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Post by kurby68 on Mar 20, 2005 20:21:23 GMT -5
Robbin
I had that kind of reaction by the ER dr and I had to prove to my dh that I was truly pg and m/c. It was ugly. You know most people ho into medicaql field because they want to help people but then their are some that say things are very insensitive and far from correct.
Take care Kallie
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Post by Michelle on Mar 22, 2005 12:45:18 GMT -5
I hear you...that's pretty much how they acted with me. Like I was just supposed to get over it and go home. My mom called and filed a complaint with the er administrator because they were buttholes! I guess people really don't know what it's like unless they have to go through it but it's amazing that some people can be so insensitive. I feel like all you guys are the only ones who know what I'm talking about and what I'm going through/trying to deal with. All I really want is some time to myself but I think I've pushed my boyfriend away. I really hope not. Anyway, I have to go back to work. Physically feeling better as long as I am taking the ibuprofen and I can really tell when it's time. Emotionally not doing as well...impossible to tell what it will be that will set me off. I know it takes time. but every time somebody mentions anything to do with a baby i just lose it. which makes it harder because i have a 13 month old daughter who is the sweetest baby in the world. i am trying to get all the maternity clothes bagged up so i can get rid of them. i want them out of the house. okay now i really have to go back to work. i will write more later!
michelle
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Post by kurby68 on Mar 22, 2005 13:14:10 GMT -5
Michelle
Maybe take the maternity clothes and have a friend or relative hold onto them until you make any final decisions. You may decide you want them somewhere in the future. Also after my oldest was 6 and I had divorced and thought why do I need this I got rid of all my maternity and baby stuff. When I found out I was pg when my oldest dd was 12 wow I had to start all over.
Give yourself some time to heal. It does make a large difference on the way you look at everything.
Take care
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Mar 22, 2005 20:36:07 GMT -5
I agree with Kallie, don't do anything rash. I am the queen of doing things too quickly and wishing I'd proceeded slower. If you need them out of the house (which I can understand) I'd ask a friend to hold on to them--at least for a few months until you take a breather. It is definately better than having to spend money to replace something later if you change your mind. Your hormones may have something to do with how you are wanting to proceed now.
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Post by justpancho on Mar 22, 2005 21:10:49 GMT -5
Hey Michelle. I think I'll take a different approach. I say if it makes you feel better to ditch the clothes, then go for it. It might not be the most rational decision in the long run, but right now you are trying to heal emotionally and if the clothes are causing you stress.. then dump them. (NOTE: I've never had to buy any maternity clothes so I don't know how expensive this can get.)
When I went through my B/O, I had such a hard hard time healing emotionally. People wondered why it was taking me so long, but I didn't worry too much with them. I knew my grief was real.. and I felt justified. Losing a child at any stage is just devastating. Don't let anyone who says 'you should be over this by now' bother you. They just don't get it. I no longer call it a B/O either. That seems put people in the mindset of 'there never was a baby'. Now I just refer to it as a miscarriage or sometimes I just say 'I wish my baby was here with me today.' I found when I referred to the situation in those terms, they would finally start to understand why I was having such a hard time healing.
I'm sorry to hear things are stressed with your boyfriend. Take one day at a time. I know it's hard, but having to work and deal with this emotionally has to be stressful. Maybe try to talk this out with him some more and let him know how you feel. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
panch
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Post by hockeyhippie88 on Mar 25, 2005 21:37:38 GMT -5
Evenin' ladies..just a quick update. I went to the midwife for checkup today and she said everything is getting back to "normal" and the cramping/bleeding is almost gone.I think the emotional part will be easier to deal with once the physical part is over with. The grief counselor at the hospital sent me a packet of literature and I already read it and my boyfriend bobby finally read it last night. he didn't really want to but i told him he should - that it might be informative/enlightening for him. i just feel so bad for overlooking that he might be upset about this too. does that make sense. he was so sweet taking care of me and i just ignored that he might be hurting too. ( i'm not a very good girlfriend. he is sick and sleeping right now. anyway...just wanted to give ya'll an update on the physical aspect...... Michelle
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on Mar 25, 2005 22:07:05 GMT -5
Hi Michelle, Glad to hear things are getting back to normal for you. It is easier when you have gotten over the physical reminders of your loss, but it takes a long time to get over the emotional ups and downs of a miscarriage. I am still trying to get over mine, and gear up to try again.
I hope that you and your boyfriend can have a good and relaxing weekend! Best wishes, lauren
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Mar 26, 2005 15:11:12 GMT -5
Michelle, I'm glad you are doing better, I hope you have a Happy Easter (and the rest of you also!)
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Post by littlewadsworth on Apr 7, 2005 11:39:39 GMT -5
Hi all: I am new here-I just found this website. I just got back from my second ultrasound at 7 weeks 2 days, and found out that it is a blighted ovum. I am very upset! I took the rest of the day off of work since I do not want to sit at my desk crying. My husband I did our first round of IVF, and it had appeared to work. The doctor was very kind and gentle about telling us, and I am appreciative of that. He also seemed to think that this doesn't happen twice very often (thank you for those odds, now I can play the lottery .). Just very angry and hurt at this point. I know it is not the end of our ttc, but when I feel sorry for myself I wish I knew why this has to be so hard. I mean, I went through all of the bloodwork, egg retrieval, waiting, etc. I am not giving up, since I have heard that many women have successful pregnancies after b/o. I just have not heard a lot of stories about b/o with IVF. Anyone out there can share my misery?
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Post by justpancho on Apr 7, 2005 13:55:03 GMT -5
Hey.. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I just had a D&C today, but mine was not a blighted ovum this time. My blighted ovum was 13 months ago. Please try not to think of this as 'feeling sorry for yourself'. Give yourself time to grieve. It's normal and can last for a really long time. You have experienced a great loss.. not only the baby, but also the life you expected to lead from that moment forward. I'm on a lot of medicine from the D&C.. so I should go lay down. I just wanted to offer some ((((HUGS))))) and please keep posting if you need support. The ladies here are so wonderful and supportive... even on days when all you can do is rant and cry.
I hope you feel better soon. panch
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Post by kurby68 on Apr 7, 2005 18:14:40 GMT -5
You have every right to feel however you feel. I hgad my bo in July 2004 and I went through them all. It is a scary thought to lose all hope of how your life was expected to be and then have to go through highs and lows. I am so happy I fopund these woman they were very helpful to me as I healed.
If you need anything at all please let us know.
Take care ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) Kallie
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Post by twiceblessed on Apr 7, 2005 19:43:58 GMT -5
littlewadsworth, why do they think you have a blighted ovum? Seven weeks is kind of early to say whether a gestational sac is really empty. At Parents Place they say to wait until nine weeks or more because some babies are more difficult to see. When do you have another ultrasound appointment? I am sorry and hope things turn around for you.
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Apr 7, 2005 22:21:04 GMT -5
I have to agree with twiceblessed, it seems VERY early to be making any assumptions as far as that goes. Are they monitoring you, running further tests.
I'm so sorry you are going through this {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}
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Post by justinsmomma on Apr 8, 2005 5:12:30 GMT -5
Hello Littlewadsworth,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I am assuming because you are a infertility patient that this was your 3rd u/s and there was no question about the blighted ovum diagnosis.
I just went through fertility testing and treatment myself. I almost went through IVF because I was under the impression that only the healthiest embryos were implanted, thus lowering the risk of m/c. I have had 2 b/o miscarriages with a healthy baby in between. I was found to have a genetic mutation causing blood clotting problems. So I am in a different place with my treatment, but I have been through all of the testing, including HSG.
My thoughts and prayers are with you hunny. Let us know if you need any advice or help. You must be in complete shock and hurting so after all you went through to get PG.
Kris
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justinmommatwiceblessed
Guest
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Post by justinmommatwiceblessed on Apr 8, 2005 10:16:48 GMT -5
I am kind of in shock. I took today off of work-just didn't feel like explaining it to everyone again. I had 2 ultrasounds, and the sac had not changed at all since the first one 9 days before the second one. I have heard of them misdiagnosing b/os. They thought they had seen a fetal dipole the first time, but didn't mention it the second u/s. My doctor told me to come to his office in 2 weeks if my cycle hadn't started. They think I am almost 5 weeks 6 days along. Should I have a D&C, or just let it pass naturally.? I don't want to have any more surgery!!! But, I also don't want to hemorrhage! My DH and I started trying a few years ago. We did 3 rounds of Clomid with IUIs, then I had a laparoscopy and they found stage 3 endometriosis. I had a chemical miscarriage a month after the laparoscopy (thought it was just my cycle kicking in). So, we tried on our own for 3 months. Then we started with the fertility drugs (injections of Gonal F) and the IUIs. Nothing. We stopped trying after 4 rounds. I found some insurance through work which would cover 4 rounds of IVF (I honestly felt like I hit the lottery! I was so happy I cried!). We waited until this January to start our first round of IVF. Then, I had to undergo general anesthesia for a hysteroscopy, since they thought they saw a polyp on the intrauterine exam. It was negative. So, I keep telling myself and DH that we are truly blessed to have most of this covered. I can't imagine how this would feel if we were paying for all of it. I wrote to my congressmen and said that IVF should be every woman's right, not a privilege! If the insurance companies can cover Viagra, they can sure &*%^# cover infertility treatments! Anyway, sorry about that diversion rant. I am 38.5, so I feel time is slipping away from me for a baby. We started fertility treatments when I was 35-a year after we got married (this is my first marriage, DH's second). This may sound stupid, but I want some advice on this: when we did our first round of IVF, I was SO NERVOUS when it came time to do the egg retrieval and transfer. I felt like I was in a pressure cooker. I told DH last night how I felt, and that I am determined to go through as many rounds of IVF as needed to get this baby. I just don't know if I can handle the anxiety. Do you think it would be stupid for me to contact my doctor and ask for any medication that might ease my anxiety? I have never taken anything like that before. I used to feel this anxiety in college around finals time, when I transferred jobs and cities, etc., but that was always short term. Right now I am looking at waiting until June to start round 2. DH said that June will be here before you know it (he is so good to me!). What do you ladies think? As always, thank you for your input! I feel like I have found a sisterhood of women who have gone through what I am going through, so your advice counts a lot more than someone who has not gone through this!
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Post by little wadsworth on Apr 8, 2005 11:00:38 GMT -5
Sorry, that was me that posted that long message. I was trying to reply back to 2 other women that had replied to my message. Oops! Sorry, I'm new to these chatroom-type things.
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Apr 8, 2005 15:42:36 GMT -5
no problem If you want You can sign up for an account if you want the posting name to be set. I will probably change the settings pretty soon to require an account, but since this forum is new I wanted it to be as user friendly as possible to start with and right now you don't have to be a member to post. I have my account set to stay logged on, so when I come here I don't have to type anything and it just posts immediately under my registered name. It's up to everyone that posts right now though, so far everyone has been so supportive and wonderful (and no spammy messages) that it hasn't been necessary.
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