Post by 2dogslong on Nov 16, 2011 14:31:12 GMT -5
Hi. I want to thank everyone for posting their stories and the admins for maintaining this site. It has helped tremendously.
I went into my 8 week ultrasound appointment thinking it would be the best moment of my life when I got to see my child's heartbeat. Instead the technician didn't say a word to me and didn't let me see any of the pictures. She wouldn't answer any questions and said my doctor would have the results the following Monday. I spent the weekend trying to convince myself that if it was bad news, surely they wouldn't make me wait all weekend... but really I knew it was over. I did catch a quick glimpse of the screen when I was adjusting and I saw a big empty circle.
The following Monday, I got a call from my doctor's receptionist and I knew from her voice that it wasn't good news. She asked if I could go in, but taking transit for an hour to be told what I already knew, and then having to get home again, wasn't all that appealing. The doctor emailed his sympathies along with a blood form requisition and asked that I go in once a week for testing.
Because I didn't see the doctor, I don't know the official diagnosis (but am assuming blighted ovum) and have had to do my own research for the options to get these "products of conception" out of me. It has been two weeks since that ultrasound appointment and I was hoping to miscarry naturally. I'm getting very impatient now and just want it over so I'm considering medication or a D&C.
I'm spotting and it's getting heavier and less brown, more red. I started to lose the pregnancy symptoms at 7.5 weeks (I'm at 10 weeks now), and there are none left. I have a heavy feeling like I'm about to have my period but there is only occasional minor cramping. If I hadn't googled so much, I'd think that it was about to happen any minute. If you spotted for a while, did you feel any different before it finally happened?
I see the doctor on Friday and would like to make an informed decision. I have read that once your hCG levels are below a certain number you WILL miscarry naturally, however, you can't believe everything you read and I can't find this information from a reliable source. Has anyone been told that this is true? I'm guessing that many people have been in this position where you were hoping to wait it out but at some point you just want it over and to get on with your life. What did your doctor advise? I'd like have some kind of formula in my head, like if my level is below 5, I wait. If above, I take action.
Emotionally, I'm ok until waves of hormones take over and I get really angry. I'm angry that this happened. I'm angry that my body didn't take care of it at 4 weeks so I could have been blissfully unaware that I conceived at all and could have tried again the next month. I'm angry that my prime childbearing years were stolen by an illness that made pregnancy out of the question, and now I'm "old". I'm angry that if I get pregnant again, a good amount of the joy will be taken out of it. I'm angry that people think that saying "It's really common" helps in any way. I'm even angry at the wind for blowing more dead leaves onto my lawn when I'm out of bags to put them in.
Just like I know when I have PMS that my mood swings and (over)reactions are due to PMS, I know that hormones (along with a natural stage of grief) are causing me to be this angry. When did you start to feel human again and able to focus on something other than the miscarriage? Grief aside, are the waves of hormone-induced emotion better after the miscarriage, or does it take some time?
C'mon cramps. Let's get this over with.
I went into my 8 week ultrasound appointment thinking it would be the best moment of my life when I got to see my child's heartbeat. Instead the technician didn't say a word to me and didn't let me see any of the pictures. She wouldn't answer any questions and said my doctor would have the results the following Monday. I spent the weekend trying to convince myself that if it was bad news, surely they wouldn't make me wait all weekend... but really I knew it was over. I did catch a quick glimpse of the screen when I was adjusting and I saw a big empty circle.
The following Monday, I got a call from my doctor's receptionist and I knew from her voice that it wasn't good news. She asked if I could go in, but taking transit for an hour to be told what I already knew, and then having to get home again, wasn't all that appealing. The doctor emailed his sympathies along with a blood form requisition and asked that I go in once a week for testing.
Because I didn't see the doctor, I don't know the official diagnosis (but am assuming blighted ovum) and have had to do my own research for the options to get these "products of conception" out of me. It has been two weeks since that ultrasound appointment and I was hoping to miscarry naturally. I'm getting very impatient now and just want it over so I'm considering medication or a D&C.
I'm spotting and it's getting heavier and less brown, more red. I started to lose the pregnancy symptoms at 7.5 weeks (I'm at 10 weeks now), and there are none left. I have a heavy feeling like I'm about to have my period but there is only occasional minor cramping. If I hadn't googled so much, I'd think that it was about to happen any minute. If you spotted for a while, did you feel any different before it finally happened?
I see the doctor on Friday and would like to make an informed decision. I have read that once your hCG levels are below a certain number you WILL miscarry naturally, however, you can't believe everything you read and I can't find this information from a reliable source. Has anyone been told that this is true? I'm guessing that many people have been in this position where you were hoping to wait it out but at some point you just want it over and to get on with your life. What did your doctor advise? I'd like have some kind of formula in my head, like if my level is below 5, I wait. If above, I take action.
Emotionally, I'm ok until waves of hormones take over and I get really angry. I'm angry that this happened. I'm angry that my body didn't take care of it at 4 weeks so I could have been blissfully unaware that I conceived at all and could have tried again the next month. I'm angry that my prime childbearing years were stolen by an illness that made pregnancy out of the question, and now I'm "old". I'm angry that if I get pregnant again, a good amount of the joy will be taken out of it. I'm angry that people think that saying "It's really common" helps in any way. I'm even angry at the wind for blowing more dead leaves onto my lawn when I'm out of bags to put them in.
Just like I know when I have PMS that my mood swings and (over)reactions are due to PMS, I know that hormones (along with a natural stage of grief) are causing me to be this angry. When did you start to feel human again and able to focus on something other than the miscarriage? Grief aside, are the waves of hormone-induced emotion better after the miscarriage, or does it take some time?
C'mon cramps. Let's get this over with.