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Post by kristen on Feb 16, 2005 22:31:13 GMT -5
I have totally lost my sex drive after so much ttc and treatment and disappointment. I feel like my marriage is suffering because of it. Anyone else experience this? We are going to counseling because my husband is such a grump all the time and I am so depressed. I had the b/o over a year ago, and stopped treatment last Summer. We are in a holding pattern till I finish my masters. I turn 38 in two days. I am so sad. I fewel my child bearing years slipping away. Adoption seems like so much money work and paperwork. Anyone else relate? We have no children together. My husband has an 18 year old from a previous relationship. So sad. Kristen L.
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Post by justpancho on Feb 16, 2005 23:44:32 GMT -5
Hey Kristen.. sorry to hear you are sad. I can really relate though. My B/O was about a year ago and we've no luck either. Had 2 surgeries since then to remove endometriosis (stage 4). The pain is daily although I try to hide it from everyone. I told myself that I would give this ttc another 6 months and then I'll have to go on bcp's. Some days I just want to give up because I hate being cranky and in pain.. but my desire to be a mother is so strong UGH. I do have a good shot at getting PG with IVF, but insurance doesn't cover it and we don't have that kind of money.
I read your other post about how hard it is some days watching others get PG. I'm too am happy for them because I know they have felt this emotional pain of losing a child, but the more time that slips away.. the sadder it makes me. I just remember the joy I felt when I was PG and wonder if it will ever happen again. For me, with this endo, I know it probably won't happen again.
Wow *wipes tear*.. didn't mean to get all sappy. I just wanted you to know that you aren't the only one out there that feels that way. My one year anniversary for my BO is coming up. I thought the due date was hard, but this one.......................
Hang in there.. ((((((HUGS)))))))
panch
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Lauren
Senior Member
Posts: 231
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Post by Lauren on Feb 17, 2005 8:43:26 GMT -5
Hi,
I can relate. Since my b/o, and even before that since we tried for over a year to get PG, having sex sometimes just reminds me of all the things I am sad about. I got pregnant by IUI, so it did not even involve sex.
I was just diagnosed with Natural Killer Cells, so next I will try doing IVIg therapy while ttc and then if I get pregnant I will continue to get iv's thru 28 weeks. Until I start the IVIg therapy I have been told to use protection when having sex, which seems so ironic since I tried for 12 months with no success.
I can also relate to feeling sad when others get PG. It is a horrible feeling to not feel happy for others. I will turn 35 in April and I am just so scared that I may never have a baby. I want to be a better person and be happy for others, but it is just not easy for me right now.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. It is a hard thing for me to admit.
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Post by kurby68 on Feb 17, 2005 9:43:55 GMT -5
Panch Lauren & Kristen. Yes it is hard. There have been times when I would have preferred to do anything rather than bd. And I am one of those that could bd almost every day. My dh liked the break but asked what was wrong. He was upset abouth mc but not the way I was. See it is our bodies and it takes a toll. What I did is just let it go. I said ok yes I want to get pg but I want the bd to be a good experience for my dh & I. So Unless I really wanted it or my dh initiated it. We didn't So there were a couple months that we bd on the wrong days and I was a little saddened by that, but I did get beyond thath. I think you get burned out when you are ttc. It alo sometimes feels like that is the only reason to ttc. My dh said that he didn't want to make it feel mechanical but loving and beautiful. I just about bawled. He hated how emotional I get sometimes but I cannot help it. After that things seemed to get better. I think the main thing is communication that helped us. As far as getting older I am 36 and I feel the clock ticking and I know that the longer it takes the less likely it will be to happen. I have 2 dd that I wouldn't trade the world for. My dh has 1 dd that he loves w/ all his heart, but we want one together. I laugh when I think that all 3 dd were unplanned and took just once bd to conceive. At least w/ my 3 yr old dd that was all it took. But now that we are trying it just doesn't seem to work. And if one more person says stop trying I may burst. And then I feel guilty sometimes because there are so many people that haven't even had the chance to be pg or have any children and I feel like I have been so blessed. But then there are other days that I am feel like I have been dumped on one too many times. As far as other women being pg. I know SO many pg women it isn't funny and last night yet another to add to the list. It is upsetting to a point that I want it so bad and I feel like it is unfair, but in honesty I am very happy for the people that are pg.
Take care
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Post by ching on Feb 17, 2005 12:52:53 GMT -5
Probably you know this already - those ovulation kit you can get from grocery stores? There's only several days we can get pg & trying would be necessary in a month anyways. I know the pressure you are feeling - that's also familiar to me. My husband always help me to take a step back to see this thing with a more clear perspective - we're so blessed to have each other in this life, and, we want an addittion to our family - if we can have that, praise God; if we can't, it's ok too, there's nothing/no one more important than my wife/hubby in my life. Just keep on loving each other & enjoy everyday. (I guess I'm writting this because I need to be reminded - a lot!!! too. )
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Post by kurby68 on Feb 17, 2005 13:14:40 GMT -5
Amen! That was well put. Ching. I think we all need to remember that.
Have a great day.
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Post by ching on Feb 17, 2005 18:03:52 GMT -5
I forgot to let y'll know - my old coworker's wife was over 40 and they finally had 2 healthy boys together & she's pg again! It didn't come easy for them at all - they had tried & tried and prayed & prayed and were so disapponit & about to give up... than, all the sudden, Lord blessed them with 3 now! My husband's boss' wife is close to 40 - she just deliverd a boy in Dec. There's hope for us - the "older" women. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer & supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." - Philippian 4:6-7 My thoughts & prayers are with you. Y'll have a great weekend.
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