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Post by Michelle on Mar 14, 2005 14:14:15 GMT -5
Hi I am new here and I have some questions if anyone can answer any of them. I am 11 weeks pregnant and started cramping over the weekend. I spent Sunday in the ER where they tried to listen to baby's heartbeat and couldn't find one, then they did regular ultrasound and vaginal ultrasound and told me there is amniotic sac but no baby. They tested my hcg (it was 6191) and they want me to have it tested again tomorrow to see if it's going up/down/staying the same. I am seeing a midwife and when I talked to her today she said I should let things progress on their own rather than have the d&c. I'm just wondering, how accurate is this kind of diagnosis because I would swear I feel baby movement (this is my 3rd pregnancy and midwife told me I would feel movement early). She said I should def. have the hcg tested tomorrow and she wants to do another ultrasound. I know it sounds stupid but I just don't want to give up on this "baby". So I was just wondering, if there is anybody else who received this diagnosis incorrectly, or what anybody's thoughts are. I've never heard of this before. My other two pregnancies were normal and it never occurred to me that something could go wrong with this one. Any help/info is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Mar 14, 2005 14:29:37 GMT -5
It's always been my understanding that by 11 w (mine was diagnosed 11w3d) via ultasound after I started cramping and spotting that a baby would be seen unless the dating of the pregnancy is really wrong. Are you certain you would be 11w? I've heard of people finding it was wrong when an ultrasound was done at 7 or 8 weeks, but if the dating is correct is does, unfortunately, sound like a blighted ovum. One of the bad things about a blighted ovum is your body thinks it is still pregnant and often the symptoms such as morning sickness persist which was the case with me. In my case they were very clear in the e/r when they did the vaginal ultrasound that by not seeing it the diagnosis was a blighted ovum.
If they are still checking the hcg and want to do another ultrasound, I'd go for it. Maybe the dating is off or something else caused them not to see the baby. If nothing else, I think you need to do this for you and your peice of mind.
As for waiting for things to go naturally or not...I opted for a D and C because I was told if some was left in it could cause an infection that might interfere with my being able to become pregnant again so I did the procedure. I would talk to your Dr. and inquire about how long to wait to miscarry naturally (if that is the case).
I pray they are wrong and everything turns out ok for you.
Kind regards, Lin
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Post by Michelle on Mar 14, 2005 14:41:44 GMT -5
Hi again...and thanks for responding. from my lmp (dec. 23) i should be 11 weeks. i am going ahead with the hcg test tomorrow and will go from there i guess. i'm just so unfamiliar with this..it's very confusing. the er doctors were not very helpful or anything. anyway, thanks for writing back. i will keep you posted.....
michelle
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Mar 14, 2005 15:55:27 GMT -5
Michelle, definately please keep us posted. I agree that e/r doctors aren't helpful. Even my obgyn (who I did not go back to for my next pregnancy) was surprisingly unaffected and unhelpful. The ultrasound tech was the one who explained to me what she saw and used the term blighted ovum. I can't understand that, I felt like my world was crashing in on me and I was treated like what was being told to me was insignificant.
{{{hugs}}}}
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Post by justpancho on Mar 14, 2005 16:50:21 GMT -5
Michelle.. I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. Being told about a possible blighted ovum can be so confusing and painful. I'll try to answer your questions as best I can. From everything I've read, you should be able to hear the heartbeat by 6-7 weeks.. so at 11 weeks this is really troublesome. Are you sure your dates are right? I don't want to offer false hope, but there is a short amount of time (usually a week) where the baby can hide. I believe this typically happens early on.. like in weeks 6-9.
My last advice is.. don't give up on this baby until you are ready.. until ALL of your questions have been answered. I think it's great that they are checking your hcg numbers and are going to do another scan. There is also nothing wrong with waiting for the miscarriage to happen naturally too... if the pregnancy ends up not viable. Many women choose this option and prefer it. The D&C route can be equally as good. That's what I chose to do because waiting on it to happen made me too sad. I was ready to move forward. I thought that would help, but in hindsight.. losing a baby like this is just really hard and just takes time to heal.
Please let us know how the tests go and if you have anymore questions. (((((HUGS)))))
panch
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Post by kurby68 on Mar 14, 2005 18:39:32 GMT -5
Michelle
I had 2 pg prior to my bo (blighted ovum) and they were normal healthy pg. I hope that w/ hcg & another u/s that they find a baby and the hb and your hcg has gone up too.
Please keep us posted and if you need anything please let us know.
Take care
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Post by Robbin on Mar 15, 2005 18:57:02 GMT -5
Michelle, It has been 6 yrs since my miscarriage/blighted ovum. I also got a big run around once I started cramping and spotting. My ultrasound showed that my womb was empty and I was told that there was nothing that they could do for me and I was sent home. Two days later I woke up having contractions and I was hemmoraging. My husband rushed me to the hospital and I was given a D&C. I can tell you from my experience that having my body "clean itself" out just added to the devastation I was already feeling and I would have prefered to have had the D&C sooner. I had 2 healthy pregnancies before this one and I have since had a healthy boy. I wish you all the best, Michelle!
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Mar 15, 2005 20:41:10 GMT -5
Wow, Robin, you hemorraged...how awful--like there wasn't enough going on . I'm glad you were ok, that is so serious. They always give it as a possibility but that is just horribly frightening. Given the option of natural misarriage vs. a D and C I was glad I did the D & C. I had an incomplete miscarriage--I did bleed and pass some tissue. For me it did two things, it gave me some closure which I think helped me find peace sooner and it made me sure they got everything out which I think also helped me heal emotionally. I think it would have taken me longer to get to a healthier place had I not had the procedure done. I think faced with this choice a person should just talk to the doctor about the risks and benefits and decide based on what feels best. The procedure itself wasn't all that bad--and I'm a huge chicken. There are risks though of perforation of the bowel, plus anesthesia risks. To follow up my story (and hopefully insert some hope ) I was 32 when I had my blighted ovum. I went on to be pregnant two more times--and because of my age there was a slightly greater chance of problems--and everything was ok. I realize I am so lucky compared to some, and I know I'm blessed--but there is always hope. I've heard of so many sad stories that end happy. If the worst happens, please don't give up hope for the future.
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on Mar 15, 2005 21:26:42 GMT -5
Hi Michelle, I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through.
I had a blighted ovum in late December, and my hcg levels were continuing to rise and the sac was continuing to grow, so my doctor advised me to do the d & c because of teh risk of hemoraging. He actually did not even give me the choice of miscarrying naturally. The d & c was not painful at all, and I had no complications from it.
Many women have gotten pregnant again soon after a bo, so there is a lot of hope! Good luck to you! Lauren
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Mar 15, 2005 23:51:47 GMT -5
My sister in law is an RN and insists that following a miscarriage a woman is more likely to conceive quickly and more likely to in fact have multiples due to the body reacting and dropping additional eggs. In all my research I never found this spoken of so I don't know. I do know her sister did get pg with twins right after her miscarriage.
After my D and C they told me I had to wait 3 months for the lining of my uterus to build back up. It felt like the longest 3 months of my life, but we got pregnant again pretty quick. The odds are in a person's favor that the outcome won't be repeated.
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Post by Michelle on Mar 16, 2005 23:55:06 GMT -5
Hi everybody. Thanks to all of you for your kind words of encouragement and hope. Mostly everybody is acting like "there was never a baby so why are you so upset" like they don't understand in my heart and mind there WAS a baby. I know you all know what I mean. I did go for the hcg test yesterday afternoon and when i got home from work i called my midwife but she didn't have the results back and was trying to get them. She called me back about 10 minutes later to tell me the hospital was having problems processing my blood sample, and in that 10 minutes I started bleeding so I told her about that and said it sounded like my body was trying to bring about the "natural" miscarriage (oxymoron?) and I could take vicodin and page her if I started bleeing really heavy. Now through the night I slept fine but woke up cramping around 5 and then things just progressed from there. It was like labor contractions only 100 times worse and then I started bleeing a lot around 11 so I called the midwife and she told me to get to her office so my boyfriend drove me and she examined me and said everything was right there , i guess my cervix had dilated and was the contractions were pusing everything out so she was able to get everything she thinks. they are sending it to the lab to make sure it was the whole thing and i was supposed to see her next friday for my monthly appointment so i'm to keep that and she told me to go home and rest so that's what i've been doing. physically i feel 100% better but emotionally just trying to deal with it. my mom said i should be thankful i have two healthy babies (well one';s 15 years old and the other is 13 months) and i definitely am, but i don't think it makes me selfish because i wanted this baby too. my boyfriend's mom is the one who acted like i should be upset since there was never a baby in the first place. also the office manager where i work is a real bitch and has already told the whole courthouse "guess what michelle was never pregnant", implying i made it up or something. i didn't go to work today and i'm not going tomorrow - thie midwife wrote me a letter saying i need to be off these 2 days so they can kiss my ass! Anyway, just wanted to check in. The midwife did tell me that my hcg level dropped by half (it was 6191 on sunday and only about 3000) but once I started bleeding I figured the results don't really matter. i told my boyfriend i would rather have 20 babies in a row than ever go through that again. i mean this pregnancy (and the 13 month old) were not planned but once i found out i wanted them both. i had planned on getting my tubes tied after the 13 month old but they said the only way they could do it was to give me an epidural and i didn't want one so i passed. now 'm thinking i should just do it. i don't know...i already signed my consent form and i'm pretty sure i want to do it. maybe i'ts not a decision i should be making right now. .......I'm going to bed! Thanks again, everybody. ) Michelle
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Post by Michelle on Mar 16, 2005 23:57:58 GMT -5
Me again...I should have read my post better before submitting. I meant to say the contractions were PUSHING everything out and that my boyfriend's mom is acting like I should NOT be upset since there was never a baby in the first place. Lack of sleep/deliriousness. Sorry!
Michelle
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Post by Kris on Mar 17, 2005 6:12:07 GMT -5
Hi Michelle I am so so sorry hunny. I know what you mean about people implying that there "never was a baby". That is just ignorance talking. I just want to slap people like that. We all know your grief, please stop by and vent, cry, etc. when ever you want to. As for the tubal, well I don't think you should make that decision until you are recovered from your miscarriage, both mentally and physically. But that is just my opinion.
the biggest HUGS!!
Kris 2 m/c 1 3 year old
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on Mar 17, 2005 8:52:20 GMT -5
Hi Michelle, I am so sorry that you had to go through this, and I am furious with your co-workers for taunting you about it. I cannot believe how insensitive people can be. It is outrageous. I am glad the physical pain is over for you, but the emotional pain is very difficult. My thoughts are with you. Lauren
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Post by kurby68 on Mar 17, 2005 9:41:17 GMT -5
Michelle
I am so sorry that more people do not think before they open their mouths. It is hard enough going through the emotional & physical pain of m/c but then to have to deal with people that say insensitve things is unthinkable. We all have been where you are and we understand what you are going through and if you need to rant, vent, cry or just post a note to say “hi” we are here for you.
I know that right now you are on such an emotional rollercoaster that I personally think you should wait to make any decisions about a tubal. You are hurting right now but there may come a time down the road that you are ready and would love to try again. So think on it maybe a little further down the road before you make that decision.
Please keep us posted and let us know how you are doing.
Take care
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Mar 17, 2005 14:48:51 GMT -5
Michelle, I'm so sorry you are having to go through this . I agree that you shouldn't do anyting so life altering as a tubal at this time. Give yourself at least six months and see how you feel about it then...that way you don't find that you are mad at yourself for doing something that will cost so much to reverse. The thing about there not having been a baby makes me so angry. I know it's happened to others also, because of people emailing me through my website. There WAS a baby, it just never fully formed probably due to a chromosomal defect. That baby is why your body thought you were pregnant. I hope their ignorance is something you can ignore, it's bad enough that they think that, but worse that they would actually say it. I'm so sorry {{{{{hugs}}}}}} Let us know if there is anything we can do. Lin
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Post by Michelle on Mar 17, 2005 20:11:18 GMT -5
Hi everybody. Just saying hi and thanks again for being so supportive and everything. It really makes a difference knowing that there are people like you all out there who have been through this and understand what I'm feeling/going through. I am going back to work tomorrow and I'm kind of dreading that because I know everybody knows now so I will have to deal with that all day. I hope the office manager isn't such a bitch about it but who knows. At least tomorrow is Friday! That's the only good thing about it. Well I'm just trying to keep a positive attitude and my sense of humor. Thanks again to all of you.
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Mar 17, 2005 21:08:01 GMT -5
Michelle,
You are always welcome to keep coming back and join us if you feel like you'd like some support.
I can totally relate to everyone knowing. I had to untell everyone. That look of pity just sucks...but I promise there are brighter times ahead!
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Post by kurby68 on Mar 17, 2005 21:10:07 GMT -5
Yes it is very hard telling them and the looks but it does get better. One day at a time. If you need to chat we are here for you.
Take care
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Post by Michelle on Mar 18, 2005 6:50:50 GMT -5
Hi and thanks again. I tried to register on here and it said it would email me a password but it never did. Should I try again or does anybody know anything about that? I would love to register and get to know all of you ladies.....I'm getting ready for work so I have to scoot. More later....
Michelle
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Post by kurby68 on Mar 18, 2005 7:35:38 GMT -5
Michelle it may be in your Bulk Mail folder. That is what happened to a lot of people.
Please let us know if you still have problems.
Take care
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Post by justpancho on Mar 18, 2005 16:20:11 GMT -5
Hey Michelle.. (((HUGS))).. I'm so sorry that your pregnancy ended this way. It's really hard when people around you say dumb things. My husband once said that and I got so enraged. There was a baby that I still miss even though it's been over a year. Please take care of yourself. Let us know if you need more help.
panch
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Post by hockeyhippie88 on Mar 18, 2005 23:13:55 GMT -5
Evenin' ladies. I did figure out how to register so that's cool. Just saying hi and thanks.....first day back at work went not so good. My co-workers are very sweet though they got me some tulips and a card. It's the office manager who sucks but she was all right today. I realized I went back too early though - I started hurting really bad right after lunch so I left early and came home. feeling better now, nothing a little vicodin can't fix ha ha just kidding. i just plan on resting this weekend and hope that works. Thanks again!
Michelle
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Post by kurby68 on Mar 19, 2005 0:19:52 GMT -5
Michelle
Sorry that you had a rough day. Take some time for you and rest. I am glad that you finally can login.
Take care
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on Mar 19, 2005 9:40:04 GMT -5
Hi Michelle, Sorry your first day back to work was rough. after I had my d&c I felt fine for a couple of days, and then I had a couple of days of really bad cramping and spotting. I asked people here about it, and they said that was quite normal and to just take it easy. I hope you can rest this weekend.
My thoughts are with you. I know how much this sucks for you. Best wishes, Lauren
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Post by hockeyhippie88 on Mar 19, 2005 22:09:44 GMT -5
Thanks Lauren...I wish I could have one day with no cramping. That would be nice....I've been trying to take it easy as much as possible. Thankfully I don't have to go back to work until Monday and I hope I feel like going. Thanks again...I really wasn't sure how long to expect the cramping/bleeding. The midwife said I could bleed up to a week. I didn't have a d&c though, everything came out on its own. so hopefully it will all be over soon (the physical part anyway). here's hopin!
michelle
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Post by Blighted Ovum Board Admin on Mar 19, 2005 22:41:19 GMT -5
I kind of did it both ways, they thought I had an incomplete m/c but I didn't have the D and C until more than a week after. I remember having really bad cramping and bleeding for at least 5 or 6 days. It all started on a Sunday morning and the Dr. wouldn't even see me until the following Friday (did I mention she was not my OBGYN after this was all finished?). No one told me to save anything so it was hard to tell if I'd gotten rid of it all.
Have the cramps gotten better? If I remember correctly mine were just really bad for the first few days, hopefully they will start to get better for you soon. Have you tried a heating pad? If they are still really bad I'd try that, that has always helped me. I hope you are feeling a little better.
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Post by Michelle on Mar 20, 2005 15:04:11 GMT -5
Hi Lindy.. the cramping has gotten a little better. As long as I keep taking the ibuprofen 3x a day and dont' do too much. Unfortunately I have to go to work tomorrow but I only have to work 4 days this week - we get good friday off. so that will help. also my 13 month old takes 2 hour naps in the morning and usually at least an hour in the afternoon so i have been doing the same. i know that is helpful! she is a handful when she's awake though - into everything! i'm ready to start feeling better too though! thanks again everybody....
michelle
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Post by kurby68 on Mar 20, 2005 19:17:28 GMT -5
Michelle
Glad that your cramping is getting better. I hope that you have a good week at work.
Let us know how it goes.
Take care
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Post by Robbin on Mar 20, 2005 19:28:26 GMT -5
Michelle, I am so sorry for what you are going through....insensitive ppl only make it worse. It's not easy, but know that it will get better. The E.R nurse that took care of me said that there was no reason to cry because there was never a baby. I have a very good friend who knows a lot of ppl at the hospital that I was dealing with and she made some calls and filed a complaint on my behalf. It made me feel better to think that maybe the next Mom in my position might be treated with some compassion by the staff. I also found that even the most caring ppl just can't understand the sense of loss you feel if they haven't been through it themselves. Hang in there, Michelle. I hope that you feel better soon. Robbin
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