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Post by reedstephstuff on May 10, 2005 18:13:03 GMT -5
Before I start, I just want to thank everyone for being so nice and supportive. I wished I had found you all 3 weeks ago when this B/O started, or better yet 5 months ago when my last P/G M/C.... Anyways, you guys are all awesome, and although I hate to hear the pain everyone has or is going through, it helps to hear that I'm not alone!
Today was not unlike any other day of tests & U/S, lots of questions & NO ANSWERS. Lab work came back. Friday my hcg was at 45000, Monday it only went up to 50000. So, I realize something is wrong. I should be 10 w 2 d according to my last cycle. Also had an U/S today, the tech had to bring the radiologist in charge of the office into the room to help her figure out what was going on/ what she was looking at.
1st of all, because of my VERY long, straight up and down uterus and where the egg implanted, transvag does no good. She can't get close enough to get a good image. Abdominal she can get an image but it's not that good either. Anyways, there's a sac, very difined with double walls, measuring 8w +/- 7 days. No sign of collapse. A definite yolk sac, but nothing else, EXCEPT when moving the device back & forth with a great deal of pressure, there's definitely SOMETHING there. It's faint, but she and the radiologist kept asking, what is that? HELLO!! I'm right here! If you all don't know, who the heck does!?
I realize at 10 weeks there should be a definite image of fetus & heartbeat. I assume what they are seeing is what remains of the embryo that started to develop.
A nurse from the dr's office called and gave me the hcg results, but also said the dr would be looking over the U/S as well as the bloodwork and they would call me back this afternoon. Well, guess what! No CALL!
So, my roller-coaster ride continues! At this point, I would almost welcome the cramping and bleeding, at least then my body would have given me an answer one way or another!
Sorry for the lengthy and almost MEAN hearted post, but I do feel better having typed it.
Hugs & Smiles!
Stephanie
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Post by kurby68 on May 10, 2005 20:34:07 GMT -5
Stephanie
Whatever you are feeling is ok. You are allowed to have emotions. You are angry and hurting and do not know what to think. I am very sorry that you are not getting any answers and that has got to be frustrating.
Please keep us posted.
Take care
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on May 10, 2005 20:51:06 GMT -5
Stephanie
Gosh, I don't think your post was mean at all:
THIS I can relate to. I started to m/c at 11w3d and went to the E/R on a Sunday morning. They mentioned "probably" a blighted ovum to me. I was told to call my OBGYN right away on Monday. Well, I'm flipping out, I called right away and was told the Dr. would call me back. I call them back on Tuesday afternoon, the nurse wasn't very nice and couldn't remember who the heck I was. She called me back later that day with an appointment for FRIDAY to see the Dr. I'm a mess, no closure in site for me. When I go in there is no talk of a blighted ovum or even what might have caused me to loose the baby. I ask about a blighted ovum and the Dr. was snotty and said they had already explained it to me in the E/R. I wasn't aware that the ultrasound tech mentioning the word was an explanation. I'm convinced that so many of these Dr.'s and nurses that work for them just forget or don't get how truly devastating this is for us and that information is the ony thing that starts to heal the wounds.
I'm so sorry they are having such a hard time reading the ultrasound. I would definately ask about testing if things are as it seems, if there is something there it sounds like it might not be a blighted ovum. I might be wrong, but it's always been my understanding that it would be gone by 7 weeks and would have been absorbed back into the body. If there is something there for them to test I would imagine this might help them come to a conclusion why this has happened to you again. There is a good chance there might be a way to stop it again if they can discover the cause. Lauren here is a good example of hope, they discovered the cause and now she is pregnant and things look really good for her.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} They need to give you some answers, and fast. The sitting around and waiting isn't necessary. I'm so sorry, keep us posted.
Lin
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 10, 2005 21:30:47 GMT -5
Linn & Kallie
Hey! Thanks ladies! I know it's not uncommon to get the runaround, and I am finding through this message board that more often than not that this is the case.... It doesn't mean that we have to like it, but why does it seem like we all feel like we have to take it? Regardless of how all of this is making me feel, I can't say enough how much better having this outlet has made me feel!
((((((((((((((((GREAT BIG HUG))))))))))))))))))))
Steph
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Post by justinsmomma on May 11, 2005 5:04:37 GMT -5
Wow I can't believe that you are still having to go through all this bull****. I really feel for you sweetie. Wouldn't the u/s monitor at least be able to detect a HB, even if you can't see it? Good gracious, I can't believe you don't have an answer by now. I hope you hear from the Dr. today hun.
The biggest HUGS sweetie you can be as angry as you want here. We understand.
Kris
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 11, 2005 8:11:51 GMT -5
Well, that's the thing, even if my dates are that far off, which I don't think they are. Absolutely, a HB should be detected. So, it's obvious that the end is coming, it's just a matter of when. I'm very curious about the echo the radiologist saw on the U/S. If there's something there that wouldn't be a B/O, would it? I'm also beginning to have major fears of the anticipated M/C as well as the D&C. I know the D&C is probably necessary, especially since there is something in the sac, but I'm not sure what to expect. I guess it's also important that they examine the something.... I had a C-Section with my son, so a minor procedure such as that shouldn't scare me, but admittedly it does. Is it painful? How long before I will feel physically normal again? On the other hand, how much better can the possiblity of passing embryonic matter be? I'm thinking the latter will be more traumatic.... Still anxiously awaiting a phone call. Maybe I'll hear somtehing this morning.
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Post by tamaramoser76 on May 11, 2005 9:38:12 GMT -5
I found you dear I have been so wanting to know now things went yesterday I see you still no very little and are fearing a D&C WELL I have this to say about a D&C I just had one this past friday NOT even a week ago and I was a little on edge about it as well but it was a peace of cake . I was so glad to just have it OVER CLOSURE was a good thing but I didnt have that till Saturday after they tested the tissue they were afraid for some reason it was still maybe an Etopic PG BUT THANK GOD I got the phone call saturday saying YES there was something like human cronic tissue in what they removed so it was for sure in my uterus and a B-O Mc but like I said I had CLOSURE I was so glad to have gotten that phone call and have this god awufull week and some behind me . I'm still praying that there is NO need for any of this dear so dont give up!!! Maybe your #s stoped going up so much because you are getting to the end of the 1st Trimester I read that your Beta #s can do that at the end they stop doubling so ask about that to when and if the Dr. calls K. I will be praying for you XOXOX Keep us all posted dear...
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 11, 2005 10:43:07 GMT -5
Tamara,
Thanks sweety! (((((((hug))))))) I've read the same about the hcg levels towards the end of the 1st tri as well. I know now that as difficult as it may be to go through that a D&C is probably best for me. I'm so sorry for what you've just gone through, but I also imagine the closure must feel much better. It's such a confusing time between the last bit of hope and trying to prepare for the worst.... If this is what I suspect, an inevitable M/C, I look forward to the finale and a nice big bottle of wine to calm my nerves. How are you feeling, by the way? Was it at all painful during or after? Much bleeding? I of coarse would ask my dr these questions, if she'd call me back. Although at this point, I'm not sure if I can actually trust what she is going to tell me, at least not as much as I've been able to trust this group of women!
(((((((((((((one more great big hug)))))))))))))) Steph
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Post by tamaramoser76 on May 11, 2005 13:33:16 GMT -5
Steph I had no pain any time after my D&C ;D i HOWEVER HAVE BEEN CONSTIPATED but this is something I was suffering with while I was PG also but was a little worse after my D&C . As far as the bleeding before and after the D&C I had none any time before and I had not even a close to a full pad within the day of my surgery. Now every day since I have not needed a pad or anything I have had bloody CM that I notice when I check my CP and CM but thats about it. I also enjoyed a glass or two of WINE over the weekend thats been the only + of the MC with summer coming on and all the summer partys. ok well gots to run stay POSITIVE ;D it can go a long way .
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Lauren
Senior Member
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Post by Lauren on May 11, 2005 15:41:58 GMT -5
Dear Steph, I am so sorry that you are getting the run around from your doctors. I do not understand that at all. It drives me crazy.
I wanted to let you know that I had a D&c and it was not painful at all. I had a little bit of mild cramping a few days after, and some bleeding (especially when I would lift heavy things or over do it), but otherwise I have to say that was one of the more positive experiences of my BO.
Good luck with everything and I hope you get some answers soon.
Tamara, I am glad to hear that you are feeling a little better and that they found out that it was not an ectopic pregnancy.
Lauren
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 11, 2005 19:10:32 GMT -5
Well, I finally got the call at 4:55pm today. As I suspected, the dr is fairly certain I will M/C soon. Although, the 2 previous B/O predictions are wrong. Seeing as how the last U/S did show something inside the sac, it is now a ersult of "fetal demise". No talk of a D&C this week though. Because of the something inside the sac, there is no way to be 100% sure of the diagnosis and she wants to see what happens naturally in the next week. If I don't M/C by then, I can either go for more beta blood work & another U/S or just go ahead and schedule a D&C. So, I do have answers, although they may not be as thorough as I had hoped. Now, it's just a waiting game. Reminds me of when I was anticipating the birth of my son.... When will it happen, where, and what will it be like. That's my story and until it unfolds further I really have no more info than my last posts. Thanks again for all the support. I am going to keep this short though as I am emotionally drained and hope to actually get some sleep tonight. ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) You all are awesome! It's been great to have this support system behind me all the way. I'm not going anywhere though. More to come!
Stephanie
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Post by kurby68 on May 11, 2005 19:46:30 GMT -5
Stephanie
i am glad that they finally called but wish they would have had more info for you. Make sure to get some rest and keep us posted.
Take care Kallie
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on May 11, 2005 19:57:53 GMT -5
Dear Stephanie, I am sorry that you are going through all of this, and agree that teh waiting is one of the hardest things in this whole process..... waiting to miscarry, waiting to be able to get pregnant again, waiting to make sure every thing goes differently the next time. I have certainly learned patience through this process, and it does not come naturally to me.
You are in my thoughts and I hope that things go as best as they can for you. Lauren
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Post by justinsmomma on May 12, 2005 4:54:53 GMT -5
Stephanie,
I am so so sorry you have to wait another week. Just a thought, if there is "fetal matter" (Sorry I hate using that word to describe a baby) wouldn't they do a D&E? (its a vacuum procedure vs. a scraping) They had to do that with both of my miscarriages. It is also helpful in obtaining samples if you want to have them tested for chromosomal abnormalities.
This just stinks. With my 2nd m/c they said that my baby most likely survived to 7.5 weeks but by the time I had my u/s at 11.5 there was no remains, just a sac. So I will never know for sure if it was a b/o or not. :0(
HUGS!
Kris
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 12, 2005 7:20:29 GMT -5
I just assumed she's want to schedule a D&C too.... This dr tends to be a bit less invasive, which in a lot of ways I like. She assured me that if the pain of the natural M/C was extreme or if the matter passed was too upsetting that she would do the D&C. Also, of coarse she wants to moitor my beta hcg levels after I M/C as well as do another U/S to be sure there's nothing remaining. I'm okay with M/C naturally, I guess. Of coarse, if I don't within the next week we'll go ahead with the D&C then. It sucks, I admit it, BUT I slept like a baby last night knowing that my constant battle between fear, hope, and anticipation was OVER! Maybe not the outcome I was hoping for, not even close, but OVER! I put my toddler to bed, had a glass of wine with my DH, and headed straight for bed. I haven't slept in past 7am since he was born! My DH got him out of bed this morning, fed him breakfast, and let me relax. If nothing else, this experience had allowed me to enjoy the Mother's Day experience a little bit longer LOL. Well, I hope everyone is feeling good today, not too much morning sickness I hope! I keep telling myself over and over, That which does not kill me only makes me stronger. Now 2 M/C later, since January, I should be able to take on the world! One step at a time though.... For now I just need to go take on my son & his omlet, which has been dumped all over the kitchen floor. ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) You all are the best! Now, rather than focusing on myself so much, I can be more supportive for the rest of you.... That is of coarse until I need M/C advise. It's always something isn't it!? Ciao for now!
Steph
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Post by kurby68 on May 12, 2005 8:15:37 GMT -5
Steph
I am glad that you rested that does help. I found out about my b/o after I started spotting. I think that I didn't sleep for 4 days. I should have had some wine and maybe that would have helped. But at the time I was in such denial that in my mind I was pg and couldn't drink. I can say that is the lowest I have ever felt.
I can say that through the turmoil it brought dh & I a lot closer. And I am now almost 12wks pg again. My dh is a different man since the bo. We have had a trying year and he has learned that we both need to be there four eachother's kids and we have learned that we sometimes need to pick up the slack for the housework etc... It has been a very long 10 months since the bo but in some ways a lot of good has come out of it. And you are correct that this does make you stronger. (I think that we'd all like to be weaker rather than go through this.)
I hope that if this ends soon for you so that you can move on & greaive. Ive you need anything please let us know.
Take care (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 17, 2005 8:03:58 GMT -5
Hey there, Ladies! Sorry I haven't been around for a couple days, been busy playing with the family all weekend, trying to keep my mind off of this whole mess.... You know, it's funny now everytime I go to pack my son's diaper bag I pac pads and a change of clothes for myself (just incase "IT" happens, as if I've become a baby as well. I'm waiting waiting waiting for this natural M/C and so far no signs of it. I'm supposed to contact my doctor this week if it doesn't come. At this point, I think it's just the fear of going in for the D&C. I know it's silly, but I can't help it. I also realize this waiting for the unknown M/C is probably more hurtful to myself than the D&C anyways. So I should just suck it up and call to schedule? I should be 11 1/2 weeks now. Should I just wait a bit longer? Just venting a bit, but also looking for some advise. There's also that part of me who wonders, what if.... If I do go to schedule it, should I request an U/S beforehand? Will they automatically want to do one before? So many questions, I know. You guys are my only source of real life "experience" and have been such a great help so far. At this point I have no where else to turn, I think the people around me are sick of hearing about it. My friends just act shocked, "You mean you haven't started bleeding YET!? What are you going to do?" I guess they assume it's all over with and it makes them uncomfortable to talk about it, as if I'm glass and I'm going to break. Well, that's enough for now. I have my son and a job to deal with. I'll be back later. Thanks so much, ladies!
Stephanie
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on May 17, 2005 8:09:28 GMT -5
When I went for my D & E they did offer me an ultrasound before they did the procedure. I am sure that you could request one.... just to be sure. I know that hearing all of these miraculous stories makes me worry what if I did my D & E too soon, but at that point I had to trust my doctor and for me I needed it to be over. I would call your doctor and discuss it. Certainly by 11 1/2 weeks they should be able to tell for sure if there is an embryo.
Good Luck. Lauren
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 17, 2005 11:44:30 GMT -5
Well, I just spoke with my doctor who is referring me to another doctor in the same group for another opinion.... She said she wanted to discuss my case history with him and between the 2 come up with the best scenerio for the next step. She said she wants to discuss the D&E as well as D&C. Whether or not another U/S would be helpful.... I guess she also wants to see if he thinks there might be something more to my situation having M/C back in January as well. She said he specializes more in the fertillity side of ob so his expertise would be beneficial to me. I'm actually VERY impressed that she's going to such lengths to make sure the final outcome is the best one. Especially since I went through all the run around crap over a 4 week time period.... Well, that's my update for the day. Thursday 2:45pm, I should know what to expect, unless of coarse I M/C between now and then.... Stephanie
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Post by kurby68 on May 17, 2005 11:54:04 GMT -5
Stephanie
I hope that this dr gives you the peace and security and answers that you are looking for. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Take care Kallie
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Post by kurby68 on May 19, 2005 17:07:09 GMT -5
Steph
How did your dr appt go today?
Take care Kallie
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