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Post by gobigred on Jun 20, 2005 16:15:01 GMT -5
I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum on 6/18 in the ER. I am actually doing ok, except for the cramping and wondering when I will actually miscarry. I don't see my Dr. until tomorrow, but I am hoping he doesn't want to do a D&C. My biggest worry is my age. I am almost 37 and have such a fear of my egg quality and potential birth defects. I laughed off everything they told me at my 1st OB appt. about being over 35 and having a baby. Now I am scared to death! I have 2 boys ages 2 and 4. My 2 year old was born with clubbed feet and I handled that just fine. I just don't know if I could handle a child with a more complicated birth defect. I am fairly sure this BO was just "one of those things", but it really has me worrying....
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Post by kurby68 on Jun 20, 2005 21:08:05 GMT -5
gobigred
I am sorry that you have had to go through this. I understand what you are going through. I have a 16 1/2 yr old and 4 yr old and had a b/o last year. I never took it serious about the age etc... It took us 8 mos ttc and then we had the b/o. I talked to my ob and she explained that over 25% of pg end in m/c. She did say that there are possibilities of birth defects and mature eggs etc but she followed me and I was going to go on clomid in April.
In March I got pg. I am now 17 wks. So far so good if you don't count the stress of being pg after a m/c. I also spotted etc.... Had low progesterone. I did have an u/s at 11 wks and will have another in 1 1/2 wks. So we will see if there are any problems then. The thought of having my baby out weighed the possibility of m/c or other problems.
Oh by the way I am going to be 37 in July so I really understand the age and everything. There are a lot of woman that are on this board that have gone on to have healthy children.
Good l;uck and keep us posted on how you are doing.
Take care
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Post by justinsmomma on Jun 21, 2005 4:41:16 GMT -5
Hello,
I am so sorry for your loss. All of what you are feeling is normal. In time your emotions will straighten out and when you are feeling mentally ready to try again, you will know the time is right.
Chances are the b/o was "just bad luck"...sigh...unfortunately that is what most of us are told when we miscarry. But it is true! A lot of us have gone on to have beautiful healthy children. I am 35 and expecting my 2nd. This is my 2nd pregnancy after a b/o. The first one resulted in my beautiful son. This time, I am a little older, but I opted out of amnio in favor of a nuchal fold scan at 12 weeks and all is well with little boy #2, 22 weeks along now.
Big HUGS! We are here for you!
Kris
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Post by gobigred on Jun 21, 2005 12:26:07 GMT -5
Thanks for the replies. It is amazing the comfort you get from hearing that others have gone on to have healthy children. I never thought I would feel old at 37, but this has truly made me feel old. I am thankful I see my doc this afternoon, as I have not miscarried yet. He's gonna make me cry, I just know it! Thanks again.
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Jun 21, 2005 15:32:55 GMT -5
gobigred, I am so, so sorry about your loss. My kids are pretty young yet and you are a year younger than me. I was 32 when I had the blighted ovum, and went on to have 2 children, one at 33 and one at 35 (I turned 36 three months later). I know that the egg and sperm quality is an issue and that it's scary, but I hope that I'm proof it doesn't seal the deal Both of my kids are fine. I'm so sorry about your son, I hope he doesn't let it get him down . Kids are so resilient, they seem to bounce back and make the best of any situation. {{{hugs}}} Lin
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Post by gobigred on Jun 22, 2005 9:05:08 GMT -5
Just wanted to let you all know I had my f/u with the doctor yesterday, and we will wait through the weekend to see if my body can do this on its own. I have no cramping, so I hope something starts soon. The ultrasound showed that the sac has moved down some since Sat. in the ER. Waiting sucks. I would appreciate any replies from others who waited for it to happen naturally, and how long they waited.
Lindy - thank you for your kind words. My son with the clubbed feet is wonderful! He ended up having surgery and is fine. That is until he broke his femur last Feb. and was in a body cast for 2 mos. We actually concieved this last time while he was in the cast. We figured if we could handle that, then we could have another child. This just doesn't seem to be a good year for us. The great thing about kids, is that my 2 yr. old is happy as could be and is a tough little kid (whom is not allowed to get more than 2 ft. off the ground anymore).
Thanks again to all of you for your help and support.
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Post by reedstephstuff on Jun 22, 2005 15:47:45 GMT -5
GOBIGRED -
I waited, and I regret it.... Some women on here would tell you differently. I was originally diagnosed with a probable B/O at 6 weeks. I went back and forth to U/S appts until 10 weeks. I FINALLY M/C at 12 1/2 weeks. It was not the "heavy period" that my DR described. Be very careful about being by yourself. It could get really bad. PS - My B/O wound up being fetal demise (which makes a big difference). I recommend doing some research on what could happen. Had I not read other women's experiences I would have been a basket case. I lost so much blood that I had my DH place a radio in the bathroom so that I wouldn't have to HEAR the gushing and plopping coming out. I passed out twice and wound up in the ER. Thank GOD my DH and mother were here (1 person for me 1 person for my son). After all that, they removed the fetus during a pelvic exam in the ER.... Gross and NASTY, EXTREMELY painful. Those are words that come to mind. I have heard the opposite from other women, but my opinion is, if the risk of that happening exists, I don't see how drs can send women home to M/C naturally without explaining the possibilities! Good luck to you! I hope my experience doesn't happen to ANYONE else!
Stephanie
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Post by gobigred on Jun 23, 2005 8:44:32 GMT -5
Stephanie:
Thank you for your post. I was wondering if I miscarried yesterday, but was surprised that it didn't hurt more. This is gross, but I touched it and it fell to a clump at the bottom of the toilet. I am still slightly bleeding. After your post, I suspect it hasn't happened yet. I am truly wondering what to expect. What should I be looking for? My doc said "I would know". As my doc is out of town until Monday, I guess I will wait. I really don't want anyone other than him doing anything. Thanks again.
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Post by mdibattista on Jun 23, 2005 8:59:13 GMT -5
gobigred, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like everyone's experience is different. I was 6wks along, so really early, when I started to miscarry. It took 4 days for the process to be over and it really hurt. Not to be graphic but it feels as though you have gone through a mini labor (atleast for me). You know your body and if you think you did, you probably did. I heard you don't always have cramps. I wish you all the luck in the world!!!~ Maria
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Post by gobigred on Jun 23, 2005 11:12:59 GMT -5
mdibattista:
I wish I knew what to expect from my body. I have 2 children, but have never been "in labor". My cervix never dialated with either pregnancy (2 wks. late with both), so I had 2 c-sections. No labor pains - ever. My concern is that my cervix won't let the miscarriage happen either. I should have raised this concern with my doc and I didn't, and now he is on vacation! I suppose I can hang in there until next week. The good thing is I have little pain now, just moderate bleeding. I actually wish I had more pain, then I would know something was happening. Thanks for your post. This board is very helpful.
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Post by kurby68 on Jun 23, 2005 11:55:21 GMT -5
gobigred
I have had csections but have been in labor 2 times. (1st was due to dr being an idiot and 2nd dr that was on call lied and told me my child was in distress. he was afraid of being sued for a vbac) I m/c in July 2004 and for me it felt like early contractions (heavy menstrual cramps) and it lasted a few days I bled a little heavier than af and passed clots about the size of a lg marble. The clots also had gray/pink peices of what looked to be tissue. From the 1st spot until i finished bleeding it was about 6 - 7 days and I had followup for my hcg levels and they went down to <5 and an u/s and everything was clear. My follow up exam was about a wk after I finshed bleeding. Everything was clear and all was well.
For me it was the emotional pain that I had to deal with. I was a definite basket case. I have talked to other friends that have m/c and they range from how mine was to a lot worse. Each person's body is different.
(((((hugs))))) Take care
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Jun 24, 2005 13:29:54 GMT -5
I have two kids and have never been in labor either--but my body miscarried on it's own, well, pretty much. I had a D and C that probably wasn't necessary. The official diagnosis was incomplete miscarriage but when they got in there there wasn't really anything left. I began miscarrying at 11w3d. My first c-section was because my water started leaking 2 weeks before my due date and my son was breach (his little arm was stuck under my rib, he was apparently jammed there pretty good an no way would he have turned around). The second child was after my due date, and they thought she was really large which was an issue due for VBAC. She was 9lbs 4oz and hadn't even entered the birth canal so the doctor said it was a good thing. (Kallie, that's horrible he lied to you about that! Mine was encouraging about VBAC which was my plan) I am SO glad your son is ok I didn't know how much I should ask because I didn't know how fixable the issue was. I'm glad everything turned out so well! As parents we just of course want them to be perfect--not so much as for us but for them so that their life is all it can be. {{{hugs}}} Lin
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Post by gobigred on Jun 24, 2005 16:02:55 GMT -5
Hi all. Today is so horrible. I have a terrible migraine (that at least now I can take meds for), and get to think about "will I miscarry this weekend". I think the headache has me feeling sorry for myself. Plus, my two male boss' having NO clue what it has been like for me to be here at work ALL week. I almost hope I end up with the D&C, just for a day off!
Lindy - I like that you used the word "fixable" re my son. When I would take him to physical therapy, I would see other kids with such terrible disorders that were not "fixable". I would leave there feeling as though I was the luckiest woman in the world. I think I will recall those days and hopefully it will make these days a little bit easier to deal with. We have a lot in common - our age, 2 c-sections, 2 kids, and the blasted BO.
Thanks for everything.
Nancy (gobigred is rather impersonal).
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Jun 26, 2005 13:09:52 GMT -5
{{{{{{{Nancy}}}}}}}}}
You have a good attitude and my gut tells me you are a strong woman who will get through this. What you are enduring now is the worst part. I promise it gets better. One of the bad things about this diagnosis is that the body just seems to keep going for so long (in many cases, not all) before it figures out what has happened. The placenta continues to grow and it fools the body into thinking things are ok.
Once the miscarriage (and for me the D&C) was completed I felt like I had some closure. I was still pretty sad and withdrawn but I started to focus myself on the next step--which for me was ttc as soon as I could. I hope that this group also helps people in that next step, I was posting on ICIID but the board there was so large and kind of disconnected--good for questions but not so good for support.
**hugs** Lin
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Post by gobigred on Jun 27, 2005 11:14:34 GMT -5
Well....... The weekend is over and still nothing! One little something came out and I stopped bleeding for a whole day, so I was hopeful. Then this morning, I started bleeding again. My doc said to call Monday if nothing happened, so I did. His day off - you think he would have known that. Now I am having migraines from hell - 2 in the last 3 days. Spent the whole day in bed yesterday. My 4 yr. old asked my mother-in-law yesterday, "Why did the baby die". She told him that God knew the baby wasn't healthy and God wanted us to be blessed with a perfect baby. His answer was, "ok". I wish my mind worked like a 4 yr. old's. The good news is I have NO cramping. I wonder if I did miscarry and I don't know it, because the bleeding today is very light. You would think I would know it, but who knows??? I think I have complained enough for one day! Nancy
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Lauren
Senior Member
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Post by Lauren on Jun 27, 2005 11:55:35 GMT -5
Hi Nancy,
I had a D & C, so I cannot really offer any great advice, but it seems like you should go in to your doctor and have an ultrasound so they can see if you have miscarried or not. I am sorry that you are having such bad migraines, and hope that you will feel better physically soon. Best wishes, Lauren
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Post by kurby68 on Jun 27, 2005 12:04:44 GMT -5
Nancy
I am so sorry that you do not have closure yet. I can understand this. I went to my dr the following Monday and I was expecting more than what came out. When they did the follow up that was it. I guess it depends on how much our bodies absorb before the m/c starts.
Please keep us posted. (((((((((hugs)))))))))))
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Post by gobigred on Jun 28, 2005 9:30:53 GMT -5
Good Morning. I go in for an ultrasound at 11:30 a.m. I guess I will find out if I had the miscarriage or not. Thanks for the support.
Nancy
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on Jun 28, 2005 9:56:57 GMT -5
Good Luck Nancy. Let us know how it goes.
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Post by kurby68 on Jun 28, 2005 11:41:19 GMT -5
(((((((((hugs))))))))))))) Keep us posted Good luck
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Post by gobigred on Jun 28, 2005 13:26:58 GMT -5
What a complete waste of 10 days! I will have a D&C tomorrow or Wednesday. I suppose I am happy to get if over with! The doc seems to think this will help my headaches in time as well. Thanks again for all of your support! Nancy
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Post by kurby68 on Jun 28, 2005 13:52:20 GMT -5
Nancy
I am so sorry that you still have to have the d&c. I hope that tomorrow goes smoothly.
Take care (((((((hugs))))))
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on Jun 28, 2005 16:05:00 GMT -5
Dear Nancy, Sorry to hear that you still have to have the D & C, but I can tell you that I had one and it really was not bad at all. Good Luck and I will be thinking of you. Lauren
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Post by justinsmomma on Jun 28, 2005 17:30:29 GMT -5
((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Kris
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Post by gobigred on Jul 1, 2005 9:35:21 GMT -5
All went well with the D&C. I am feeling pretty good. Looking forward to a long weekend with my family. We plan to try to conceive again in about 3 mos. Thanks for all of the (((hugs))) and support. This board is wonderful.
Nancy
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micki
Junior Member
Posts: 65
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Post by micki on Jul 1, 2005 12:01:00 GMT -5
Nancy,
I am glad that everything went ok with your D&C and that you are feeling ok. I am thinking of you.
Micki
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Post by kurby68 on Jul 1, 2005 20:50:53 GMT -5
Nancy
I am so glad that the d&c went well. I hope that you enjoy your weekend. Keep us posted on the ttc and we are here if you need us.
Take care
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Post by gobigred on Jul 5, 2005 8:23:17 GMT -5
Hi all. I was wondering what everyones thoughts are about ttc after a D&C. I don't see my doctor until July 13th. How long will I have to wait to ttc? Thanks.
Nancy
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Post by kurby68 on Jul 5, 2005 21:24:51 GMT -5
Nancy
I know that you should make sure that your hcg #'s return to undr 5. Also there is always chance for infection after a d&c or any surgery. I have also read that it is better to wait so the lining in your uterus can be built back up.
I guess I would talk to your dr before making any decisions.
Good luck Take care
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Post by gobigred on Jul 6, 2005 10:42:25 GMT -5
Hi Kallie. I can hardly believe I even asked the ttc question. I am still bleeding and having some discomfort. It has been 7 days since the d & c. The bleeding and discomfort is not too bad, so I figure it is just part of it. Plus, I was very active over the 4th which probably didn't help. I see my doc in a week. Thanks again.
Nancy
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