had to tie my shoes because I had an iv in one hand that infiltrated and infection in my arm that I wear a prosthesis. (I was born w/o part of my arm from a few inches below my elbow) I was unsure how I would do anything etc but I went to work and I would come home & my dd was making dinner. My dh was cleaning. I had friends that drove me to or from work & dr appts. I had help. I am truly blessed. Not w/ a perfect family and a perfect job or life but a good family and a man that supports and loves me. We have our days where everything is crazy but I know that he loves me.
I guess what I am trying to get to is that I do not to this day understand why me but through this experience and the year that followed I grew. I grew as a wife, a mom, a friend and a christian. I learned that control is really not mine any ways and that what is truly important is My family, friends and God.
I hope I am making sense. I do tend to ramble. I will pray that you both get through this and at least get something through all the turmoil and pain.
((((((((HUGS))))))))
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Post by mamabear on Oct 14, 2005 10:30:25 GMT -5
Everything already written above is so true, but you know from reading all this "research" and stuff, maybe the problem is technology and the fact that we are finding out so so so early about our pregnancies... I can remember my mom, grandmas and even older friends talk about how they would try and try or miscarry, (Alll those years of trying and "weird" periods they have reported, may have been BOs) this research says that we are losing our babies so early on, that at one time (and not so long ago), we wouldn't have even known we were even pregnant.... and what are the stats 1 out of 4 KNOWN pregnancies are lost.... I think? I mean I was told to my face, several times, from several health practioners and "friends" When they had their miscarriage, got prego the very next month,etc. have a beautiful child, it won't happen to you 2 times in a row. Don't worry...... i am so tired of that and so very glad I have found you all. HUGS AND HOPE TO YOU.Mamabear
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katiel
Senior Member
Posts: 355
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Post by katiel on Oct 14, 2005 10:47:46 GMT -5
Mamabear and Charlotte,
I'm 39 and I only know one other person that has had a blighted ovum - and that was years ago. I don't know what's worse; having this happen to several people that you know or no one that you know. I can tell you that Kallie is completely right. I have had a friendship end after my bo, but I've had other people step up and really help me out. They've been wonderful to me. Finding this sight has been a lifesaver for me too. I am so grateful for my new friends and this site.
Katie
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Oct 14, 2005 14:05:39 GMT -5
There's so much that is unfair with having to deal with this, and I'm so sorry that there was so much loss at one time. There were three of us pregnant at one time in my circle. My friend Nikki was a few weeks ahead of me, they found the heartbeat for her and then at the next appointment it couldn't be found and the worst was confirmed. A few weeks later I started bleeding and was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. My friend Debbie had her little guy a few weeks after my due date was to have been. It felt so unfair.
Latter on my friend Liz tried for 7 years to have a second child, her blighted ovum was diagnosed around her 10th week.
Liz has decided to not have more children, Nikki and I went on to get pregnant two more times, and we both now have two children--no more losses. I know that it feels so overwhelming and unfair, but this doesn't mean that this is how it will end. There is hope, I promise. As time goes on, the pain will start to fade, but I remember with clarity how hard it was to move forward and how scary every step afterwards was. We are here for you, and I promise the raw pain you are feeling will start to fade and you will begin to heal.
**hugs** Lin
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