Joli
Junior Member
Posts: 42
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Post by Joli on Aug 31, 2005 17:55:02 GMT -5
Hello everyone. My name is Joli and I am 34 years old and live in Alabama. I have never been pregnant and after 10 yrs of marriage to my DH decided to stop taking birth control and if I didn't get pregnant within a year, going for help or advise. I stopped taking the pill and AF showed up in April, May and June. I began having symptoms in July and had a positive pregnancy test on July 13th, DH's birthday. I was really excited to get to give him the wonderful news on his birthday. I went and had the home test confirmed and continued with what I believved to be a normal pregnancy. I called to make an appointment with the doctor right away, but for some reason they will not schedule 1st appointment until 10-12 weeks of pregnancy. My first appointment was yesterday, August 30th. I was so excited. When I got there they did all the normal stuff, asked all the questions, like do you want an epidural and at which hospital do you want to deliver. They got my weight. 15 pounds more than what I weighed 2 months before. Refigured my due date, I am 11.4 weeks, due March 19. Then they got the microphone out to hear a heartbeat. Two nurses tried and could not find it. I had made the comment that it could be twins due to twins in both families, so they ordered an ultrasound, trying not to act worried. She began with a regular ultrasound and immediately told me she had to do a VUS. I still had no clue there was a problem. My DH was there with me and wanted to stay for the VUS, even though he had told me he would not if it came to that, hee hee. Before she started the VUS, she turned the monitor where I could not see it and began taking lots of pictures. When she was finished, she explained that I measured 8 weeks and she did not see a baby. She said it was a blighted pregnancy, but told me to let the doctor look at the pictures and talk to me. The doctor explained to me that it was probably chromosomal and the baby was probably not meant to make it. He gave me the choice to wait a week and do another ultrasound or have a D & C. I chose to wait, but he was pretty sure there is no hope. I said I would feel better waiting to be sure. He said it was my choice and whichever would be easiest on me emotionally. I also made comments about the positives, such as at least is was not a baby with no heartbeat or at least I was only 11 weeks before finding out. He told me that I may pass the tissue on my own and cautioned me to go to the ER if it was real heavy. I have never known anyone who went through this, or even heard of it. Everyone knew I was pregnant. I have a great aunt who started making me blankets and has a basket of things for the baby. There is also a girl at work who is pregnant and has the exact same due date. Another who thinks she is pregnant and does not want to keep it if she is. I did not go to work today. I didn't know what to expect because I was spotting after I got home from the doctor, but have decided that it was from the VUS because it was light pink and didn't last long. I have not had any pain or bleeding today. I am trying to decide whether or not to go to work tomorrow. I seem to get really depressed when I get by myself. I was afraid I would start having a miscarriage at work and did not want that. I have not been as strong as I thought I would be and am hoping to feel better very soon. Oh yeah, and the doctor said I should have no problem getting pregnant again in a couple of months after this, which is a little comforting, but not much has been comforting to me today. Hugs to all of you who have experienced this loss. I am so thankful for the internet and to have been able to find you.
Love and Blessings,
Joli
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Post by soc33 on Aug 31, 2005 19:19:17 GMT -5
Joli, I am so sorry you have had to find this site. I will pray your test goes well in a week. The same thing happend to me last week. My due date was to be March 17th. I had a D&C a week ago today. I also waited the week to know for sure it was a BO. That was the longest week of our lives. It helped me to stay busy and keep my mind on other things as much as possible. I am still getting used to the idea and it is hard but the ladies here are wonderful and offer tons of support. I will keep you in my prayers!!!!
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Post by chely on Aug 31, 2005 19:57:50 GMT -5
Joli...I am so sorry. You and I have almost identical stories, all the way down to the twins, which my doctor suspects due to really high hcg levels( I posted my whole story on the story board). Last Tues. was my very exciting 1st appt. when I got the bad news. I too waited until today for another u/s, with no improvement, except that we've been able to rule out a molar. Tomorrow at 9 am I am having my much dreaded d&c at 10 weeks. My due date was March 30. I am also struggling with depression, especially when alone. Take off work if you can, take Family Medical Leave if you have to. I have been in zombie mode, so my productivity is worthless anyway. I am so grateful to have this site which both encourages me and allows me to mourn this loss with other women going through this at the same time that I am. I will be praying for you! ~Chely
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Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 31, 2005 20:02:15 GMT -5
Joli, First I would like to welcome you here. Even though I realize that the circumstances are very upsetting! My BO was in August 2004 and I went in for my routine u/s also having no symptoms or idea that anything was wrong. I also left having never heard of a BO until it happened to me! It is heartbreaking and will take time to get through. You just need to allow yourself to grieve and work through all your emotions! I didn't get a follow up u/s but I did have my HCG levels tested and they confirmed a 4 weeks pregnancy w/ the 1st draw and even less w/ the 2nd. I should have been almost 14 weeks! You will find a lot of wonderful ladies here that are ready to support you or help you in anyway they can! I will be hoping the very best for you for your follow up u/s and I want you to know that I'll be thinking and praying for you! Hang In There!
Take Care!
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Post by vernkatherine on Sept 1, 2005 5:38:22 GMT -5
Joli:
I am so sorry to read what is happening with you. I will pray that next week's appointment is good news. You do have a wonderful support group here. These ladies can answer just about anything....you'd almost think they're doctors!!!!!!! Hang in there & I'll be praying for you!
Katherine
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Post by justinsmomma on Sept 1, 2005 5:46:09 GMT -5
Joli,
I am so so sorry for all you are going through. I have had the unfortunate fate of going through this twice. The second time I was about 11.5 weeks, just as you are. I made the decision to go ahead and have the surgery, because I had a small child at the time and didn't want to have an emergency situation. I dealt with the sadness and depression for weeks and months after...but I relied on websites like this one to help me through. Please know that we are here for you!! Lots of prayers and HUGS.
Kris
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Joli
Junior Member
Posts: 42
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Post by Joli on Sept 2, 2005 9:09:29 GMT -5
First I want to say thank you to all of you for replying to my post. The information was very helpful. I called and requested a HcG test, to be drawn today, and scheduled my follow up u/s and Hcg test for next Friday. I took another pregnancy test yesterday and it was a BFP. That is why I wanted the HcG checked. I have not been cramping or spotting, so I went to work, I was told there would be moderate cramping and I would know if I was going to pass the tissue. Well, I started bleeding this morning, no cramping, yet anyway. It was like a medium period, but has stopped for the time being. I did not have much hope, but was hanging on to a little, which is fading fast. Thank you all for being here for me and I will keep you all posted on what happens in the next few days.
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Post by Heather (hlam) on Sept 2, 2005 12:29:54 GMT -5
Joli, I just wanted to say that I think it's a positive move to get the HCG test! Although I'm surprised they are waiting a week to do the 2nd test! Mine we're checked 48 hours later! Maybe there isn't a standard on that though.....I really don't know! My heart goes out to you and I hope that you get some answers soon! Hang in there!
Take Care!
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Post by youngmommaof4 on Sept 2, 2005 21:12:42 GMT -5
I am not trying to instill false hope or anything but I have a 10 month old son and when he was 5 months old, I found out that I was pregnant. The doctor sent me for an ultrasound and they called me into the doctors office upon getting those pictures back. The doctor said that they saw a fetal sac and no baby and that I had what was a blighted ovum. They said I was 6 weeks pregnant and that they should have been able to see the baby by this time. They said to confirm that indeed I had this they would send me for an HCG test. once now and then in 48 hours. If the pregnancy was still alive than my hormone levels should double after 48 hours. The first results gave a number of 31000. And the second 37000. They only went up 6 thousand so I thought that the baby was dead. The doctor offered me an abortion on 2 occasions and I said I would let it happen on it's own. Every cramp I got I thought was beginning my miscarriage. The doctor phoned me and asked if I had any cramping or bleeding yet and I said no.Again he offered me an abortion. By this time I would have been 8 weeks. I again declined. He rescheduled an ultrasound appointment for me. I was expecting to see a dead baby and I didn't even want my husband to be in the room because I knew how much he wanted this baby. The lady put the thing (I don't know what it's called) on my stomach and she said there's the baby. And I got to hear it's heartbeat. I CRIED!!!!According to their tests my baby should have been dead. But now I am 25 weeks pregnant and due on December 20, 2005 with this baby that they thought was dead. So don't jump the gun and take their word for it that the baby has indeed passed before you agree to an abortion. Otherwise you could make a huge mistake!!! Doctors are not perfect...they do make mistakes! Get a second ultrasound to know for sure.
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Joli
Junior Member
Posts: 42
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Post by Joli on Sept 4, 2005 8:50:20 GMT -5
I wanted to update this thread and let you all know what is going on with me. Like I said earlier, I had a little bleeding on Sept. 2. Just enough to scare me into going home from work. It stopped and I had no pain or bleeding for 48 hrs. Started worrying because I am running out of Vacation time at work. Well, this morning, I am bleeding again like a period, but there is some darker blood (brownish) and tissue mixed also. Sorry for the graphics. This time it seems to be more continuous. I am not hurting yet, but I took tylenol as soon as I noticed the bleeding. I am prepared for some pain later tho. I will keep you guys updated and let you know what they find when they do the follow up u/s. I hope I won't have to have the D&C. You ladies have been great. Reading all your stories and posts have been very helpful.
Hugs to all of you
Joli
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Post by Heather (hlam) on Sept 4, 2005 10:12:14 GMT -5
Good Luck to you! I will be keeping you in my thoughts and my prayers!
Take Care!
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Joli
Junior Member
Posts: 42
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Post by Joli on Sept 6, 2005 11:24:39 GMT -5
I have been bleeding light to medium since Sunday. I called today and was told I could have an u/s tomorrow or go to the hospital today, as my Dr. is on call at the hospital. I have had no cramping and no heavy bleeding. I am going to the hospital in a few minutes and will see what they find. May have to have the d&c after all, but I am missing way too much work and am getting so far behind everyday I am not there. So I will feel better knowing if it passed or having the d&c to be sure. I have been afraid to go to work and begin having bad pain and heavy bleeding because it is about half an hour away and I don't want to be stuck there or have someone take me to hospital from there. So, I am going today. I will keep you updated about how it goes.
Joli
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Post by kurby68 on Sept 6, 2005 18:28:56 GMT -5
Good luck Joli.
I would have thought when I bled that it would have been worse but each person is different. I did have a follow up u/s to see that everything had passed.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
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Joli
Junior Member
Posts: 42
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Post by Joli on Sept 7, 2005 12:11:42 GMT -5
Thanks A Lot for the support. I went to the ER, and sat for three hours waiting for one of the only 2 "pregnancy" rooms to come open. They called my OB and he said for them to do an u/s and call him back. They performed the u/s and said everything was still there, the sac measure 7.6 weeks. It measured 8 weeks last week. They still could not see the fetus. My OB came in and said he could schedule the d&c for today or do it right then. I told him to go ahead and do it if he could as I had not eaten all day anyway. Within the hour I was talking to the anesthesiologist and signing papers. Less than an hour later I was waking up. They kept me for an hour and let me go home. Today I have had some minor pain and spotting, but nothing major as they gave me plenty of pain medicine. I have only taken it once, early this morning, I had a little pain and was afraid it would get severe if I didn't. I should be able to return to work on Friday, Monday at the latest. Thanks again to all of you for being here for me through this very hard time.
Joli
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Post by kurby68 on Sept 7, 2005 15:46:40 GMT -5
Joli
I am so glad that you will have closure but I am sure that you are really upset. If you need anything we are here for you.
(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
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Post by Egirl on Sept 8, 2005 8:56:36 GMT -5
Joli,
I am sorry for what you've had to go through. I know after my D&C I felt better mentally and physically. Took about (4) weeks after the surgery to get AF. Everyone is a bit different in that though. Please know we are here and you're in our thoughts as you begin to heal. Give yourself plenty of time, especially emotionally.
HUGS, HUGS, and more HUGS.... Erin
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