Post by kurby68 on Jun 14, 2005 13:55:21 GMT -5
I sent an email to Panch and this was her reply.
"I'm sorry that I haven't been around since the miscarriage. This one was different than the last. I didn't have a BO so I felt awkward posting there. A part of me just wanted to forget it never happened. Also, since the time I had my first BO, I have been through so many 'groups' of wonderful ladies who have had the BO and moved on to have a child. It just grows harder and harder with each group. Poor you and I sat on that lonely other ttc board trying for so long. I'm so happy for you, but it saddens me that I should be doing the U/S and I should be hearing heartbeats.
Since the miscarriage.. I have had my ups and downs. The day I threw a bottle through the front window of our house.. definitely a down day. Then DH and I picked out a house.. it's so beautiful.. they've
accepted our offer. I've had dreams of moving on and decorating a house, but there is a part of me that feels like no matter how much furniture is in the house.. it will still be empty with no children.
DH was really sweet after the miscarriage, but we fight more and more these days. He said a month ago that he had thought about leaving me for a long time. Then tonight he tells me he wants a divorce. I don't know if he means it, but he's disappeared and I have no idea
where he is. Our relationship seems to be based on either happy times or we are leaving each other. There is no in between. I hate living in this state of limbo.. I hate waiting to see if I will conceive again.. and I hate living with all this endo pain.. and I don't know how much more I can grieve.
I know.. probably not the letter you were expecting.. I'm just sad. I don't know how to pick myself up somedays. Please just keep me in your prayers. I do hope that you and the others are doing well. If
you want to pass this along, that'd be okay too."
(((HUGS)))
panch"
Everyone say a prayer for Panch. I have a special place in my heart for this woman and this just broke my heart in peices.
Kallie
"I'm sorry that I haven't been around since the miscarriage. This one was different than the last. I didn't have a BO so I felt awkward posting there. A part of me just wanted to forget it never happened. Also, since the time I had my first BO, I have been through so many 'groups' of wonderful ladies who have had the BO and moved on to have a child. It just grows harder and harder with each group. Poor you and I sat on that lonely other ttc board trying for so long. I'm so happy for you, but it saddens me that I should be doing the U/S and I should be hearing heartbeats.
Since the miscarriage.. I have had my ups and downs. The day I threw a bottle through the front window of our house.. definitely a down day. Then DH and I picked out a house.. it's so beautiful.. they've
accepted our offer. I've had dreams of moving on and decorating a house, but there is a part of me that feels like no matter how much furniture is in the house.. it will still be empty with no children.
DH was really sweet after the miscarriage, but we fight more and more these days. He said a month ago that he had thought about leaving me for a long time. Then tonight he tells me he wants a divorce. I don't know if he means it, but he's disappeared and I have no idea
where he is. Our relationship seems to be based on either happy times or we are leaving each other. There is no in between. I hate living in this state of limbo.. I hate waiting to see if I will conceive again.. and I hate living with all this endo pain.. and I don't know how much more I can grieve.
I know.. probably not the letter you were expecting.. I'm just sad. I don't know how to pick myself up somedays. Please just keep me in your prayers. I do hope that you and the others are doing well. If
you want to pass this along, that'd be okay too."
(((HUGS)))
panch"
Everyone say a prayer for Panch. I have a special place in my heart for this woman and this just broke my heart in peices.
Kallie