robd
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by robd on Mar 9, 2011 17:37:02 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I don't see many guys posting in here but I decided to reach out for some advice. My fiancee and I are pregnant with our first child(her second). We had originally thought we had concieved in December due to her being on antibiotics and us not using a backup method. We went in for some genetic counseling and our first ultrasound and were told that we had a BO. We were advised that we should look at either a D&C or taking a pill of some kind to help the miscarriage process along. The news was delivered to us in a cold, uncaring way and we were honestly really confused. They scheduled an appointment with her ob/gyn to make the arrangements and got a wonderful nurse who sat us down and took the time to really explain everything to us. We started talking about dates and now we aren't really sure that it happened in December. She had what had been passing as her period in January(extremely light and not on time) but this was how her periods had been for the last 5 or 6 months since she switched to a new bc. The nurse thinks that we may have concieved either on Feb 2 or Feb 5 and advised us to wait it out. That would make us only 5 weeks and a couple of days preg. Is that too early for them to see anything on the us? There was a sack but they said it was empty and I'm wondering if they could have seen it even if it was there? At what point is it realistic to expect them to be able to see something? Also, why do due date calculators and those little circle things the doctors use keep saying we are at like 7 weeks? I'm no expert but 32 days is not seven weeks.
Thanks for your help in advance!
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Post by ljcbrown on Mar 9, 2011 18:49:30 GMT -5
First off I'm sorry that you guys are going through this. I was originally diagnosed with a BO at 6 weeks but my doctor wanted to wait a couple more weeks and do a repeat u/s because we weren't sure about our dates. Two weeks later we did a repeat and the sac was still empty so we were officially diagnosed with a BO. If it were me I would definitley wait at least a couple of weeks before taking any measures to induce miscarriage.
I chose to wait and miscarry naturally which was very emotionally draining but the best choice for me. I finally started miscarrying at almost 12 weeks. Again, I'm sorry that you're going through this but try to stay strong.
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Post by existential27 on Mar 9, 2011 20:03:55 GMT -5
I'm also sorry you are going through this. If you guys are uncertain of your dates, your best bet is to wait a week or 2 and have another ultrasound. That will show if there is any growth/development from the first ultrasound. If there is no change after a week or 2, then that does really point at it being a BO. Some women have more than one follow-up ultrasound to confirm the diagnosis. I always tell people to get all the confirmation you need because you can't go back and reverse a D&C or medications to help with miscarriage. Your fiancee is early enough that there are very few risks in waiting a couple weeks to see if the pregnancy is developing as it should. Once women get more into the 11-12 week range and beyond, there can be more risks of heavy bleeding/hemorrhage with miscarriage, but by then you really should have a clear answer.
There really isn't much to see at 5 weeks. The fetal pole and heartbeat tend not to be seen until around 6 weeks at the earliest, and more commonly by 6 1/2 to 7 weeks. Pregnancy is actually dated from the first day of the last menstrual period, so a woman who found out she was pregnant on the day she missed her period would be considered 4 weeks pregnant. Or, you could also look at it as a woman being considered 2 weeks pregnant on the day she actually conceives. It is kind of strange, but that's how it's done for whatever reason.
I hope things work out for you and your fiancee!
KC
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Post by mzr on Mar 10, 2011 8:31:18 GMT -5
Hi Rob- You are right, there are not a lot of men who post on this board and I hope that a bunch of women can offer you and your fiancee the advice and support you are looking for. I am so sorry for this rollercoaster you guys have been on. And, as a genetic counselor, I am sorry that you were treated in a cold and indifferent manner by your healthcare providers.
As KC said, they date pregnancies based on last menstrual period (LMP) in the US so that is why they are telling you 7 weeks instead of 5. It is one of the reasons that doctors like to do a first trimester ultrasound now to date the pregnancy because the traditional dating with the wheel is based on a 28 day cycle which, obviously, not all women share.
As for your question about what should have been seen on u/s, this early in a pregnancy (assuming your fiancee did conceive in Feb instead of Dec) days really do matter from a fetal perspective. Fetal circulation (a heart beat) starts at 27-28 days post conception. This is why, as KC said, it wouldn't be seen before 6 weeks LMP. Do, most docs will not schedule an u/s before 7wks LMP just to be sure. But since you and your fiancee aren't sure of dates, a day or two really does matter.
When you and she decide to "give up hope" really depends on you and your gut feelings. For me, like the other ladies mentioned above, I chose to wait 2 more weeks for a second u/s to confirm the diagnosis before making a decision to have a D&C. I was past 8 weeks at that point, the sac was measuring 8 weeks, but there was no HB or any sign of fetal development. But I had also been having my HCG levels monitored during those 2 weeks and my levels were not doubling at the expected rate, which was another sign that the pregnancy wasn't healthy. I'm not sure if your doc has offered this to you.
Take care and know that we are here for either of you during this emotional time, Marisa
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kel023
Junior Member
Posts: 88
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Post by kel023 on Mar 10, 2011 9:00:41 GMT -5
I agree with the other ladies. If you are unsure of your dates, I would wait at least one more week, go back in for another u/s, and get the confirmation that you need. At least that way you will know one way or the other. Like KC was saying though, you start calculating pregnancy from the first day of her last period. If the nurse is telling you that she thinks you guys conceived around Feb. 2-5th she's basing that off your fiance's last period in January. That's going to put her somewhere b/t 6 and 7 weeks as of today. I didn't catch when you said your fiance had her first u/s but it's "possible" to see the heartbeat around 5 1/2 weeks but it's definitely more likely to see it b/t weeks 6 and 7... so she may want to go back just for a double look. I too was diagnosed w/ a BO around 6 1/2 weeks but still wish I would have waited one more week before inducing m/c. I know that it wouldn't have changed anything b/c at that point they really should have been seeing something but it would have been nice to get the confirmation. I ended up taking the pill you mentioned (misoprostol) to assist in the m/c process. My doctor told me that if I m/c'd naturally there would be the possibility that I would still need a D&C if I didn't pass everything completely. I was scared and wanted to avoid a D&C so I found the pill to be the best option for me. I was able to take it in the privacy of my home and the doctor gave me some pain pills for cramping. If I ever had another BO, I would choose to m/c the same way but it's a personal choice for everyone. I really truly hope that a BO is not the case for you and your fiance and I will continue to hold out hope for you guys. I also want to say how awesome it is that you have come on this board searching for advice. It shows how much you care about her, which is so wonderful. You're going to make a great husband! Take care, Kel
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robd
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by robd on Jun 4, 2012 5:48:16 GMT -5
Woke up this morning to two positive pregnancy tests sitting on the sink in the bathroom. We have been off bc and not trying to prevent a pregnancy for a year....now comes the waiting game until we can see an ultrasound.
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Post by rita828 on Jun 5, 2012 20:07:02 GMT -5
Rob,
Congrats on the BFP! I hope you don't mind but I would like to give you some advice on what you may be experiencing in the upcoming weeks/months.
I can tell you that when I got pregnant after my BO I was a nervous wreck. I was afraid to get attached to the child for fear that I would lose it again. Every time I went to the bathroom I was afraid to wipe for fear that I would see spotting again.
The innocence of being pregnant is gone once you miscarry. I drove my husband crazy because up until the last trimester I was worried sick that something would go wrong.
Some women may react differently when pregnant again but just know that if she is an emotional wreck it is perfectly normal.
Hang in there and just know we will be crossing our fingers and praying that all goes well.
Anita
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Post by hopingtohelp on Jul 16, 2012 21:42:26 GMT -5
Congratulations, hoping and praying all goes well for you this time.
Jen
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Jul 19, 2012 21:13:29 GMT -5
Congrats we all love to hear good news keep us updated!
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