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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Apr 20, 2005 21:47:06 GMT -5
I'm also overweight and in the same age group. I was 32 when I had my blighted ovum. I was 33 for next pg and 35 for the one after that (I turned 36 a few months after I had her). I didn't have any problems getting pregnant, I feel kind of ashamed to admit it knowing the problems some had conceiving but I got pg on the first try with both of the following pgs (the first was an accident of sorts where we would be careless on purpose now and then). I agree with Kallie, stay active and I wouldn't worry about it. I did chart my ovulation days though and used that for the days to be sure and have sex--although I didn't temp or anything. I don't think there is any reason not to have sex. I was told to wait because of the D and C, and to be honest I was kind of raw--I wouldn't have wanted to. Otherwise, I can't imagine a reason not to.
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Post by justinsmomma on Apr 21, 2005 6:00:30 GMT -5
Amy,
I am so sorry for the ordeal you went through. Glad you are starting to feel better! As for your age and weight being a factor in pregnancy, well I am 35 and pregnant and just had the preliminary tests for down's and trisomy 18 and all is well with me so far. I am a high risk due to other reasons but 35-36 really is far from old to have a baby. ;0) As for your weight, just try and eat right and exercise. If the Dr.'s had concerns that way I am sure they would tell you. About the headaches, excedrin always did it for me. Sometimes I took it with coffee for a real boost.
Oh and as far as sex goes, I would think it would be best to at least be sure your cervix is closed up again so you don't risk infection. Maybe a week or so, but I would ask your Dr. I think its beautiful that this experience brought you and your spouse closer together.
KR,
I am glad your surgery went well. Please continue to check in and know that I am thinking of you.
HUGS
Kris
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Post by amyldougj on Apr 21, 2005 14:33:20 GMT -5
Hello Today is a much better day. My headaches are better today. I found out when my head hurt the worst, that if I would get just a little something along with the tylenol that it took the edge off. I guess ttc will be our next step. We have never had much of a problem with that in the past usually only took 2-3 months tops. Again I want to say thank you all of you, you have been great help for me. Thanks again Amy
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Post by amyldougj on Apr 21, 2005 14:54:09 GMT -5
Kallie, How long did you wait to have sex and how long did it take before you were pregnant again. Thanks for the support Amy
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Post by kurby68 on Apr 21, 2005 19:30:11 GMT -5
I think we waited a wk after the bo. But I was just down to very light spotting. As far as ttc it took us 8 months, but it took me 8 months to get pg w/ the b/o as well. must be our lucky #. LOL I also had a problem w/ low progesterone and short luteal phase. They were planning on putting me on clomid, but I guess didn't need to.
Take care Kallie
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lizzy
New Member
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Post by lizzy on Apr 21, 2005 20:57:17 GMT -5
This is my first time on this site. I started spotting one and a half wks ago, it's more of a brownish discharge. I was only 4wk pregnant. I went to the Dr and we did a vaginal sonogram. He said it is to early for him to see anything so he drew blood and let me know that my hormone levels where not rising the way he thought they should. He asked me to come back for another sonogram a wk later, and still says her thinks it is to early to see anything, but let me know that he thought my pregnancy could be a blighted ovum. I have to return to his office again on Monday for another sonogram. I should be about 6 1/2 wks along by then. He says if we do not see a heart beat by then that I could have a D&C or I can wait to miscarry on my own. I am really worried that 6 1/2 wks is not long enough to be able to see the heartbeat. If it is a blighted ovum I do want to have a D&C as soon as possible, but what if we didn't wait long enough. What if there is a heartbeat and we just don't see it yet? As you all know the last couple of weeks have been really stress full and the wait is killing me. I'm just glad I found this site and I can share this with someone. liz
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Post by kurby68 on Apr 21, 2005 21:03:17 GMT -5
Liz
I am so sorry that you have had to come to us. I know that generally if you are correct on dates they should be able to see a heartbeat. At 5 1/2 wks all they could see was an empty sac for mine.
Please let us know how things are going and if you need anything please let us know.
Take care Kallie
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Post by amyldougj on Apr 22, 2005 10:40:26 GMT -5
Good morning ladies. I guess since the m/c is over and life is going on we want to try again. I'm just not sure about a few thing. Hope you ladies might be able to help me. First how soon after a m/c can you get pregnant? I heard that since you are weaker that it is easier to get pregnant. Kinda like after having a baby some women go to there 6wk checkup and are already pg again. Is that something that can happen after a m/c. This was my first m/c and until this all happened I knew nothing about what you ladies go through. All I know is that you ladies have to be the strongest people I have ever talked to. My dh and I made love the other night and I have a OB appt next week. Could we of made a baby the other night and if we did can the doctor tell already? I really need your advise. Thanks again for being so wonderful Amy
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Post by kurby68 on Apr 22, 2005 11:15:31 GMT -5
Amy, It is very unlikely that you are pregnant unless you ovulate right at the beginning of your cycle. As far as how long it will take... Each person is different and it is all about timing. I temped and charted for 8 months before I became pg. I also had other issues working against me as well.
Plus if your levels aren't down yet you probably won't o for a bit. If you have any ttc ?'s go to the ttc area and start a new thread I am sure you will learn more than you ever needed to. I know I have.
Take care Kallie
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Apr 22, 2005 16:03:38 GMT -5
The soonest I've heard anyone get the go ahead to try again was after their first period following the loss. I was told to wait 3, but I had a D and C. I had to wait to let the lining of my uterus build up again some. We got pg the first month we tried following the 3 months I was told to wait. I made a friend on another board who also had a blighted ovum, I was about 6 months pg before she was able to get pg and she had started trying before I did. I think it just depends on the person. I see so many people that have had trouble getting pg--yet we were very fortunate in that regard. If you want to temp or use ovulation kits you might post here for advice from someone who's used them. My advice is at the least to chart it out on a free online one for ovulation my.webmd.com/content/tools/1/calc_ovulation.htm?z=3628_81000_0000_10_01 is what I used. It was right for me, since we only had sex on those days (with a small child, we were lucky to be on vacation along that month--Kinsey is our Vegas souvenier). It can't hurt and then you have an idea of when might be the most fertile time to try. Good luck Lin
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Post by kr on Apr 23, 2005 20:03:04 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
I'm recovering well from the D&C - unfortunately the opposite is true of my emotionally. I've had a really rough day, my mom left today and the second I got back in the car I just broke down. Right now the light at the end of the tunnel seems awfully distant, I only hope and pray I can make it.
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Post by kurby68 on Apr 23, 2005 22:06:47 GMT -5
KR
I am sorry that you are having a rough time. It is a long trip and unfortunately each person deals with things in a different way. I would be doing really good and for no reason at all start crying or get really angry.
OPlease keep us posted and if you need anything we are here for you.
Take care Kallie
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Apr 23, 2005 22:55:54 GMT -5
I was really bad after, I cried often, spent hours at the computer desperately searching for answers, and pushed everyone away. I've never felt so low or alone.
One thing I can say is that it does get better. I think it took me at least a month before I started to really improve--and even then it was pretty slow. It happened though, and no matter what your process is for moving forward things will start to hurt less--I promise.
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}} Just remember you aren't alone, everyone here has been through the same thing to a certain degree and we are here for you....
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Post by justinsmomma on Apr 24, 2005 6:32:14 GMT -5
Awe KR,
I spent months in a mental limbo after my m/c's. I focused my energies on getting back into shape (I love to exercise and it is a great mental boost) and not thinking about it. Both times I had b/os someone close to me got pregnant and carried to term. Their happy news hit me like a wave and knocked me clear into the abyss. I don't know why it took something like that to make me grieve properly. I guess I needed to go through that anger phase, and boy did that trigger it.
I am not a religious person but I believe in God (hope you dont' mind a little spirituality LOL) and how I see it is through that footprints poem. When the man saw only one set of footprints in the sand, he questioned God where he was during that time he needed him the most. God said "it was then that I carried you". Those words got me through a lot in life.
HUGS HUGS HUGS
Kris
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Post by kr on Apr 24, 2005 6:57:34 GMT -5
Thank you all for the encouraging words. I don't know what happened to me last night but it was sheer hell. I started hyperventilating and my husband really got me through. I feel so darn guilty and angry and disappointed and disheartened. I think I'm a little better this morning though, lets see how the day plays out.
Lin, I've also been researching b/os like crazy even though I already know the why, what and when - I feel like I've lost my mind!
Kallie, I'm relieved you mentioned anger - I'm so furious and I can't quite figure out why.
Justinsmomma, I o believe in God as well, I just hope he carries me through this - and helps us have a baby soon!
I'll be back at work this week so that should help - even though I'll have rough moments initially I hope things get better. I think it was also because my mom left - I miss her like crazy already, and my dad - its hard when they live so far away and I need them to just vent out to! Thank God for msn I guess! Thanks for being here, guys I can't tell you how grateful I am to have people to just talk to.
kr
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Lauren
Senior Member
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Post by Lauren on Apr 24, 2005 8:10:15 GMT -5
Dear KR,
I too felt so down for over a month after my bo in Decemmber. I cried alomost everyday, and was so angry that this had happened to me. I still feel like it is so unfair, but it does get easier to deal with. It takes a long time though, so be patient with your self. I also found a therapist who deals with infertility and loss, and she helped me a lot.
My thoughts are with you. Lauren
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Apr 24, 2005 12:57:05 GMT -5
I think anger is a natural part of the grieving process. I was surprised at how nasty I felt toward people who were pregnant. I didn't know them, yet I truly felt this anger toward the fact they were having a baby and my dreams were crushed. I remember clearly the time I felt it the strongest, we had our 1 year anniversary 2 days after I found out. We went out to dinner anyway, at the Outback (I even know specifically where I was sitting--and this was 5 years ago) and there was a pregnant woman standing in front of me and I just wanted to scream and yell. I remember feeling so surprised at myself, I'm not a mean person and have worked in a social work capacity for years...I'd always thought I was reasonably compasionate. I couldn't help how I felt though. Otherwise, my world just seemed to be shrouded in pain. Slowly it started to ebb away though. Where you are right now truly is the hardest part.
*hugs*
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 11, 2005 9:35:45 GMT -5
AMY & anyone else who had natural M/C 8+ weeks:
Just curious, having read your M/C story ((((((((HUG))))))) that sounds really awful.... I'm quesitoning my ability to have a D&C and after reading that am not sure I'd be able to handle an experience like yours any better. Same anxieties over the procedure that you had, but If you had to do it all again, do you think you would have had the D&C? I'm just beside myself with the what if's! If I were to pass actual tissue (now that they've spotted something in the sac) I think I'd be a basket case! Just the thought of the large clots scares me. On the other hand, the D&C sounds scary too! Any advise would be well received!
Stephanie
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Post by kr on May 11, 2005 19:17:02 GMT -5
Hi steph,
Honestly, I thought the D&C wasn't bad at all. I was fine right after, infact I walked home because it was a beautiful day!
I come from a family full of doctors and have an OB thats had a BO herself and the risks, though unnerving are definitely pretty rare. Also, if you wait to miscarry naturally, there's every chance all the tissue wont come out and you'll have to have a d&c anyway - personally I didn't think I could go through all that agony as I was so crushed anyway. I just wanted to get it all over with and slowly begin the healing process. I wish you luck and more than anything else, strength! (((hugs!!)))
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Post by amyldougj on May 12, 2005 9:18:37 GMT -5
Hello Ladies,
I'm not sure what ups with the pg test but af came this morning in full force. I'm kinda glad she did. At least now I know and we will be able to tell when I get pg the right due date.
Steph, I felt just like you did when it came to what to do. The reason I did the natural m/c is I wanted to make sure there was no baby. If there was no baby then mother nature would take over and I would have a m/c and that is what happened. I just could not take the chance that the doctors were wrong and that my baby was still ok. That was my main reason why I waited to have a natural m/c. As far as how bad my m/c was I have been told that mine was just a really bad one that most women dont go through all that I did. Also I do not deal with pain very well and if I can do it natural then anyone can. You might not think that you are strong enough but you are stronger then you think. Please let us know which way you go. Just know that we are here for you. This site is great and the ladies on here are some of the best ladies I have ever talked to. I don't know what I would of done with out this site. Thank all of you ladies for all the support you have gave me. I would be lost without you all. Thanks again and Steph let us know how you are and you will be in my prayers. Amy
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Post by kurby68 on May 12, 2005 17:40:21 GMT -5
Amy
Keep us posted when you are ttc. You can post where you are at in your cycle or if you need any questions answered.
Take care
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Post by amyldougj on May 13, 2005 11:00:30 GMT -5
Hello, I have yet another question for you ladies. AF came yesterday but then she stopped. I did not bleed last night or today. Is this normal?? I have cramps, bloating, backache & dizzy/lightheaded some. I also feel like crap, I take midol and it helps some. Before I got pg my AF were 4-5 days long and I just dont know what to think about this one. Is this normal? ? Amy
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Post by kurby68 on May 13, 2005 11:59:03 GMT -5
Amy
I think that seeing that you took a pg test and it was + you ought to call your dr.
Take care Kallie
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Post by amyldougj on May 13, 2005 14:22:41 GMT -5
Why is this so hard???
I finally did it, I called the Ob office and talked to the nurse. I told her about the pos pg test on Monday and the bleeding on Thursday and then that it just stopped. I also told her that I have pms symptoms and I dont know what to do. It will be 4wks on Sunday since my b/o m/c. She said that I should wait till Monday and if I have not started by then to take another pg test and to call her. They will do pg blood test if they need to. What should I think. I am so confussed and upset. All week I thought that maybe just maybe we were pg again and then I thought af came on Thursday and that I would have to wait another month before we could ttc again and now the bleeding just stopped? Has anyone went through anything like this and can tell me what might be going on with my body? I just want to curl up and cry I'm so confussed. My stress level is reaching the max. Has anyone every got pg right after a m/c? Is that possible? Please help Amy One more thing, I know some of you keep track of your temp. Mine is usually 96 on Monday it was 98.6 and today it was 99.2 this is with a regular ear thermometer. Does this mean anything?
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Post by kurby68 on May 13, 2005 20:26:31 GMT -5
Amy
I used to temp in the morning when I hadn't even gotten out of bed. I used a thermometer that was basal thermometer. It takes the temp within 100ths of a degree. If you want more info got to fertilityfriend.com
I am so sorry that things are so crazy for you.
I told you to call your dr because you could always have gotten an infection or yes you could be pg. But if you are they could follow it closely.
Take care Keep us posted (((((((hugs))))))))
Kallie
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Post by reedstephstuff on May 14, 2005 12:20:32 GMT -5
Amy,
Sounds like a pretty bumpy road you're on! Almost similar to what I went through back in Jamuary.... I don't have any answers for you, but am anxious to hear what happens on Monday! Thanks for your support and encouragement, sweety! I really love having this board to come back to when I'm having one of those confusing and lonely moments. I know I have my DH, but sometimes he's not such a DH and this place is all that more important at those times.
Steph
In fact, I'm going to post a new thread to the Rants and Off topics about the DH issue....
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Post by amyldougj on May 14, 2005 13:36:48 GMT -5
I had to make another run to the Dollar General this morning. I just could not wait till Monday. I bought 4 test. One for today and then the next 3 mornings. I came home and the first thing I did was use a pg test. The line is still light but I think I got a BFP. I had my step-son and dh look at it and they both say the faint line. I'm pretty sure I'm pg. I will keep everyone informed on what is going on and thanks again for all the support! Amy
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