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Post by tamaramoser76 on May 9, 2005 14:01:46 GMT -5
Hello ladys I'm a new member here and have just suffered from my first BO MC I had a D&C on friday and go back to my Dr. the 20th of May and will ask more then but wanting to know what all you were told as when it is safe to TTC again I was 8 weeks when I had my D&C ? We had been TTC#2 for just over 2 years and had had my tubes cleaned out the cycle of my BFP so this was very upseting to have it be a BO MC what rotten LUCK !!!
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on May 9, 2005 15:02:41 GMT -5
First, I am so sorry for your loss I was told I could try after having 3 periods following my D and C. There needs to be time for the lining of the uterus to build back up so that it is better prepared to sustain a new pregnancy. {{{{hugs}}}} Lin
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on May 9, 2005 15:37:46 GMT -5
I am very sorry for your loss. I too had my bo after ttc for over a year, which made it even more difficult for me to deal with.
I had a d&e, which is no scraping, but I was told that I could start ttc after just one period. Your doctor will be able to tell you what s/he thinks is best, but they told me that often women get pregnant right after a d&c.
Good luck. Lauren
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Post by kurby68 on May 9, 2005 17:04:04 GMT -5
Welcome and I am so sorry for your need to be here. I m/c naturally and started ttc after 1 cycle, but from reading I see most dr's say after 3 cycles.
Take care
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Post by justinsmomma on May 10, 2005 5:15:39 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss hunny. I am sure the Dr. will give you info on when it is safe to try again. But I do believe it is 3 mos for a D&C. You want to be sure that your uterus is healed up so the baby can implant properly.
((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) did you have any other fertility care? Infertility Dr.'s are great at monitoring you when you are newly pregnant. It will give you piece of mind next time around.
HUGS again
Kris
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Post by tamaramoser76 on May 10, 2005 6:40:08 GMT -5
Thanks girls for the info on when it was safe to TTC again . What stinks is thats what I was afraid you would say after 2 years I just want to have that finall H-H 9months as all of you want I'm sure So ok another question here so when will I get AF I asked the Dr. after my D&C and he said well when did it come after Logan and its hard to say because I Breast fead him for 6 months . So he said he would guess 6 weeks and that I would O before I even had a AF So I was wanting to know what all of you experienced in your MC or BO MC . I also have read that it is very common that women get PG ASAP after a MC . I hope thats true here I was so ready to finish my family and to stop the stress of TTC and worrying that I missed my O
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Post by kurby68 on May 10, 2005 6:44:58 GMT -5
Af for me came at about 4 weeks. I m/c naturally. I o'd about the same time I normally do and I know this because i had an u/s to make sure everything had cleared from the m/c and my dr told me that I was going to o the next day.
If I remember right I think almost everything I read said 4 - 6 weeks after m/c or D&C.
Take care. If you need anything let us know.
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on May 10, 2005 7:33:36 GMT -5
I had a D&E, and AF came a little over 4 weeks after that for me, but it was not really a very normal period. By the next month it had become more regular. Good luck with everything.
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 10, 2005 9:05:04 GMT -5
((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) I'll know better today what I think about this subject. I M/C naturally back in January and got P/G again in March. My Progesterone levels are up (which is a necessity in 1st trimester) which are commonly low after a M/C. There are medical remedies to help your levels stay up (vaginal suppository). My Dr advised to wait 2-3 regular cycles before TTC. I waited for 1 and will find out today whether or not this one is a B/O. Obviously, if it is, I'd say wait at least 3-4. I don't know that the physical reasons are as important to me as the emotional distress of 2 M/C in a row; however, it does make me wonder if perhaps waiting a bit longer could have avoided this. I was so gung ho trying to time the age difference between my son (18 months) and my next child that I just didn't care at the time. I'm a Taurus though and patience is NOT my strong suit, not to mention the bullish mentality of what do they know (dr's). I'm learning a slew of life lessons, which is not a bad thing. Regardless, I feel very strongly that everything happens for GOOD reason, including M/C. I would much rather M/C a "something wrong" that go full term with it. It may sound horrible to say, but it's how I feel.
Stephanie
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Post by tamaramoser76 on May 10, 2005 9:54:06 GMT -5
TEXStephanie T I just so relate to you and what your saying . I to am so glad that my body stoped my last PG then to have a un healthy baby and to I am a strong beliver that GOD has a plan for all of us and there is a reason for everything he does in our lives. I just pary that your PG this time is a Happy Healthy baby and PG for you dear. That also would give me and all of us SUCH hope!!!! Please keep us posted with your results today I dont know where to look for your results so if you could PLEASE drop me a line back here and let me know I will be PRAYING for you and your family.
I dont want to put off another DC either we started TTC#2 when our DS Logan was 2 1/2 back in 3/03 what a LONG time ago that was. Who would have EVER thaught that it would take this LONG!!!1 I was so sure it would happen ASAP that I started un packing my PG clothes and getting baby stuff ready little did I KNOW LOL!!!! I just keep thinking in GODS time and this just must NOT bee our time and his plan just yet for us .I must sound like a holly roller but I'm really not I have just learned in the past 2 years that we dont really have control of this its all up to him ..
OK gots to go take care all and Stephanie please keep me posted!!!
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on May 10, 2005 21:51:28 GMT -5
I can't remember how long it took for me to finally get AF after the D and C. I was thinking 6 weeks but it might have ben 4. I did have something scary happen that makes me want to encourage definately waiting for AF to happen 3 times before trying.
I bled for a long time for my first period following. Not normal for me, normal for me (then, not after 2 kids unfortunately) was very light, pretty much for 1 1/2 days only and I could wear a light days pad and nothing more. Well, it was pretty heavy and lasted 7 or 8 days. I don't remember for sure what the second one was like, I think light. We decided to start trying again then, jump the gun by a month. Well, after that I had my period for 7 days, heavy. It stopped, on the 10th day it started again, with clots and severe severe cramps--I've always had cramps but these did not seem normal. That went on for another 4 days. We went to the walk in clinic, thinking maybe I had gotten pregnant and had miscarried again (I was flipping out). I got a horrible lecture about how awful it was I started trying earlier than I should have (making me cry, since I thought I'd just had a second m/c and what was done was done, big jerk of a doctor). After they did testing it turned out I didn't have a second miscarriage, there was apparently some left over "by-product" (how awful is that statement) from my D and C. Anyway, I got a full lecture on letting the lining of my uterus build back up so that there is enough there to support the pregnancy.
On the bright side, we did start trying following the third AF, and we got pregnant that same month. Liam will be 4 in September.
I know the waiting sucks, no nice way to skirt the issue. This part seems to take forever, to get to the point where it is safe to try again. {{{{hugs}}}}
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Post by pinkie on May 29, 2005 19:52:03 GMT -5
Hi,
I am new to the site and wanted to share my experience because this post really hit home. I had a miscarriage October 2004. I was 5 1/2 weeks. I m/c naturally. My doctor told me to wait a month and we could try again. We were ready to try again quickly and thought the first m/c was just bad luck.
I got p/g again after waiting one cycle in December 2004. In mid January, I thought I was 10 weeks along and started to bleed. Sure enough it was a b/o that stopped growing at 6 1/2 weeks. I had to have a D&C that time.
In hindsight, I now wished I waited a few more months before trying again because it does make sense that the uterus has to get healthy again.
We are feeling like we might be ready to try again but I am really scared and hestitant.
I just know from my 2 m/c and the surrounding circumstances that patience might be a virtue to give yourself some healing time.
Amy
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on May 29, 2005 23:42:13 GMT -5
Pinkie, welcome, I'm so sorry you have had to go through two m/c.
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Post by kurby68 on May 30, 2005 15:09:09 GMT -5
Amy
Welcome. I am so sorry that you had to go to two losses. 1 is hard enough... If you have any questions or concerns about ttc again. There are a lot of us that have been there. We are here for you.
Take care
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Post by pinkie on May 30, 2005 21:39:48 GMT -5
Hi All, I wanted to say thanks for the kind words of support. It is really comforting hear from others who have been through this terrible experience and truly know the emotions that result. I wanted to add that my DH and I have one daughter, Alyssa who is 2. She was easily conceived and no problems during pregnancy. It was a real suprise to us after the first miscarriage because it wasn't even something that occurred to us that could happen after having such an easy time with Alyssa. After the second mc, we have been very put off the whole thing yet love being parents and want Alyssa to have a sibling. I know I am getting physically stronger yet some days I feel I am backsliding emotionally. June 1 was the due date of my first mc baby. I think that is why it is hitting me so hard. Also on June 3, I am flying to see my cousin who just had her first baby. While I am thrilled for her, I am worried how I will feel spending the weekend with a newborn and hope this won't be detrimental to my healing. I know I can't avoid babies forever though. I am glad to have found this forum to be able to express my emotions Take care, Amy
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Post by kurby68 on May 31, 2005 6:52:58 GMT -5
Amy
I will tell you that I too have children and had never had a problem until the bo. As far as seeing a baby... It can be very very difficult even if you know the people are great people that are more deserving etc... I cannot promse you what you will feel. As far as going backwards in the healing process... I feel that you are always moving forward. Anger and fear are part of the healing. You are bound to feel so many emotions and it is ok to feel them. We are all human.
I remember the 1st time I saw my friends granddaughter that was due about the same time I was due. 1st when I heard about her I kept thinking. These 2 are young, unmarried and cannot support themselves much less a baby and they had one and mine was taken away. Then when I saw her picture that they emailed me I was like she is cute... and that was it. Well they moved here and they had nothing. The kids parents paid for them to get married and to move here. They had nothing. Well the grandma has been my friend forever and she called every day long distance to check on me for a month after the m/c so I thought that in the same position she would help me. So I went into the basement and went through my baby stuff. I found several things that would be ok seeing that they were coming from Florida and we are in Wisconsin. So I got 2 large bags of stuff and brought it to them. I still couldn't hold her. Then Easter and several other times I was always so busy and by the time I thought I could hold the baby they were on the way home. I recently held her and I didn't really feel anything towards this baby. I usually gush all over the babies. I embarass my family... LOL I have held other babies and I used to take care of the dad of the baby but I just feel nothing towards her. I feel really bad because of it too. Maybe someday....
I do not feel and bad feelings towards anyone and I really feel like I have dealt with everything. But it was a hard long journey. I really had a hard time on the date I was due. At least when I 1st woke up after that I was ok. I still have the anniversary date of my m/c and we will see how that will go.
Sorry to turn this into a novel... Just remember that when you need to rant cra etc we are here. If you have any ?'s we are here for that.
Take care Kallie
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 31, 2005 19:19:24 GMT -5
Amy (pinkie) - It amazes me how similar, yet different all these stories are to me and my situation. I too have a 19 month old (almost 2), my 1st pregnancy (as far as I know). The doctor wasn't too concerned about my 2 M/C this year as I did have a healthy baby within the last 2 years. I M/C at 5 1/2 weeks in January and JUST M/C again this past Wednesday at 12 weeks. I agree that patience is very important. I feel like I'm to blame for not waiting after the January M/C. My DH and I have discussed this over and over and both believe that if it's meant to be, it will be. He says both M/C were coinsidental, doc does too.... I suppose they could both be right. It just wasn't the right time. None of these explanations make dealing with the M/C any easier, obviously. I am so sorry for your loss! Regardless, you've come to the right place for support and life experience! These last couple months have been hell, but thanks to this board and the ability to share information and stories has been a blessing! Good luck to you and the hope of your growing family! Steph
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Post by jenniferlynn on Jun 2, 2005 5:39:40 GMT -5
I am sorry to hear about the bad luck, we are all here to support you. I had a MC in December and a BO in March, my husband and I decided to wait 2 cycles before we try again. It is hard to tell you when a good time is to try again. That is up to how you feel emotionally and phycially. You have to be ready, my doc told me wait one cycle and go for it, but we decided maybe we will have better luck this time waiting two cycles (we only waited one after MC in Dec.). There is no garentee it will be for keeps, but have faith and keep your head up.
Jenny
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Post by pinkie on Jun 2, 2005 9:46:30 GMT -5
Hi All,
Thanks for the words of support. Since my D&C was in January, I just noticed with my last period that it seemed more normal (less clots) and I am hoping that this trend will continue for a few more cycles and then maybe we will try again after the summer. I defintely want to take this summer to continue getting stronger on all levels. I am slowing beginning to feel normal again but I am still gripped with fear that I will MC again. I do know I am a fighter and determined, so I feel hopeful we will be blessed with a second child sometime in the future.
Take care,
Amy
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Jun 7, 2005 14:06:06 GMT -5
It is scary to ttc again, and it's scary when you get pregnant. I wish that wasn't the case, that a person could just put behind them the loss and continue on without fear. The truth is that the loss forever scars a person to a certain degree. The fear is greater after that--but the odds after one loss are still in your favor. The odds are that there won't be a second loss, however it sticks in your mind and it's something that you can't shake until that moment in time you hear the heart beat and can make it to the second trimester--and even then for me it was still scary.
This is in part why I have tried to stay active here and keep my website up. I remember with clarity how I felt when it reached the point in my two following pregnancies that we went to hear the heartbeat. My husband couldn't go with me to the appointment for my second pregnancy and so my best friend went with me for support. When they found that heartbeat I just started sobbing to the point my friend cried with me. I had been living in a bubble where I didn't want to let the pain reach me again. Everything was ok though, and when they couldn't find the heartbeat with my daughter they hooked me up to an ultrasound machine to alleviate the stress that hit me at that moment and there was her heartbeat. Liam is now 3 1/2 and Kinsey will be 2 in two weeks.
The fear is a horrible thing, but it really is worth it in the end. I promise. I know that even if I'd had another loss I would have kept trying. For me the defining moment was when I realized that without the loss of my first child my son wouldn't exist. For timing reasons probably my daughter also. I wouldn't trade them for anything, and it isn't that I wouldn't have loved my first one just as much--but for me the pain I felt was worth it all in the end.
I'm glad you all aren't giving up. Children are a wonderful blessing, and look at what those of us here like Lauren, Kallie and Kris--they have been through really tough times and because they wanted it they kept at it and they have heard the heartbeats and are doing well. I hope that for those of you that are going to go on and try again that this gives you hope and maybe alleviates some of the fear. As horrible as this is, there really is hope.
{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} Lin
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Post by justinsmomma on Jun 11, 2005 6:25:29 GMT -5
I just want to add that for me, it was like a lightbulb went off in my head when we decided to try again. Both times it was about a full year after my m/c. With my son I got pregnant a year to the day after my D&E. The second time around wasn't so easy, I had decided to see an infertility specialist/reproductive endocrinologist to find out "why"...and was told that I needed to be on injectible blood thinners to maintain my pregnancy and that I would be "high risk"...so that took a few mos. of extra consideration. But like Lindy said I wanted it more than anything, I felt like after both losses I owed it to my little angels to give it a 2nd shot. I prayed about it alot and knew that it was all in God's hands. I could only do medically what was best but if it was in God's plan for me to have another child, it would be. I am now 20 weeks and it has been a rocky road but I am so grateful for this healthy baby I am carrying believe me I would do it all over again, even the m/c because that is what led me to the diagnosis that is saving my baby this time around.
Biggest HUGS!!
Kris
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