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Post by heather on Apr 25, 2005 19:00:41 GMT -5
I am brand new to this forum and I must say that it has been really helpful already. I am 31 years old and have recently had 3 ultrasounds - all showing a gestational sac but no yolk sac or embryo. As first the doctor thought my calculations were off and that I wasn't as far along as I said I was. She has ordered two more u/s and each time I get my hopes up that we will see something. Today, again - nothing. I am roughly 8 weeks pregnant.
My husband and I opted not to tell anyone about the pregnancy until we found out everything was OK. NOw I am wishing we had b/c I need the support like you wouldn't believe.
I began taking clomid in February and to our surprise - we got pregnant the first month. Something inside of me said it was too good to be true.
I am waiting to hear from my doctor tomorrow. Is there still hope that within a couple of weeks there will be a fetal pole? And, if a D&C is recommended what is that like? Is it something that requires time off of work?
Thanks in advance for any advice you can lend.
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Post by kurby68 on Apr 25, 2005 21:01:16 GMT -5
Hi Heather.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Generally by now they should be seeing a fetal pole and a heartbeat. Have they run hcg levels? As far as a D&C I have not had one. I m/c naturally. In fact that is how I found out about the b/o.
Please keep us posted and if you need anything please let us know.
Take care Kallie
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on Apr 25, 2005 21:06:14 GMT -5
Dear Heather,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. They should check your HCG levels, but probably after 3 sonograms they should have seen something by now.
I had my bo in December (also on clomid, but I was doing IUIs too), and I had a d & e, which is like a d & c but no "curetage" or scraping. It is done by a vaccum. It felt like a lot of pressure, but only for a minute or two, and then I went home and slept for the afternoon and I got up and went to work the next day. It was Christmas Eve, and it is pretty much a fog to me now, but the actual procedure wass not as bad as I imagined.
Please let me know if you have any more questions. Good luck to you. You are in my thoughts. Lauren
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Post by justinsmomma on Apr 26, 2005 5:01:53 GMT -5
First of all, welcome and HUGS. I am so sorry that things aren't looking good for you. I was in a similar situation with my first b/o. At 5 weeks they saw a sac, at 7 still only a sac and at 8 no growth, no heartbeat, no fetal pole. I had my surgery at 9 weeks or so. I chose to have a D&E too, but they put me under for mine so I didn't feel anything. I was off work for about 5 days, but that was mostly for emotional reasons. I have suffered two blighted ovum m/c myself. Not something I would wish on my worst enemy.
We are here for you hun! Telling people about a pregnancy is a double edged sword. It did help that people knew about my pregnancies so they could support me in my time of need, but it also hurt. Sometimes the comments can be so cruel and make you feel even worse.
Please let us know if you need any more advice or a HUG.
HUGS
Kris
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Post by jenniferlynn on Apr 26, 2005 5:57:52 GMT -5
Heather,
I will be thinking of you the next few weeks. I had a BO in March( about 8-9 weeks along)(also MC in December). I ended up having a D & C on a Friday and went to work on Monday. It was so hard to go back to work considering 7 co-workers are expecting. Take it slow and find a friend or family member for support you will need it. You will have good and bad days. I had a very bad day yesturday, finding out my good neighobr was expecting and is due 3 days after I was due. So to watch her grow with a baby in her this summer is going to be the hardest thing ever. Just remember God only gives you what you can handle, I know it is hard because he is pushing me to my limit. Hang is there we are her to help you. Jenny
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Post by kurby68 on Apr 26, 2005 6:51:57 GMT -5
Jenny,
I am sorry that you are going through this as well. Yes it is very hard to watch pregnant people you know go on and have their babies. My friends son and his wife were due a few days from when I was and do you know as much as I love babies I have still not held that baby. We have had them at my house 3 times since they moved home and not once. Want even funnier no one has noticed it. There are so many people trying to hold her that they haven't noticed... Until this weekend my friend Todd asked what was up. (he moved 4 hours away and is my best friend) I said what do you mean... He says I haven't seen you fuss over that baby once... In all honesty I didn't even really recognize that i was doing this. I am thankful he did it where my friend was not around so that no one's feelings were hurt. I have held other babies but I guess I know that this baby was right at my due date...
See it does get easier but there will still be things that you deal with in their own time.
I had a very hard time with people hat complained a lot during pregnancy. I was sitting at a meeting one day and I listened to this woman call her baby an urchin.... I had to literally bite my tongue so as not to go off one her.
Please keep us posted on how you are doing and if you need to vent, ask questions or anything we are here for you.
Take care Kallie
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Post by malissa on Apr 26, 2005 11:49:08 GMT -5
So sorry you are going through this. this is also my first time on the site and I have found it helpful. I found out today that I most likely have a b/o, my 4th m/c. I am one of those people that can hardly stand to keep my pregnancies a secret and therefore always end up telling too many people. I had planned to not tell anyone this time, but then decided that even if people didn't know I was pregnant they would know about the m/c because of the wreck I will be when it happens. So I agree it's a mixed blessing, I have the support, but it is hard to tell everyone. The last m/c I had I had a d&c and I was glad I did, it was on Dec. 23rd and on the 24th I was out finishing my christmas shopping. I was a littel more tired, but emotionally was better than before because there was not the constant reminder (bleeding on top of the hormonal feeling sick etc.) that I had been pregnant. I plan to insist on a d&c this time once all hope is gone. Good luck and my prayers are with you.
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Post by heather on Apr 26, 2005 12:44:42 GMT -5
First and foremost I want to thank everyone for your support. It has been most helpful to hear your stories.
They have taken so many beta HCG tests that I am ready to go crazy. Each time the levels increase, but do not double. It appears as if the levels are leveling off.
My doctor called today and wants to see me tomorrow or Thursday. She is hoping to get me in on Friday for the D&C. I guess this is better than waiting, as my nerves would get the best of me.
There are two women that I work with who happen to be pregnant and I feel bitter towards them. I hate that I feel this way.
Thanks again for everything!
Heather
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Post by malissa on Apr 26, 2005 13:33:08 GMT -5
Heather-
After one of my m/c's one of my best friends at the time, who happened to be very insensitive, constantly complained about the morning sickness, achy joints etc. until one day when I told her how thankful I would be to be puking my guts out. It is so difficult to be around pregnant people when you have experienced such a loss. My co-workers wife had a baby in March 3 days after my due date from my #2 m/c, I still have some difficulty hearing about him and seeing pictures. Good luck. Malissa
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Apr 26, 2005 13:56:26 GMT -5
Heather, I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. For me the bitterness toward pregnant people was pretty severe, and even after I healed some and the pain wasn't so raw it kind of held on. I think I'm basically a good person, I think that it's a normal response although I felt horrible that I felt that way.
For me the D and C helped me find closure. As procedures go, it wasn't that bad. I felt achy waking up, that was the worst of it, and a bit sore for awhile but nothing too awful (and I am a huge, huge baby). Given the option again, I would still have taken it. Keep us posted on how you are doing, I'm glad they are getting it over with for you without making you wait. My B/o was diagnosed at 113d and I had to wait 9 days for the D and C (I stopped seeing that doctor right after, she was awful and about as compassionate as a rock).
**hugs** Lin
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Post by kurby68 on Apr 26, 2005 16:25:50 GMT -5
Heather
Please keep us posted on your d&c. If you need anything please let us know.
Malissa sorry that you have gone through so much. And now a bo. Have you went through any testing to see what the cause of your m/c?
If either of you need anythign we are here for you.
Take care ((((((((hugs))))))))) Kallie
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Post by malissa on Apr 26, 2005 17:15:34 GMT -5
Kallie-
Thanks- I do have low progesterone, but have been on progesterone with the pregnancies. They had talked about starting it prior to conception and mentioned doing genetics testing today, but I don't know if we will do that. Today it doesn't seem worth the pain again, I may change my mind. After my last m/c (b/o) the doctor actually told me that it was just "dumb luck" and I should think of myself as making up for the woman that has 10 pregnancies and no m/c's. Helpful huh?
Malissa
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on Apr 26, 2005 17:47:40 GMT -5
Hi Malissa, I would strongly recommend doing the genetics testing. After my bo my doctor did the tests, and it showed that the baby was genetically healthy so he ordered all typed of immunological tests. They discovered that I have elevated Natural Killer Cells that killed the baby I was carrying. When I started ttc again I was put on steroids, and now I just found out I am pregnant and I am having a treatment called IVIg which is an IV I will get once a month for at least the first 3 months of my pregnancy. There is another woman on this board who has a blood clotting disorder nad takes Heparin and is now 14 weesk pregnant. There are so many reasons why you may be miscarrying, and alot of them are treatable. I recommend a website called www.repro-med.net. It lists all the immunological reasons you can miscarry. Good luck to you. My thoughts are with you! Lauren
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Post by kurby68 on Apr 26, 2005 18:00:43 GMT -5
Malissa
Lauren & Kris have both went through testing and are now both pregnant. It may be something you want to look into. Sometimes having answers helps to heal as well.
Take care Kallie
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Post by malissa on Apr 26, 2005 20:38:42 GMT -5
Thank you- I am still just kind of reeling with the news today. Part of me is hopeful that the u/s was just done too early and next week will change everything and the other part just knows that is probably a dream. I am sure that given some time I will decide to have testing and ttc again ASAP! I sure wish that I had found this site with my previous pregnancies. Malissa
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Post by justinsmomma on Apr 27, 2005 5:29:35 GMT -5
Hi Malissa,
I am so sorry you are finding the need to be here. I know after all your losses you are hurting and wondering, why me? When I was on the table for my 2nd surgery (after my 2nd b/o) my Dr. told me I just have "bad luck" and there was no reason not to try again. Well it took me a whole year after my loss to want to try again, I was so scared of going through another loss. Then I decided to seek assistance through fertility testing and treatment. It was a very hard choice for me as I am quite fertile but I needed answers before getting pregnant this time. They tested me (and my spouse) for genetic issues, hormonal issues (I already have low progesterone and thyroid to begin with), and blood clotting issues. Just when I thought I was in the clear (they forgot to do the blood clotting panel) I got a call that one of the blood clotting panels had a hit. I tested positive for a prothrombin gene mutation, and what that means is that when pregnant my blood clots way more than it should. So my two m/c were most likely caused by excessive blood clotting in the umbilical cord or placenta. Somehow I had already skated through one pregnancy and delivery by the grace of God, so I never would've saw this coming. I was told I would need daily shots of heparin throughout my pregnancy and 6 weeks post partum. Deciding to try again was a no-brainer, I had to find out if this was the magic pill....so I was put on progesterone during my two week wait after ovulation, and got pregnant the first month I tried. I am now 14 weeks pregnant and on blood thinners. So that is my story. I absolutely recomend testing. It may have saved my baby's and my life.
HUGS! Sorry this got so long. I am just putting my story out there for you and anyone else that may need to hear a happy ending. Please ask if you have any questions.
Kris
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Post by malissa on Apr 27, 2005 13:43:07 GMT -5
Thank you all. Today is a really rough day. My BHCG level is up to 20,500 and so as you can imagine I feel like a very sick pregnant person and yet I'm pretty sure it won't be worth it in the end. I am usually not an angry person and am well aware that everything happens for a reason and I'm quite sick of hearing it. And God help the nest person who says to me that it must help knowing that there never was a baby!!!!!! I tried to go to work today and couldn't stay, I just want to go hide from the world!!!!!! Tomorrow will be anotherblood draw, so I can sit there in the waiting room and cry like a baby in front of everyone.
Malissa
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Apr 27, 2005 14:46:30 GMT -5
Heaven help me, I saw red as I read that and my blighted ovum was five years ago. Where the h*** do they get that? To me it insuated that my body just pretended to be pregnant. The fact is that a baby started to form (which for me kicked my body into pregnancy mode for 11 weeks!) and somewhere between conception and about 6 weeks the baby stopped forming--probably due to a chromosomal error and--and absorbed back into the body. For me, and I can't speak for everyone (and at least one person emailed me off of my website to say that for her it was a comfort there was no baby and I don't want to hurt anyone further with my opinions but...) in my opinion it belittles the greiving process. The little one started to form, but for whatever reason it stopped. It's a loss, and it's painful, and greiving that loss is normal. I also got the "it's all for the best because something was horribly wrong" speech a bunch of times. It would make me so horribly angry, that someone else would tell me it was for the best, no matter what I felt of what happened. I just wanted people to hug me and tell me they were here for me.
{{{{{{{malissa}}}}}}} I promise it will get better soon, and I know right now totally sucks.
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Post by malissa on Apr 27, 2005 19:34:48 GMT -5
Lindy- thanks. I told the person wh said that to me that it didn't make it easier and asked if a person had a baby that died at birth because of a severe heart defect would it feel any better to know that the baby never was viable to live outside the womb, it got pretty quiet after that. Malissa
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Post by kurby68 on Apr 27, 2005 19:38:05 GMT -5
Malissa
I know that you are hurting and if people could put themselves in your shoes before opening their mouths.
Lin youi said it. It still makes me angry almost a year later.... It was a baby and I was pregnant and I was very very in love with it and it hurt when I miscarried.
Please know that it does get better but it takes time.
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
Kallie
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Apr 27, 2005 21:11:23 GMT -5
Five years later I still wonder what might have been, if it was a boy or a girl, what they might have been like. For that brief moment I loved him or her and dreamed of the future to be and beyond that moment I still love him or her. I realize that God had a reason for taking him or her away but that doesn't mean that we should be expected to shrug it off and pretend it didn't happen. I suppose it is just misinformation with good intentions, but it hurts. This poem might help, I still get a tear when I read it, but it has always given me some peace.
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Post by heather on Apr 28, 2005 7:40:50 GMT -5
I am scheduled for my D and C tomorrow and am a nervous wreck! I have been given the option of being put to sleep or having a sedative to relax me. Does anyone have an opinion of what is better. Being put to sleep makes me very uncomfortable - more for the effects once I wake up. I hate feeling so groggy and out of it.
Thanks in advance for your advice,
Heather
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on Apr 28, 2005 11:20:37 GMT -5
Hi Heather,
I had a liguid valium and some other sedative, and I honestly hardly felt anything and then felt pretty mellow the rest of the day. I was completely awake, but definetely "altered". It really was not that bad.
I will be thinking of you and hoping that all goes as well as it can. Lauren
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Apr 28, 2005 13:14:03 GMT -5
I was completely out and given the option would probably go that way again, although I felt awful for a little while as I woke up. I would bet you'd be fine either way, I had a toe operated on (which I of course know isn't the same, but involved cutting me and cutting of a bone spur) and the Doctor described it as feeling like I'd had a few drinks and that really was what it was like, I felt tugging and no pain at all. They know what they are doing and wouldn't do it that way if they couldn't control the pain or whatever. My understanding is that it is a pretty short procedure. If you are more comfortable not being put out I'd go for it, since you aren't going to feel what they are doing. Waking up after being put out is pretty yucky.
{{{{{{hugs}}}}}} Let us know how you are doing after.
Lin
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Post by kr on Apr 29, 2005 17:37:16 GMT -5
Hi Heather,
Let me start by saying hi and that I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I had my D&E just last week - Personally it helped emotionally, just by way of giving me some closure. Even though its just been a week I feel so much better. I'm sure you will too. I hope the procedure goes well, I was put under as well and it was over in 15 mins and then I walked home with my mom. I was really wiped out in the evening though, and a little 'off' the next day. Let us know how you're doing!
Take care
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