dawn
New Member
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Post by dawn on May 13, 2005 14:23:52 GMT -5
Hi my name is Dawn, i am 21 years old and I was 13 weeks pregnant, when me and my fiance went to the doctor on Wednesday for our appointment. We were so excited bacause we thought we were going to hear the heartbeat of our little baby. But instead we had to spend 3 hours in the hospital doing ultrasounds and tests trying to figure out what was wrong. We came to find out that I have a blight ovum. I am just in so much shock i don't know what to do. I feel so empty and broken inside. I don't understand why this happen to me. I am so scared to think that if we do get pregnant again, will it happen again. Is there something wrong with me or with my fiance. I need some help, I can't make it through a day without crying.
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on May 13, 2005 15:15:49 GMT -5
Dear Dawn,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know what a terrible time it is for you. The good news is for most people there is very little chance of having this happen again. It does not mean that there is anything wrong with either of you. Did the doctor say if s/he wanted you to wait to miscarry or have a D &C or D & E? If they do a d&c/e then they can do testing to see if they can find out why this happened, but they may not be able to say what happened.
Please know that I know how much pain you are going through right now, and what a terrible shock it is when you go to the ultrasound expecting everything to be fine. It really takes the rug right out from under you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Lauren
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on May 13, 2005 15:33:44 GMT -5
Dawn, I'm so sorry Odds are there isn't anything wrong with you or him, it is most likely a random chromosomal accident. With most people (like me, also my first pregnancy) it won't be repeated. I know it hurts so badly, to have all these dreams suddenly dashed. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}}} It will get better, I promise. I remember being where you are, it felt like the pain would never end--but the truth is that time will start to heal it. We are here if you want to vent of if there is any questions we can help answer.
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Post by kurby68 on May 13, 2005 16:45:50 GMT -5
Dawn
I am so very sorry that you have had to find us. It is suchj a hard time when all you want is your baby. Most likely there is nothing wrong with either one of you. According to my dr 1 in 4 pg in end in m/c. That is a high amount. I had 2 dd's at home when I had my bo. I am now pregnant so as you can see there is no rhyme or reason why. Unfortunately...
If you need anything we are here to answer questions or just listen.
Take care (((((hugs)))))) Kallie
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dawn
New Member
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Post by dawn on May 13, 2005 16:58:30 GMT -5
I just would like to say Thank You so much for all of your advice. It means a lot to me to know that there are other people out there that this has happened too. At first I seriously thought I was the only person that this has happened to. I figured that I did something wrong and that I was never going to have a baby again. But now that I have found this web site I am able to start to realize that it is not just me and that there are other people out there that this has happened to. So thank you so much and I hope we will be able to stay in contact. THANKS SO MUCH
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Post by octoberjen on May 14, 2005 2:20:36 GMT -5
Hi Dawn,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss and the horrible shock that you were presnted with when fiance must be so upset.
I had a BO on Tuesday at 7 weeks. This was a cruel blow for us as it was only after much IVF treatment that we fell pg. We have also had 2 miscarriages beofer both at 17 weeks so I know it hurts to find out this stage in the game that you have lost your baby. Take time to grieve and make sure you spend time with your fiance and only time will help.
Take Care
Jenny me-38 dh-41 dd-4 2 mc both 17 weeks 2003 IVF July 2004 BFN IVF April 2005 - BFP BO - waiting to mc
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 14, 2005 12:14:24 GMT -5
Dawn
What a terrible thing you've had to go through! I am so sorry! I am almost 11 weeks and was told over a period of 4 weeks that my diagnosis was probably a B/O. 13 weeks is a very long time to get used to the idea of baby, not to mention feel the LOVE for baby! ((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))) Do you have any idea what is in store for you now? D&C or natural M/C? The only reason I had any idea about this M/C was because I had a M/C in January. The Dr sent me for early U/S only for that reason. Otherwise, I'd be 11 weeks and happy as a clam waiting for the 1st U/S appointment to come! I've constantly been thinking, had that NOT happened, I'd still be completely unaware of this baby's fate. I've put myself in your shoes over and over during the last few weeks, and can only say how deeply sorry I am for you and your fiance. Chances are there is nothing wrong with you or him... every pregnancy starts with chance and risk. Most women will have a M/C at some point in their lives (a lot of which don't ever know they had one.) My last one, at 5 1/2 weeks, was only known because of my consistant cycles as well as the Amazing ability of early at home P/G tests! As hard as it is to think about right now, all of these things happened, are happening, or will happen to all of us for Good reason. Try to keep positive and keep in mind, you successfully Got pregnant! That is a good thing! Some women can't and a lot of these women can vouch for that. My doctor insists that the getting pregnant is half the battle! Good luck to you and keep us posted!
Stephanie
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Post by justinsmomma on May 14, 2005 17:45:54 GMT -5
Hi Dawn,
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I had my 2nd b/o at almost 12 weeks. I do know the despair you are feeling. Finding out on u/s is a complete shock and sucks the life out of you. After my first loss, it took me a whole year to want to try again. But I put my faith in God, hoped it was just a fluke, and then I was blessed with my son. The 2nd time was even tougher mentally. I can tell you for sure I didn't make it through a day without crying for quite a while. I sought fertility treatment and mental counseling...and I made it through. I did have my son, which made it a lot easier but my heart hurt so, knowing full well the joy of having a child this time around. Hunny we are here for you. Chances are it is just a fluke and like Kallie said, unfortunately 1 in 4 pregnancies end in m/c. Hopefully this was your one and only m/c hun.
Big HUGS,
Kris
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Post by kurby68 on May 19, 2005 17:03:26 GMT -5
Dawn
How are you doing. Just thinking of you.
Take care Kallie
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Post by melissphil815 on May 19, 2005 20:23:08 GMT -5
I also just recently found out that I expereinced a blighted ovum. My oldest son is seven and my youngest son is 13 months. We weren't intending to get pregnant and when we found out through a urine test, we were shocked. My husband is not working and I am a full-time speech pathologist. All we saw were the complications and the concerns about being pregnant again. I was seven weeks along and started spotting. I called the hospital at 10:30 at night and one of the nurses in the OB ward spent a half-hour on the phone crying with me. I knew that something was wrong, but was told that we had to wait, "for the condition to declare itself one way or the other." When I woke up in the morning I was still bleeding and called the hospital again. Again, I was told that there wasn't anything that could be done. Later that day, I went into the hospital and had a regular ultrasound and a vaginal ultrasound. The tech told my husband and me that it would give us some answers. Evidently it was that there was no fetal tissue. So, my doctor wanted to take a cautious approach and we waited. I passed tissue and today I went back into the doctor. She told me that I had a blighted ovum. I was devastated all over again. Because this is the end of the school year I have been very busy and unable to stop during the day to think about the baby. The nights are the worst. With my two previous pregnancies, that was the time that I set aside to talk to the baby and now there is no baby. I feel so guilty. I didn't really want to be pregnant when I found out that I was and just as I got used to the idea, the baby was taken away. I also feel so incredibly weak. I am not by nature typically an emotional person and I feel like I'm crying all the time. This is such a hard thing. My co-workers have told me that this is, "nature's way" and that it's "better this way." How can a loss be a good thing?
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Post by kurby68 on May 19, 2005 20:38:49 GMT -5
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can honestly say that this was one of the most horrible things that I have ever had to deal. I cried so much I actually made my sick. It took me quite awhile to get through a day without crying. It is ok to have all of these feelings.
If you need anything even if it is just to rant or cry on a shoulder we are here.
(((((Hugs))))) Take care
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on May 19, 2005 22:20:05 GMT -5
I don't know why people feel that it is supportive to try to think of positive reasons why a m/c would occur. I remember people telling me it was "for the best". It certainly didn't feel "for the best" to me. I also didn't plan on being pregnant. I was totally freaked out but adjusted pretty quickly only to find that my dreams turned to dust with the first bit of blood and cramping. This is the worst part, I can promise the pain will fade with time. We are here for you if you have questions or just want to talk about what is going on.
{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.
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Post by justinsmomma on May 20, 2005 5:05:27 GMT -5
I just wanted to say a quick hello to the new ladies. I am very sorry you have to be joining us...but glad you found us. I am so sorry for your losses. We all know the horror and sadness that you are experiencing. Having a blighted ovum is just devastating in so many ways...and we are here for you if you need to vent or cry it out.
(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))
Kris
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 20, 2005 14:35:43 GMT -5
Kathy & MellisPhil815 -
So sorry to be meeting like this.... (((((((HUG)))))))) It's such a painful and for me a very shocking process to be diagnosed with a B/O! "What do you mean, there's NOTHING there!? The pregnancy test has a dark blue + sign! I'm sick as a dog! I've gone this far after my 1st M/C back in January and there's NOTHING there!?" How does this happen? Why did it happen to me? All the pain, saddness, and anger can be overwhelming at times. Then there's other peoples' versions of support. Honestly, other than the women here and on other message boards, no one I've come across in my personal life can be anywhere near the support system that this has been for me! Not even the DH.... Again, so sorry for your loss! Stephanie
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Post by kkgg on May 23, 2005 13:14:52 GMT -5
Hi Dawn, just like you, I had no idea that anything was wrong and did not find out until 11.5 weeks. It is the most devastating news that I have ever received. I felt like such a failure. I just had a d&c done on May 19th and I am starting to heal physically. I'm not sure how long it will take to start feeling better emotionally, but this web site has helped my so much. I didn't know anyone who had gone through something like this personally until I met the people on this site. I feel like I can share things with them that I can't share with anyone else. I hope that you can find the same comfort that I have found here and if you ever need to talk, we are all here for you.
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