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Post by hopingtohelp on Nov 10, 2011 17:02:49 GMT -5
Hi there everybody I have just this week been diagnosed with my second blighted ovum this year and have been sent home to wait to miscarry naturally. Of course I am praying for a miracle because barring that I will lose this one and its amazing how fast you come to love these dear little creatures. I am 10 weeks today and my last u/s showed an empty sac but a so far healthy empty sac. I am blessed I have one 15 y/o son and a one y/o daughter, but yesterday the specialist told me a possible cause for repeated b/o is a varicose vein in the husbands left testicle. He explained in quite some detail and said that options for me going forward is to have my husband checked for this and have the vein snipped or look at insemination to side step immature or unhealthy sperm fertilizing an egg. I personally am not sure if I am even going to try again. It is just so painful coping with losing them ... but I thought there may just be someone out there that this information might benefit. Wishing you all the best.
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Nov 11, 2011 9:38:40 GMT -5
I am sorry for your loss. It does not get easier the second time. Many of us have had more than one loss. It hurts when it happens and never completely goes away. I am currently TTC #3 and am horribly scared of going through the losses again but I know in the end it is worth it. I hope you do not have to wait to long for everything to be over. We are here for you if you need us. (((HUGS)))
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Post by hopingtohelp on Nov 11, 2011 16:09:24 GMT -5
I am a little torn, I do so want a little sibling for Zoe my 1 y/o but I know I would just be so upset if I went through this again. With my first b/o I wasn't sick at all. Not so this time I am still nauseous so you can go through so much and then still m/c. Part of me thinks I am getting too old for this and another part just doesn't want to run the risk of having to grieve another loss. I don't have trouble falling pregnant, both b/o have been this year, and I don't want to do that again. I pray that you will have no problems falling and that all will be fine
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Nov 13, 2011 10:57:54 GMT -5
I completely understand how you feel. DH was certain he did not want anymore after DS was born and when he changed his mind and said he wanted a 3rd my gut response was no because I did not want to go through all that again. Later I looked at my little miracles and decided that no matter what I had to go through it was worth it. I had at least one loss before I had each of my boys. The ladies on here are a great support when trying to TTC or are pg after loss. They were so supportive when we were trying for DS and they are still so much help when it comes to this time too. We all understand how hard it is going through a loss, TTC or pg. No matter what you decide we are here for you and understand your pain. With my BO I had symptoms right up until I took the pills to mc at 14 wks. the last time I got sick with that pg was the day I took the pills. It sucks because it feels like your body is betraying you. You still feel pg but you know that you really aren't anymore. Take care of yourself and keep us updated. (((HUGS)))
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Post by hopingtohelp on Nov 13, 2011 19:58:17 GMT -5
No sign of m/c yet. Still I am not ready to let go of this one yet. I figure I will jump that hurdle when I get there. It is so strange to feel so pregnant and know you are going through it for no good reason and because we decided not to announce it this time until we had a heart beat on an ultrasound not many people know what I am going through which is good and bad all at once. Take care.
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Post by ashley11 on Nov 14, 2011 19:42:57 GMT -5
I am so sorry to hear about your struggles I feel your pain. I am at the end of the process of my second blighted ovum. The last 3 weeks have been a huge change and many turns. They have completed a few test on my husband and I to check out a few basic things and everything checks out fine. This was also my second in one year my first ended in Jan. 8weeks and this one estimated at 9 weeks. I hope and pray that all turns out healthy. I do not have any children but I too am so scared to go through this all again. Thoughts are with you.
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Post by hopingtohelp on Nov 14, 2011 21:50:54 GMT -5
I really feel for you Ashley. I do understand both times when they told me I was in utter shock because I thought m/c was what happened to someone else. My last one ended in Aug at about 11 1/2 weeks and I was pregnant again after only one cycle. For me the scary thing is if I don't want to face the possibility of going through this again I will have to act fast or I will be pregnant again in no time and facing the same terrible emotional roller coaster. I am currently about 10 weeks but the doctor said at the scan last week the sac still looked healthy so he guestimated about a week for m/c to start but who knows. I wish you every happiness and am sorry for all you have been through.
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Post by justinsmomma on Nov 19, 2011 10:55:37 GMT -5
Big HUGS hun! I had to weigh it all out after my 4th loss, this last September 2010. I know what you are going through. My egg quality tests came back poor and I got my answer but it was heartwrenching. So sorry for your losses ;(
HUGS
Kris
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Post by hopingtohelp on Nov 22, 2011 18:20:00 GMT -5
Just got out of hospital last night. Have had a horrible yesterday. Hemorrhaging, then needed two drips as my b/p was dropping. Then in for a d & c to remove what was still left. Woke up feeling like a dry leaf, was sick a couple of times and felt half dead with fatigue anytime I was awake for the rest of the day. I was crying as I came out of the anesthetic as I knew my little one was gone. Had such a horrendous night that I was all lined up to go for a tube tying and this morning the obstetrician was saying even two consecutive b/o's don't mean you can't have another healthy baby considering as that I have had two successful pregnancies ... so now this morning am once again confused about what direction to go in but have come to the conclusion now is still a bad time to make that call. All you ladies who have the faith and the inclination to, please pray, I believe you can never have too much prayer. Love to all
Jen
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Post by Heather (hlam) on Nov 22, 2011 18:47:18 GMT -5
So sorry for how things went for you. I agree that now is not the time to make any decisions on what you want to do. You need some time to work through all your thoughts and feelings!!!! Sending prayers your way.... Hugs!
Take Care!
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Nov 22, 2011 18:50:43 GMT -5
I know what you are going through and you are right it is better to give yourself time to heal before you make any decisions. I am sorry that on top of your loss you had to go through all that. Like I said before I had a loss a healthy boy 3 more losses and another healthy boy and DH was certain he didn't want anymore and I had pretty much come to terms with that and when he said another one I was floored and my immidiate emotional response was no I don't want to go through that again. After a few days thinking about it I decided it was worth the risk to get another lo but for each of us the decision is hard. I am sending all the good thoughts I can your way for a speedy recovery and help finding some measure of peace. (((HUGS)))
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Post by justinsmomma on Nov 23, 2011 8:16:54 GMT -5
Praying hun, I am so very sorry! When I had my 2nd son, I was hemorrhaging and I begged for a tubal, too. I then went on to get pregnant by surprise 2 more times but lost both babies (I have a LOT of underlying health conditions, tho) I swore I didn't want any more kids, but then once I got PG I got so excited about it, in spite of my near death delivering my 2nd and my losses.
I am here if you want to talk, I am a trained Christian caregiver. Let me know! It doesn't have to be religious based, I am just a miscarriage survivor x4 who can help.
HUGS
Kris
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Post by lfischer on Nov 23, 2011 10:04:10 GMT -5
{{{Hugs}}} I'm so sorry that things are so difficult. You definitely need to take time to heal emotionally and physically. Please know that we are here for you every step of the way.
Tight hugs and prayers~ Leah
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Post by ashley11 on Dec 9, 2011 17:21:48 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your pain! My prayers are with you. You are the one to make any call you feel is best for you. Now that I have had 2 BO everyone around me is doing research and thinks they can fix it and figure out why. They are trying to help and want me to try again the minute I can but there is alot of fear there that it could happen again. I hope you decide what you think is right for your body and health!! Take care and hope you have healed physically and began the emotional climb. xoxoxo
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Post by hopingtohelp on Dec 9, 2011 20:20:33 GMT -5
Thanks so much for your kind words. People are always full of advice whatever you are going through, but in the end the only one who has to go through your life is you and only you can know what the right choice is for your circumstances. I think if I had not promised my dh after the first b/o that I wouldn't try again after the second I would probably just take a break and try again, but I did promise and he wasn't so keen about another one. But even if I was going to try again I couldn't pretend that I wouldn't be very afraid of the same thing happening again and each time is so very hard. I hope for you that you ignore the people around you who aren't going to have to live with the consequences of either pg or another loss take time and pray until you have peace and make the decision that is right for you. Feel free to email me through this site if you ever just wanna talk. My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you. xoxoxo Jen.
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