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Post by kurby68 on Aug 3, 2005 6:17:49 GMT -5
Good morning. I have noticed we have had a bunch of new people that have joined. Some that have posted and some that haven't. I just wanted to say welcome and I hope that even though the reason that you have come here is a very sad one that this group will help you heal in many ways.
Take care and (((((hugs))))) to all in need.
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Aug 3, 2005 11:50:52 GMT -5
I know sometimes it's hard to post and that support can come from just reading. We are here if you have questions or if you just want to vent. The amazing group of women here never cease to amaze me.
**hugs** Lin
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Post by andee on Aug 4, 2005 14:05:58 GMT -5
I just joined.I am finding it hard to deal with the pain.Everybody else my husband and the grandparents have moved on and passed it off as oh just one of those things or you can get pregnant again.This happened on May,11 2001.I started to miscarry on my birthday,May 10th. I have gotten better with the depression but the pain won't go away no matter what i do.Does anyone else have this problem?This was my second pregnancy.I have gone on to have 2 more healthy babies since, but The second was not any less special than my other three!
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Post by Heather (hlam) on Aug 4, 2005 16:55:20 GMT -5
Andee, I don't think any of us have forgotten. Everyone needs time to heal and there is no time limit. I would figure most of us will always think about the ones we lost....because they are just as special. Your in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there! Hugs, Heather
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Post by andee on Aug 4, 2005 19:27:12 GMT -5
Thanks, What is hardest for me also is not knowing if it would have been a boy or girl.I feel it was a girl.It happened at either 7 weeks and 4 days or 8 weeks and 4 days.I know I was at 2 months though.Because I don't know what the sex of the baby was.I gave the baby a name, Ashlin Terry.Both names can be for girl or boy. ;D People in my family think I am nuts when i mention Ashlin.Again they want to pretend she/he never existed.I don't want to forget her/him.Every year on the day i miscarried I have a birthday cake.I choose to think of it as a birthday and not the other.It has helped me get through and also it helps my other kids and husband to remember her/him.I don't think that is strange.I don't do presents or anything to that extreme.
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Post by kurby68 on Aug 5, 2005 11:53:23 GMT -5
Welcome Andee. I would like to say that unless someone has been through what we have they cannot understand. Not even a spouse. My dh and I have really debated on this and he has given up because he knows I will NEVER change my mind on this. It is a mom's wound that never really goes away. It does heal but there is always a little part that is raw and can come out in the oddest ways.
There are a lot of great women here and we ALL can understand what you are feeling.
Take care.
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Post by andee on Aug 5, 2005 13:39:00 GMT -5
It is so great to find this site! You don't know how long I have waited to find someone else who has been through it to.It feels great to know I don't have to go through this alone,yet it is sad that it has happened to anyone.Thanks for your support!
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Post by andee on Aug 5, 2005 14:03:11 GMT -5
I was reading peoples posts in the other chat topic and wanted to respond that when I was pregnant with my son I knew I was pregnant.I went in to the doctors office to be tested anyway.She said it came out negative and very condecendingly said what makes you think you are pregnant.I turned out to be pregnant I just tested at the office to early.I hate to how rude the doctors or their staff can be.That was the pregnancy after the m/c. Also, when I was having my m/c I had a doctor look at me,then she left off duty,then I had another doctor look at me and he told me I could still be pregnant after I lost a lot of clots and was still bleeding heavily! Then the nurse told me there was no baby in there and acted like I amde the whole thing up.Then my doctor came in and told me these things happen all the time more than you would think.My husband was in Virginia for military training and they wouldn't let him come down for two weeks!Luckily my Mom was there but she was watching my son.My doctor said he didn't believe all women needed a d&c .He said some doctors think you need one everytime.He prescribed me methergine and a pain killer.I was so relieved.I was terrified of having a d&c.Thank goodness I didn't have one.I feel for people who have had one.I also had a question.When I was pregnant the nurse told me I was pregnant but barely.I said what? She said I had low levels and they would see me in 6 weeks. I was having low back pain that wouldn't go away and just this sense of dread that wouldn't pass.I had a dream that i ahd a baby at the hospital and left the hospital and when I came back she wasn't there.I miscarried not to long after that.Sorry, my question is I saw a greyish blob on one of my clots and wondered could that have been the tiny sac?I believe that was my only evidence of the baby.The nurse just wrapped up the paper it came out on and threw it in the garbage.I was so hurt by that. I don't know what else I coudl ahve done but it still haunts me.In a weird way I wish I could have buried it.I still have this flash of it being thrown in the garbage.I believe it was a blighted ovum and the midwife suggested it may have been due to a chromosomal deffect.Man I feel like ti was my fault why it happened because my husband was getting over a fever when we tried.I didn't expect to get pregnant the first time and I was so happy.I just feel guilt.I didn't get to see it or even hold it or no if it was a boy or girl.I am L.D.S. I believe I will be reunited one day in heaven with my child.It is still hard.
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Post by kurby68 on Aug 5, 2005 15:57:43 GMT -5
Andee I am so sorry. My experience at the ER was very bad as well and the dr told me and my dh... it wasn't like you were really pg... What!!!!!! I had a bfp on a hpt. My dr did a test and my uterus had grown. It took me and my new dr and a lot of patience to get my dh to understand how ignorant the ER staff was. It is so hard when you cannot find anyone that is compassionate and in the medical feild. The dr that I am now seeing is compassionate but she really explains things and she tells you how it is.
Take care
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Post by beth42 on Aug 5, 2005 16:12:59 GMT -5
Hi ,
My name is Beth and I will be 43 next month. I was pregnant for the first time in my life (married 1.5 years) and actually, we weren't even TTC. To tell the truth, I just never thought that a baby was in my cards. Finding out I was pregnant was a shock and a thrill. Last night I started spotting - I was scheduled for my first u/s this coming Monday (at 8 weeks) but went in for an emergency u/s this morning. No embryo - just a sac. I am now scheduled for a D & C on Tuesday. I will get the tissue tested for chromosomal abnormalities.
I've been told that the next time I get PG, there is a 30% chance of m/c mostly because of my age. I've seen alot of women have gone to reproductive endocrinologists after multiple m/c but I don't want to wait too long (given my age and that it takes a minimum of 6 mos each time before you may see if you have a viable PG if you wait 2 cycles to TTC). I would appreciate any opinions on how long to wait or times to try before seeking out a specialist.
Also any supportive stories from women my age who have been successful would be wonderful - the dr I saw today was hardly warm and fuzzy or offering much in the way of positive support.
thanks very much for any help.
Beth
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Post by gobigred on Aug 5, 2005 16:54:37 GMT -5
Beth,
I am so sorry for your loss. I would say that it is best to ask your doctor about seeing a specialist, even if it is your regular family doc. This depends on your relationship with your doctor. The ER doctor I had wasn't the best either. The u/s tech was more sentitive than he was. It is good that you are getting the tissue tested, that alone may tell you something. Let yourself get through the d&c and talk to your doctor, then go from there. If it is something that would make you feel better, I say see a specialist. Best wishes to you and I hope all goes well on Tuesday.
Nancy ((hugs))
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Post by justinsmomma on Aug 5, 2005 17:10:28 GMT -5
Hi Andee,
I am so sorry you are still struggling with your loss. I had two myself, one in March 2000 and one in September 2003. I had a healthy child in between and am currently expecting my 2nd miracle due 10/28/05. The pain really never "goes away" does it? Sometimes the pain intensifies upon the birth of our new babies. Personally I had a very hard time today. I saw a father and daughter crossing the street holding hands and I cried all the way to pick my son up at camp. It's funny that you mention that you are L.D.S. I was born and raised L.D.S. too. I am currently inactive but my family is very strongly tied to the Church and I am a very spiritual person and believe in Jesus to the fullest. I also believe that I will be reunited with my girls in Heaven. You see I am a Mom to boys. My first miracle is a boy and my 2nd miracle coming soon is a boy too. Sometimes I get so caught up in why couldn't I have a daughter Lord? But then I remind myself that my daughters are waiting for me in the next life and if I am patient I will know them and be their Mom in eternity. I literally kept telling myself this afternoon that God is granting me this healthy miracle boy and my beautiful son here on Earth but when we get to Heaven our family will be whole again and I will have my Kallie and my Lexi.
Big big HUGS we all struggle and have sad thoughts from time to time. Just stay faithful and pray when you feel down. I swear by the power of prayer to heal.
Anyway HUGS and welcome. We can all relate to what you are feeling. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Kris
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Post by justinsmomma on Aug 5, 2005 17:14:43 GMT -5
Hi Beth,
I wanted to tell you hello and welcome as well. I am so sorry for your loss. I can only tell you that from my experience going to an RE was life-saving information for my current pregnancy. I strongly recommend it. I went after two losses. You can read my story up above if you want more details but it is truly important to seek help ASAP if you want to have all your cards in a row before TTC again. We all have lots of advice and HUGS to give here. Please ask if you have any questions or need support.
HUGS and God bless
Kris
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Post by andee on Aug 5, 2005 18:11:15 GMT -5
Thanks Kris , I am sorry to hear it happened to you twice.I am trying again.I have had two healthy babies after the m/c and one healthy before it. For some odd reason it has taken me already over a year trying to conceive it never has taken this long before.Do you ever have a personal revelation that there is another one.It has nothing to do with the loss you had.My sister in law asked me if I was trying to fill the hole that my m/c created.She asked me if I ever will be satisfied with what God gave me.I was very offended by that.I've always wanted a large family.I come from a small family.I want 8 kids.I have had two kids after my m/c.So, why would she assume I am trying to fill the hole of the loss? I am still mad about that.She also had a miscarriage along time ago.You would think she could be a little more sympathetic.Also, congratulations on you boy Kris.I have two boys and they are great! I also had a girl again.All my kids have helped me heala lot.I don't sit here and dwell on it everyday that I m/c, but I still think of her.Now that I have found others that have been through it I like to talk with you guys.
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Post by kurby68 on Aug 6, 2005 10:21:33 GMT -5
Welcome Beth. I am so sorry that you have had to find us. I have personally not seen any specialists but we were doing some fertility tests. I was checked for my progesterone and my dh was about to go through sperm analysis and I was to start clomid when I got pg again.
I would talk w/ your dr and see what he/she suggests as a starter and see how your tests w/ the tissue. Good luck on Tuesday.
((((((((hugs))))))))))) Take care
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