Post by bearcubmama on Apr 17, 2013 22:59:59 GMT -5
Hi, I'm new to this forum and thankful to find it tonight. Last year, after trying to conceive for 2 1/2 years after our second sweet babe, we suffered four miscarriages in a row. The first took place at 10 weeks and the second at 7 weeks. Both of these were very painful natural MCs. These were followed by one at 5 weeks and another at 6 weeks--both of which were classified as chemical pregnancies by my OBGYN because they were so early to take place.
I am struggling tonight because a friend of mine is getting ready to get induced to give birth to the baby she conceived around the time of my second MC. She had a miscarriage around the same time as me then went on to conceive the very next month. I watched here belly grow as I went on to have two more losses. I am sick to my stomach tonight as I think about having to face her and her baby and try to appear okay. I'm not okay. I'm hurting and this is just a reminder that I want more children and, for whatever reason (no good explanation after a slew of tests), I cannot.
I have just felt so incredibly lonely in all this. Of all the women I know who have had MC, all of them have gone on to have healthy pregnancies thereafter--most of them within a month or two. I know at least six other women pregnant with their third and fourth babies right now. I've been told time and again, "Oh, you should be thankful that you have two sweet blessings. " And because I have a son with type 1 diabetes, I have also gotten the , "Oh, well God must think you have your hands full" response--as though this makes me feel any better. So I have my hands full at two while I have friends in challenging situations who are still having their third, fourth and fifth babies. I must be an incompetent mother then.... ? I know the words are well intentioned, but more often than not they feel like jabs to the gut.
DH and I have wanted to have a large family ever since we had our first nearly 7 years ago and we are still waiting for that. We do have our sweet DS with type 1 and our DD, but we really thought we would have more by now. We plan to adopt in the next couple years, but what really scares me is that I feel like I won't really heal until I hold another baby. I've made a lot of progress, but after having our DS diagnosed with type 1 diabetes two years ago and then having the 4 MC the following year, I am so raw when it comes to other people I know having babies. I nearly cried as I sat talking to my neighbor because I couldn't take my eyes off of her belly-pregnant with her 3rd. And who knows how long it will be until we can actually adopt?....
What do I do? I want to be a good friend but I don't know how....
I am struggling tonight because a friend of mine is getting ready to get induced to give birth to the baby she conceived around the time of my second MC. She had a miscarriage around the same time as me then went on to conceive the very next month. I watched here belly grow as I went on to have two more losses. I am sick to my stomach tonight as I think about having to face her and her baby and try to appear okay. I'm not okay. I'm hurting and this is just a reminder that I want more children and, for whatever reason (no good explanation after a slew of tests), I cannot.
I have just felt so incredibly lonely in all this. Of all the women I know who have had MC, all of them have gone on to have healthy pregnancies thereafter--most of them within a month or two. I know at least six other women pregnant with their third and fourth babies right now. I've been told time and again, "Oh, you should be thankful that you have two sweet blessings. " And because I have a son with type 1 diabetes, I have also gotten the , "Oh, well God must think you have your hands full" response--as though this makes me feel any better. So I have my hands full at two while I have friends in challenging situations who are still having their third, fourth and fifth babies. I must be an incompetent mother then.... ? I know the words are well intentioned, but more often than not they feel like jabs to the gut.
DH and I have wanted to have a large family ever since we had our first nearly 7 years ago and we are still waiting for that. We do have our sweet DS with type 1 and our DD, but we really thought we would have more by now. We plan to adopt in the next couple years, but what really scares me is that I feel like I won't really heal until I hold another baby. I've made a lot of progress, but after having our DS diagnosed with type 1 diabetes two years ago and then having the 4 MC the following year, I am so raw when it comes to other people I know having babies. I nearly cried as I sat talking to my neighbor because I couldn't take my eyes off of her belly-pregnant with her 3rd. And who knows how long it will be until we can actually adopt?....
What do I do? I want to be a good friend but I don't know how....