Post by Charlotte on Oct 9, 2005 11:46:20 GMT -5
First let me apologize for my typing(thank goodness for spell check)--pain killers kicking in....
I began to cramp and bleed yesterday afternoon. It began to get worse by early evening. My wonderful DH took all four of our children out of town on his own. He asked my to stay home to rest. As evening moved on things got worse and the pain began to get sharp and Motrin wasn't working any longer. My back has been very painful. I was told that this shouldn't be any worse than a regular to heavy period. I passed lots of clots the size of the palm of my hand with lots of gushing in between. I was told that the sac was about the size of a nickle and that the bleeding should not be bad. I passed the pregnancy and it was about the size of my palm and weighty. I continued to clot heavily and called the hospital. They told me to come in and bring the tissue with.
When I arrived I was whisked away to a quiet room WI lots of privacy and a bathroom near by. After 2 hours and confirmation that my blood counts were good, they sent me home with pain killers. They nursing staff was a little unsure how to treat me...I wasn't freaking out.It was really a strange palace to be in....I knew this was coming and it was worse than I thought but no panic on my part. The receptionist teared up more than me. They kept asking me if Iwas ok and if anyone was with me. I wasn't sure how to feel. DH can't be reached on cell phone because he is in a rural area so, I was trying to be as rational enough for two people so that I didn't panic when I had no help. I have cried enough in the past week to not have any more tears. I think that the hospital staff was expecting me to be a blubbering mess and I couldn't bring up any tears. I am sad and upest --this is very final but I think I'm just stressed by the whole situation. I'm sure when DH arrives home I'll fall apart. I' m just really confused as to how I feel. This whole week has just stunk and NOW I'm just numb. Is this part of the healing process? Am I going to freak out later on? Should I be a blubbery mess? Is it wrong not to fall apart over something that was inevitable and that cannot be changed? Are the hormones dropping so rapidly that I am already close to 'normal'? What a roller coaster.....
I found out as I left that the receptionist who made sure that I had a quiet private room had had two b/o's in the last 6 months. With tears in her eyes she said,"I'm sorry this has happened. I know it just sucks. Be carefull, you'll be fine for awhile and then in a couple of days/weeks things will creep up on you." I thought this would just be a week or so of emotional turmoil. I have been trying to keep everything normal here at home. Our kids are too young to be burdened with this, our oldest would understand and want to know why ,scientifically, this has happened. He is also an emotional kid and would be very upset to lose the possibility of another sibling. So, I have been carrying on with daily routines and maybe that has shifted my feelings all contained.
Sorry this so rambly but painkillers are working. I have to get s ome rest.
Tha nk you for letting me vent and question myself. You have been wonderful listeners. Now the tears are coming...
Charlotte
I began to cramp and bleed yesterday afternoon. It began to get worse by early evening. My wonderful DH took all four of our children out of town on his own. He asked my to stay home to rest. As evening moved on things got worse and the pain began to get sharp and Motrin wasn't working any longer. My back has been very painful. I was told that this shouldn't be any worse than a regular to heavy period. I passed lots of clots the size of the palm of my hand with lots of gushing in between. I was told that the sac was about the size of a nickle and that the bleeding should not be bad. I passed the pregnancy and it was about the size of my palm and weighty. I continued to clot heavily and called the hospital. They told me to come in and bring the tissue with.
When I arrived I was whisked away to a quiet room WI lots of privacy and a bathroom near by. After 2 hours and confirmation that my blood counts were good, they sent me home with pain killers. They nursing staff was a little unsure how to treat me...I wasn't freaking out.It was really a strange palace to be in....I knew this was coming and it was worse than I thought but no panic on my part. The receptionist teared up more than me. They kept asking me if Iwas ok and if anyone was with me. I wasn't sure how to feel. DH can't be reached on cell phone because he is in a rural area so, I was trying to be as rational enough for two people so that I didn't panic when I had no help. I have cried enough in the past week to not have any more tears. I think that the hospital staff was expecting me to be a blubbering mess and I couldn't bring up any tears. I am sad and upest --this is very final but I think I'm just stressed by the whole situation. I'm sure when DH arrives home I'll fall apart. I' m just really confused as to how I feel. This whole week has just stunk and NOW I'm just numb. Is this part of the healing process? Am I going to freak out later on? Should I be a blubbery mess? Is it wrong not to fall apart over something that was inevitable and that cannot be changed? Are the hormones dropping so rapidly that I am already close to 'normal'? What a roller coaster.....
I found out as I left that the receptionist who made sure that I had a quiet private room had had two b/o's in the last 6 months. With tears in her eyes she said,"I'm sorry this has happened. I know it just sucks. Be carefull, you'll be fine for awhile and then in a couple of days/weeks things will creep up on you." I thought this would just be a week or so of emotional turmoil. I have been trying to keep everything normal here at home. Our kids are too young to be burdened with this, our oldest would understand and want to know why ,scientifically, this has happened. He is also an emotional kid and would be very upset to lose the possibility of another sibling. So, I have been carrying on with daily routines and maybe that has shifted my feelings all contained.
Sorry this so rambly but painkillers are working. I have to get s ome rest.
Tha nk you for letting me vent and question myself. You have been wonderful listeners. Now the tears are coming...
Charlotte