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Post by missjenngirl on Sept 3, 2005 20:03:29 GMT -5
I can't believe how much my life has changed in 48 hours! I was so excited about the baby that was to come in march i went in on thursday, tape recorder in hand ready to capture my baby's heart beat just to find myself wisked away to ultrasound. No baby they told me. just the sac it was sized at 7 weeks. I stopped crying about 8 hours afterwards, I have been relying on my husband and my faith to drag me through but now I am just waiting.... the doctor told me to call in 2 week if I haven't passed anything.. i want it gone, I have no idea when or if it will start. Anyone want to hazard a guess? I read that I my never start to miscarry because the body has a hard time recognizing BO. should I just go get a D&C or will it come on it' own. The waiting is the hardest part. oh and it doesn't help that my husband who means well keeps saying.. " well thee never was a baby there" i'm not sure really why that bothers me so much but it does. jen
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Joli
Junior Member
Posts: 42
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Post by Joli on Sept 3, 2005 20:16:10 GMT -5
First I want to say I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I also am due in March. March 19th. I went to the doctor Tuesday and was told I measured 8 weeks. You may have already read my thread. I am waiting for another ultrasound to be sure before I let them do a D & C. My doctor said "it's just a test. Tests aren't always right." He said I may not be far enough along. But also said he did not want to get my hopes up. I have not had any cramping, and just a small amount of bleeding yesterday morning. Waiting is very hard, but these ladies here have been very supportive and I feel that I will always wonder if they could have been wrong if I don't wait. As for your husband's comment, I also feel it is comforting to think that the baby never began developing. I would have been more devastated to see a baby with no heartbeat. I know that is not a comfort to you now. Let yourself grieve and keep coming here for support from people who understand what you are going through. I will be praying for you.
Joli
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Post by youngmommaof4 on Sept 3, 2005 22:42:43 GMT -5
I am not trying to instill false hope or anything but I have a 10 month old son and when he was 5 months old, I found out that I was pregnant. The doctor sent me for an ultrasound and they called me into the doctors office upon getting those pictures back. The doctor said that they saw a fetal sac and no baby and that I had what was a blighted ovum. They said I was 6 weeks pregnant and that they should have been able to see the baby by this time. They said to confirm that indeed I had this they would send me for an HCG test. once now and then in 48 hours. If the pregnancy was still alive than my hormone levels should double after 48 hours. The first results gave a number of 31000. And the second 37000. They only went up 6 thousand so I thought that the baby was dead. The doctor offered me an abortion on 2 occasions and I said I would let it happen on it's own. Every cramp I got I thought was beginning my miscarriage. The doctor phoned me and asked if I had any cramping or bleeding yet and I said no.Again he offered me an abortion. By this time I would have been 8 weeks. I again declined. He rescheduled an ultrasound appointment for me. I was expecting to see a dead baby and I didn't even want my husband to be in the room because I knew how much he wanted this baby. The lady put the thing (I don't know what it's called) on my stomach and she said there's the baby. And I got to hear it's heartbeat. I CRIED!!!!According to their tests my baby should have been dead. But now I am 25 weeks pregnant and due on December 20, 2005 with this baby that they thought was dead. So don't jump the gun and take their word for it that the baby has indeed passed before you agree to an abortion. Otherwise you could make a huge mistake!!! Doctors are not perfect...they do make mistakes! Get a second ultrasound to know for sure.
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Post by Heather (hlam) on Sept 3, 2005 22:56:57 GMT -5
Jen, My heart goes out to you! I totally know your pain.......all of us here do. I wish to welcome you here even under these very sad circumstances! The reason it hurts you so much to hear that there was never a baby is because in your heart there will have always been a baby! Just because it didn't develop and grow doesn't mean that it wasn't there for a time. I couldn't stand when people would say things to me like that.....eventhough I knew that they meant well. It made me feel like they were demeaning my pain! We will be here for you to offer our support or just to listen whenever you need us! Hang in There!
Take Care!
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Post by vernkatherine on Sept 4, 2005 5:38:04 GMT -5
Jen:
I am sorry you are having to go through this. I have had 2 BOs - both of mine expelled on their own. I was diagnosed with both at the 9+ week mark. Both expelled by week 10. On the 2nd one they wanted me to have a D&C but I opted to wait since the first one expelled on its own. Both times, the day after the ultrasound I started the process of expelling. I wish you the best and please keep us updated.
Katherine
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Post by justinsmomma on Sept 4, 2005 6:32:24 GMT -5
Hi there,
I am so so sorry that you have found the need to be here. We have all had your experiences, some of us twice. Both times I found out about my blighted ovums on ultrasound. I know the disappointment and horror that you are feeling. I just want to add that I do believe that my babies were "with" me, even for a short time. After all, conception took place, even to make a blighted ova. So don't let people tell you "there was never a baby"...that is just not true. Big big HUGS to you all who are waiting on test results. I do have to comment on using the word "abortion" to describe the surgeries that result from a miscarriage. I am a little offended by that term. I hope you guys understand that once you are 10-11 weeks along (or supposed to be) and they don't see a HB then the pregnancy definitely isn't viable. The surgeries that result are D&E (vacuum) or D&C (scraping). Your options will most likely be spelled out to you at your next appt. and I didn't want the previous poster to upset you by using that term.
Big big HUGS guys we are here for you
Kris
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Post by missjenngirl on Sept 4, 2005 9:02:27 GMT -5
thank you all very much. I'm still waiting for expell. I have a lot of pressure low, i always feel like I have to go to the bathroom and have had a few shape cramps but there is no blood. i 'm kind scared I don't want a d&c or a d&E the mere thought of either is just so offencive to my spirit baby or not. But what if I never expell!!!
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Post by Heather (hlam) on Sept 4, 2005 10:10:33 GMT -5
Jen, I just wanted to say that there is another option. I didn't have a D & C or a D & E and took medication to induce the miscarriage. I would just like to say though that this was very hard on my body but I was happy to be able to do it at home. Wishing you well.
Take Care!
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Post by kurby68 on Sept 4, 2005 15:03:40 GMT -5
Jen
Welcome and I am so sorry that you have had to find us. First let me say that yes there have been some instances of dr's error or dates being off or u/s machine not being strong enough. I think that each of us knows what is the best way for our own self to handle this whether it is to wait and see what happens, take lots more tests, to have a d & c but whatever way you choose and whatever happens know that we are all here. We have all been through the loss and know what you are going through.
As far as your dh I guess for me I feel that an egg & sperm met and they did unite to make the beginnings of a baby. Otherwise you would have not gotten a bfp. Somewhere something didn't go right and whatever started stopped, but there was a baby at least as far as your heart is concerned and that is probably why it is so hard. My dh was told by the er dr that it was not like I was really pg... Excuse me... It took 2 dr's and a lot of reading to convince him that yes I had been pg and that there was something there that stopped developing. For men it is different because it isn't their bodies.
I hope that whatever road you take that you find closure and healing and that you know we are here for you.
Take care
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Post by carrie12929 on Sept 5, 2005 19:25:39 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss!! It truly sucks to go from sky high happy to the lowest of low! Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers! I went through the same thing on 8/15- went to see heart beats and saw two empty sacs- It is finally starting to get better. I have done a lot of reading on the topic of m/c and BO and that has helped. We also wanted to remember our babies in some sort of memorial so I went to Halmark and found a metal tree that holds their little ornaments and photo frames- I hung up a bunch of charms- two April charms for their birthstones, two august stones for the month we lost them and a few other sentimental charms. It really helped me to put that together to remember them. I opted for the D&C and had that on 8/22- I did not pass anything on my own and did not want to drag it out further- the one week of waiting was hell enough! The D&C was not a bad procedure at all- minimal pain after and excellent pain control at the hospital. It was a positive experience and decreased the level of anxiety I was having about miscarrying at home. Please know you are in my thoughts- if you would like to chat dont hesitate to e-mail; carrie12929@aol.com
Hugs and Warm Thoughts Carrie
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Post by Egirl on Sept 5, 2005 23:38:49 GMT -5
Jen... I was diagnosed in August at about 8 weeks along with a B/O. I had an internal ultrasound and was told it was a B/O. I decided to wait for a natural m/c, but during the next 3 weeks I only had light spotting (brown and pink), and some very minor pressure/bloating. I didn't have any cramping at all, and no heavy bleeding. My HCG level's continued to rise making me feel even more pregnant which was very depressing to me. After 3 weeks of still waiting for a natural m/c I called and asked for one more ultrasound before scheduling a D&C. The 2nd U/S confirmed the B/O and I had the surgery on the next day. I was a bit nervous of course, but the entire proceedure was quite easy for me physically. They put me under and in what seemed like 5 seconds I was awake and it was over. Recovery for me was light bleeding for 7 days, and almost no cramping. I slept for 2 days though and just took it easy for the entire next week. I've had some sad moments, but my body has gotten back to normal after just 1 month. I feel like ME again.
No one can tell you which way is best....m/c or D&E or D&C. It's an individual choice. But, for me, this is what happened and I am glad for the way it turned out despite the loss of my pregnancy. I felt a great deal of closure and was able to focus on trying again when my mental state is where it should be after the loss. I wish you the best on whatever you decide. There are so many wonderful people here for you to talk to. They have helped me personally to get through my B/O. I am very sorry you are dealing with this.
Hugs ~ Erin
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Post by lynnd on Sept 19, 2005 19:21:59 GMT -5
I too admit that the waiting is the hardest part. I was told that my due date was March 18th, 2005 but when I went for my ultrasound, they could not find anything. I went for another ultrasound and only the sac was found. I was told that my options were either the D & C or wait two weeks to see if it passed on its own. Well, around the Labor Day holiday I started the painful process of passing and am finally getting over it now. This has been the hardest thing that I have had to go through and understand the sadness that everyone on this site is feeling. My prayers go out to each and everyone here. I had never heard of a blighted ovum and just took a chance to see what I would find on the internet. I am glad I searched because now I know that I am not the only one and there is hope in the future to get pregnant once again.
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Post by kurby68 on Sept 20, 2005 6:43:33 GMT -5
Lynnd
Welcome. I am so sorry for your loss. There are many people that have had bo's and have gone on to have healthy babies. It is a scary and long process. Right now I am 30 1/2 wks and until recently I was not able to relax... Not that I ever am relaxed but I know don't freak out as much. There is a ttc area on this board and a pregnancy are as well.
Good luck and know there are many women that are here and have been through the same things that you have.
Take care
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Post by justinsmomma on Sept 21, 2005 4:55:17 GMT -5
Hi lynnd,
I am so sorry for your loss. I just wanted to welcome you here. We all know your sadness and pain first hand. Some of us have been through it twice and many of us have been blessed with babies after all our struggles. I pray you will be one of those really soon!!!
Big big HUGS and God bless
Kris 2 b/o's 3/00 and 9/03 miracle #1 Justin Tyler born 11/15/01 miracle #2 Jake Nathaniel coming 10/28/05
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Post by andee on Sept 21, 2005 15:31:26 GMT -5
I'm sorry for your loss.I know this is hard for you.The love will always be there.The pain eases with time.
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katiel
Senior Member
Posts: 355
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Post by katiel on Sept 22, 2005 3:37:05 GMT -5
Jenn,
I'm so sorry that you had to find this board. This is all so hard and so many people don't understand. The great thing about this board is that everyone here does understand. We're all here any time that you need us. (((BIG HUGS)))
Katie
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