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Post by journey2006 on Oct 16, 2006 19:50:47 GMT -5
I just found this site and I wanted to share my story.
I am 26 years old. Last December, I became very tired and my body stayed very warm. One day I thought that I had food posioning, but no one else who ate the food was sick. I was so embarrassed during Christmas Shopping season at the mall, because I vomitted a lot in the middle of the mall. (I tried to make it to the restroom.) I figured something was wrong with me since I was so tired, so I decided to take a HPT - but I didn't really expect it to be postitive. (Mainly because it took me two years to get pregnant with my 1st child {6yrs. ago}; it was a year and a half of trying to get pregnant; and I took a test only 3 days after my period was due.)
I Found out I was 5 weeks Pregnant right after Christmas 2005! (A great surprise...2nd baby) I told everyone at work and church. My husband & I really wanted to have a baby.
- At 6 weeks preg. I body changed instantly to looking like I was 2 months preg. I had to wear maternity clothes already! (keep in mind that I am only 5'0 tall, pettie, and 107lbs.) Severe morning sickness, very tired, my hair grew super fast about 5 inches from dec.2005 - feb. 2006).....just a weird pregnancy altogether.....everything with my body happen sooner than it was supposed to. And my body stayed very warm and my lower back hurted.....I was worried, but stayed postitive.
- First doctor's visit was early Feb, I was 12 wks preg.. and the doc. said that my uterus was the size of a 8wk preg. uterus. And there was no heartbeat. But she didn't think anything was wrong. My next prenatal checkup was in March.
- Mar.1st 2006 I started to bleed, but no pain or anything. I called the doc. and went to get check out. The doc. couldn't find the baby's heartbeat, so they did a sonogram to check the baby. There was no heartbeat, and no baby inside; just a mixture of fluids, tissue, etc. I looked at my husband and started crying. The doctor said that it was a blighted ovum. Of course I cried the rest of the day.
The doc. said that the baby died around 6 to 8 wks. and the placenta was continuing to function as if there was still alive baby inside my uterus. The doc. said that since the baby died so early and the results of the songram, that I didn't need a D&C. The doc. said that everything would come out naturally.
The nurse who did the songram, stated that I needed a D&C because nothing was coming out and I had a lot of stuff in my uterus. I was put on bedrest because the natural process of the miscarriage was about to happen.
The natural miscarriage process didn't happen. And my lower back continued to hurt.
I visited the doc. again during Mar. and he stated the same as the above, as did the nurse who did the songram. The doc. told me to come back for a check up on April 3 because by then everything will have come out by then.
The problem that I was having was that nothing was happening naturally, I was not in any pain, nor any bleeding occurred.
- April 1st 2006 My husband and I were shopping at Wal-mart and I began to hemmorage(sp?) very badly. I got to the ER and without going into too much detail, I lost almost all of my blood. My blood pressure went very low. I was dying....it was the worst feeling that I have ever had in my life! I was given an infusion to get my blood count higher. The doctor on call came in an had to hurry up and stop the bleeding, so he basically did a D&C with me fully awake and no meds! ouch! If he didn't work on me ASAP then I would have bleed to death. Once the D&C was completed, my lower back pain went away.....what a relief! So I guess that the all the blood clots build up cause my back to hurt from Dec. 2005 until April 2006. The doctor showed me what looked to be part of the fetus and put it in a jar for testing.<< My fetus was the "blood clots" that caused my back to hurt. This is still hard to think about.
Let's just say that I was very angry at the doc. from the clinic, because he said that there was no need for a D&C. I know that doctor's can misdiganose, but there was a lot of stuff inside me---not a little bit. The doc. in the ER was very nice and comforted me as much as he could through the whole ordeal.
It takes 4 wks for blood to regenerate itself. So, now I am anemic(sp?), I have very bad headaches everyday, and I have hardly any strength to do anything because of losing so much blood. My skin was very pale, I guess you could say that I had just enough blood in body to be considered alive without needing an IV.
Well, I am happy to be alive. All of this has been hard to deal with. It is already hard to lose my baby, then to almost lose my own life. I am trying to stay positive. Several of my friends & family were pregnant or just had their babies, so it was very, very hard to be happy for them.
My husband wants me to be pregnant ASAP! But I just don't feel the same way. Several monts later now, I am still anemic and emotionally not ready, but at the same time I want a baby.
Thanks for listening to my story. Take care.
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Post by jessi143 on Nov 14, 2006 10:17:30 GMT -5
My name is Jess and I am 30 years old. I live in England with my husband Ben. We were married in September 2005 and we started TTC in August 2006, but stopped when I got offered a job for a year in Los Angeles, which we very much wanted to take up. At the time we thought that I wasn't yet pregnant, because I had been having periods as normal. However, shortly before I was about to sign on the dotted line for the LA job, I decided to do an HPT as my BBs were so sore and that was unusual for me. It came back positive and we struggled for a bit with the disappointment of not being able to move to the US and the uncertainty of the pregnancy, which never felt quite right to me, not least because of the 'period' I had had at 5 weeks in. I was told this was likely an 'implantation bleed' and not to worry. If only I had insisted on an early scan at 7 weeks.
For the next 5 weeks or so, we started to focus 100% on the baby and the wait until the 12 week scan was excruciating. I tried not to get too excited as something still felt a bit strange, but as I had never been pregnant before, how was I to know what was normal? I did let myself think about the baby and how happy I would be if everything was OK. DH was also excited.
On the day of my scan, I was very very nervous and the pressure and anticipation that I experienced while waiting to be called was almost unbearable. I was sobbing before the sonographer even got the gel onto my tummy!! What we saw was a big black sac, which the sonographer proceeded to measure in silence. She then said that I must have had a premonition about this, and confirmed what we could already see for ourselves, that there was a sac, but no baby inside. In an instant, my concern was for my DH and I remember looking at him taking it in, and trying to process it, which wasn't very nice at all.
I had an ERPC (D&E or D&C? Not sure!) the next day. I am now recovering at home and taking an awful lot of comfort from this site. I only happened upon in yesterday after days of searching for appropriate sites, so I am very happy to have found it now.
All the stories on here fill me with sadness, but many of them fill me with immense hope. I know now that having a baby is my number one priority and if I go on to have a healthy baby, I will feel like the luckiest girl alive.
Here's wishing everyone all the very best. I hope I can offer words of support to some of you, in the same way as others have done for me.
Jess
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Post by mzr on Nov 14, 2006 12:51:46 GMT -5
My name is Marisa and I will be 30 in January. I start this way because I always thought I'd have a kid before I was 30. Then, when I turned 29 and I was still in grad school I thought, well, at least I'll be pregnant before I'm 30. I graduated in May and went off the pill in June. In August I missed my period but was still shocked when we got a BFP! We scheduled an appointment with our PCP to have blood drawn to confirm the pregnancy. Our first appt was August 20 - I'll never forget that date.
The test came back and I remember the doctor saying, "Hmmm... your levels are not what we would expect. Maybe this is your body's 'dry run'. But the good news is you can get pregnant." My degree is in genetic counseling and I studied pregnancy loss but I still had no idea what he was talking about. I guess you just don't believe it can happen to you. We had blood drawn again 3 days later to see if the levels were rising normally and, sure enough they were. So, we thought the doctor made a mistake and we were going to have a baby. We got all excited, told our parents and some close friends.
Sept 8 - another day I'll never forget. I was having pain in my ovaries so my doctor recommended an u/s to make sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy. Instead - they saw an ovarian cyst and an empty sac in my uterus. The sac was measuring 6wks and, since that matched with my last menstrual period, the doctor said, "I think it's time you go to an OB and talk about it. This could very well be a blighted ovum or it could just be too early to see anything." Sept 22 - I had to wait 2 weeks to get into the OB's office. When I got there, the nurse said, "CONGRATULATIONS. Is this your first pg." I started crying. The stupid receptionist had just scheduled an appointment and had not made a note of the reason I was being referred to the office. I told the nurse the story while she half-heartedly apologized for not knowing. One of the OBs (not the one I was scheduled to see) did an u/s and sure enough - BO. I scheduled my D&C for the following Monday, 9/25. The procedure was painless for me physically but emotionally I was (and am) a wreck. My due date was my grandmother's birthday - she died 6 years ago - and I was sure the baby was a girl, a reincarnation of her spirit if that makes any sense. Now, I feel like I've not only lost my baby but I've lost my grandmother all over again. And, the day after my D&C, I found out one of my best friend's is pregnant. And two weeks ago, she told us she is having twins. So, I'm grieving for many reasons. I am asking many "what ifs".
It has been such an emotional rollercoaster and here I am, 7 weeks later, and I still cry myself to sleep many nights. I still don't have my first AF yet so I still don't feel like my body is ready to move on like my head is. I know the pain will subside with time and my DH is incredibly supportive. On a positive note, I think this experience has brought us closer together on many levels and made us a stronger team. I think these experiences really teach you who you can trust and the strength we have within. Of course, despite everything I've learned in the last few months, I'd trade it all to have the "innocence" of pg back.
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Post by lfischer on Nov 14, 2006 13:14:06 GMT -5
Hi - my name is Leah and I am 37 years old. My husband and I found out we were expecting our 3rd child on October 4, 2006. This had come after 5 years of TTC. We were so excited and couldn't wait to share the news. However, something told me to wait - just an inner feeling that I had. We did share the news with our parents two weeks later and both sets were thrilled.
My first doctor appointment was on October 25th. Everything was good and he confirmed that I was 9 weeks pregnant. However, I still had not put on any weight - in fact I had lost weight - and I didn't feel as sick as my previous two pregnancies. I was just terribly fatigued all the time. I was hoping that it was just an easy pregnancy and the only trouble I would have would be the fatigue.
On Oct 31st I had discharge that was streaked with brown. It concerned me, but I felt that it could be old blood from the exam the week before. I went to work the next day and my discharge became bloody. I called the doctor immediately and they asked me to come in right away. I explained what was happening and the doctor said that in most cases everything was ok and that we would talk about how to prevent some things, but he wanted to do an ultra sound. He did the ultra sound and all that was seen was an empty sac. My DH and I were not prepared for that, nor was the doctor. Everyone was taken by total surprise. My doctor thought that maybe I just wasn't as pregnant as I thought I was, however I knew that couldn't be the case. They tested my HCG levels on that day and then 2 days later. They had dropped to half of what they were and the BO was confirmed.
One of the hardest things was to tell our 2 children who are 11 and 9. We had not told them about the pregnancy and therefore had to tell them everything at once. We tried to put it in terms that they would understand and they had lots of questions. But, it also helped me to face the reality of the situation.
The day the BO was confirmed, I went to the hospital for the D & C. The D & C procedure was very easy physically for me and I have not had any pain or complications in the 11 days since the procedure.
My heart still aches for the baby that we lost, but I am finding comfort and hope in the stories of the other women on this board. My DH and I have decided to continue to TTC and our hope is that it will happen soon.
My thoughts and prayers are with each and everyone of you!
Leah
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jenna
New Member
Posts: 12
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Post by jenna on Nov 20, 2006 21:23:01 GMT -5
HI EVERYONE, I HAVE READ MOST OF THE STORIES HERE BUT NEVER POSTED MY OWN. YOUR STORIES REALLY HIT ME HARD, I AM CRYING NOW JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU HAVE WENT THROUGH.
I THOUGHT I WOULD POST MY STORY HERE TOO, I FIND IT HELPS TALKING ABOUT IT WITH WOMEN WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED SIMILAR LOSSES.
MY NAME IS JENNA, AND I AM 30 YEARS OLD. WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CONCEIVE SINCE OCTOBER 2002. WE WERE MARRIED IN AUGUST THAT SAME YEAR.
I GOT PREGNANT AFTER 0NLY 3 MONTHS OF TRYING. WE WERE ESTATIC, FRIENDS OF OURS WERE ALSO EXPECTING AND WE LOOKED FORWARD TO RAISING OUR CHILDREN TOGETHER. AT 11 WEEKS I STARTED HAVING SOME BROWN SPOTTING, I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL WHERE I WAS TOLD I HAD A BLIGHTED OVUM. I NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT THIS MEANT, BUT I KNEW IT WAS THE END OF MY PREGNANCY. I HAD A D&C, BUT THEY DIDN'T REMOVE ALL OF THE TISSUE. I NEVER HAD A PERIOD FOR 5 MONTHS, FINALLY THEY GOT ME TO TAKE A MEDICATION TO INDUCE A PERIOD. I WAS A COMPLETE MESS PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY FOR 1 YEAR. MY CYCLES TOOK A LONG TIME TO GO BACK TO NORMAL, AND I WASN'T READY TO TRY AGAIN.
AFTER THE YEAR WAS OVER WE DECIDED TO GIVE IT ANOTHER CHANCE. WE TRIED FOR A FULL YEAR WITH NO LUCK. MY DR. REFERRED US TO A FERTILITY SPECIALIST WHO DID ALOT OF DIFFERENT TESTS ON BOTH ME AND DH. IT TURNS OUT DH HAD A VERY LOW COUNT AND MOTILITY, SO LOW THAT THEY WERE SURPRISED WE GOT PREGNANT ON OUR OWN. THEY SCHEDULED ME FOR IVF, SAYING THIS WAS OUR BEST CHANCE OF GETTING PREGNANT. SO WE DECIDED TO GO FOR IT.
I WAS PRESCRIBED ALL SORTS OF DRUGS, INJECTIBLES, PILLS, VITAMINS TO GET MY BODY PREPARED. ABOUT 1 WEEK BEFORE I WAS SCHEDULED TO HAVE THE PROCEDURE, I FOUND OUT THAT THE PHARMACY HAD FILLED MY PRESCRIPTION WRONG AND THAT I HAD BEEN TAKING A DOULBLE DOSE OF SOME OF MY MEDICATIONS. WE WERE DEVASTATED. I CAN'T DESCRIBE THE FEELING THAT CAME OVER ME WHEN MY DR PHONED ME AT HOME TO TELL ME THAT THEY HAD MADE A MISTAKE WITH MY MEDICATION. I HAD TO GO FOR U/S AND BLOODWORK EVERYDAY SINCE THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT EFFECT THE MEDICATION WAS GOING TO HAVE ON MY SYSTEM. THEY TOLD ME TO BE PREPARED THAT THIS PROCEDURE MAY BE CANCELLED.
I CRIED EVERY DAY, I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP. I WAS UNDER SO MUCH STRESS, I FELT SICK EVERYDAY. THE PROCEDURE WASN'T CANCELLED, THEY WENT AHEAD AND IMPLANTED TWO EMBRYO'S IN MY BODY. I GOT TO SEE THEM ON A COMPUTOR SCREEN BEFORE THEY IMPLANTED THEM. I NEVER COULD GET A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THE WHOLE THING, I KNEW DEEP DOWN THAT MY BODY WAS JUST TO FOOLED UP FROM THE MEDICATION FOR IT TO WORK. I CRIED EVERYDAY AFTER UNTIL AF CAME 2 WEEKS LATER. IT WAS ONE OF THE WORST EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE. I ASKED FOR A CHART REVIEW TO BE DONE, TO SEE IF THE ERRORS WERE THE CAUSE OF THE FAILURE, THEY WOULDN'T ADMIT TO ANYTHING.
SO AFTER THAT WE GAVE UP TRYING TO CONCEIVE. WE DECIDED THAT WE HAD DONE ALL WE COULD DO AND WE HAD TO EXCEPT THE FACT THAT WE WERE NOT GOING TO HAVE A BABY.
THEN TO OUR GREAT SURPRISE, 3 MONTHS AFTER THE FAILED IVF CYCLE, MY PERIOD WAS LATE, I DID A TEST AND IT WAS POSITIVE. WE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. WE NEVER TOLD OUR FAMILIES BECAUSE WE WANTED TO BE SURE THIS TIME THAT EVERYTHING WAS GOING WELL. I STARTED SPOTTING AT 5 WEEKS. I WAS DEVASTATED. ANOTHER TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL, ANOTHER BLIGHTED OVUM. I CRIED TO GOD, "WHY ME", "WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?" I PASSED THE CONTENTS NATURALLY BUT STILL NEEDED MEDICATION TO INDUCE A PERIOD. I WAS A TOTAL WRECK, MY HUSBAND COULDN'T CONSOLE ME, I SUNK INTO A DEPRESSION. FOR SIX MONTHS I WAS LIKE A ZOMBIE.
THEN I PUT MY TROUBLES INTO GOD'S HANDS. I SAID I NEED HELP, I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS BY MYSELF. I HAVE DECIDED THAT HE DOESN'T GIVE US ANYTHING WE CAN'T HANDLE AND THAT I HAVE BECOME A STRONGER PERSON BECAUSE OF MY EXPERIENCES.
I HAVE BEEN REFERRED TO THE BEST DR IN THE FIELD, WE HAVE HAD MORE TESTING, SO FAR EVERYTHING IS NORMAL. EVEN DH'S MOTILITY AND COUNT WERE NORMAL. THE DR IS VERY POSITIVE, AND TELLS ME TO BE POSITIVE. HE IS A BIG BELIEVER IN POSITIVE VIBES. I AM GOING THROUGH A IUI THIS MONTH, I GO FOR MY FIRST U/S TOMORROW TO SEE HOW MY FOLLICLES ARE DEVELOPING. I AM TRYING TO BE POSITIVE, BUT IT IS VERY HARD. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO DOESN'T WANT ANY CHILDREN, AND I SAY WHY COULDN'T THAT BE ME? BUT I CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT BEING A MOM.
SO FOR NOW I AM STILL WAITING FOR A MIRACLE, A MIRACLE I HOPE DR. WILL BE ABLE TO GIVE ME. AND I PRAY EVERY NIGHT FOR STRENGTH TO HELP ME SURVIVE THIS.
I FIND THIS SITE SO HELPFUL, READING YOUR STORIES, HEARING ABOUT YOUR SUCCESS, IT GIVES ME HOPE.
I HOPE WE ALL GET OUR MIRACLES,
TAKE CARE, YOU ARE ALL IN MY THOUGHTS, JENNA
30 YEARS OLD TTC 4 YEARS BO MAR 2003 BO MAR 2006 3 FAILED IUI'S MAY- AUG 2005 FAILED IVF NOV 2005
TTC AGAIN
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Post by tengie30 on Nov 21, 2006 13:54:13 GMT -5
My name is Tengie and I just turned 30 on 10/24, I live in South Carolina. I have been married for 9 years to my DH. I have a DS who is 8 and a DD who is 4. My DH and I decided on a whim, that we wanted to try for a third. I got off of birth control (Ortho-Evra patch) in May and we did not start TTC until July and needless to say I got PG right away, that same month. Unfortunately, it did not go well, I had a D&C on 10/17/06 due to a BO at 11 weeks. At the time I did not know what a BO was. I quickly found out (not from my Doctor) through the internet that BO's are very common. Of course that did not make a difference to me at the time bur now I'm so grateful to have this site to get encouragement and hope. I don't feel so alone now, having gone through such a awful ordeal. I did not realize how much I wanted another child until this happened to me. Not to mention everyone around me is PG and I have a friend that is due the same time I would have been due with the BO. I feel so sad and I feel like I'll never be PG again. Well anyway, I just got my first AF after the D&C (exactly 31 days) 11/17. Now I'm ready for AF to be gone so DH and I can start TTC again soon. Again, thanks you all for being so supportive. I hope I end up with a happy ending.
Tengie
DS 8 DD 4 BO Oct 2006 TTC Again
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Post by larimore on Nov 21, 2006 15:41:27 GMT -5
i had i ultrasound on the 11/20/06 and they didnt see a heart beat so i have to go get some blood draw i had brown blood aweek ago did't last long i did't have any pain i still not haveing pain i gest i just hope i past the baby i still can't see it happen we just lost are son whom had ms 5 month and know this have any one had a ultrasound done that show the yok wasnt there and later fine out ther a heart beat much latter i am 10wks and 2 days
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Post by nicole on Nov 29, 2006 23:09:02 GMT -5
I am 35 years old with a DS (age 2) and a wonderful husband (age 39) of almost 15 years. We waited to have a child until our 30's, and I experienced a wonderful pregnancy and delivery. Not to brag, but my labor was 6.5 hours start to finish; 20 minutes of pushing!! It was the most empowering experience I ever had. The moment after I gave birth, I wanted another child. After I breastfed my son for 19 months, I wanted to begin TTC our second. We conceived in April 2006, but intuitively I felt something wasn't right. My progesterone came back low with the HCG bloodtest, and I began prog. immediately. At the first u/s there was an empty sac. As a marriage and family therapist, I had heard of embryo's without a heartbeat, but not a missing embryo. My doctor wanted to do a repeat u/s a week later, but I knew the results would be the same. I was scheduled for a D&C at 7 weeks. I expected an emotional roller coaster, but I never really thought this would happen to me after the experience I had with my DS. A reminder that we should never take for granted this miracle process. My doctor encouraged me that these things "are common" and we would have another healthy baby. After 2 cycles, she said we could begin TTC. We conceived immediately (Sept 06) and I was pretty confident I was pregnant before my AF was late. I asked for a progesterone check at Day 21 so that I might catch it sooner if I needed supplementation. Well, I guess it wasn't soon enough b/c when we had the u/s, it was another empty sac. I had another D&C at 7 weeks (Oct 17th, 06). I didn't really believe it could happen twice, but again I had suspected that something wasn't right. The main difference I felt with the BO's and my pregnancy with my DS was that my symptoms were very mild. But, I tried to be optimistic that maybe I got my "girl" since the symptoms were different. Strangely enough, I still feel optimistic about another pregnancy. I have met with a specialist and had lots of bloodwork; which has come back normal. So, the specialist is in agreement that my hormones are too low and I need to be preventative and begin them before implantation. I am feeling better emotionally and will consider TTC again after the new year. I am hoping 2007 will be filled with a new bundle of love. It has been great reading about those of you who are currently pregnant and have had similar experiences. I wish all of you great success with your family expanding!! Nicole
UPDATE: I felt the need to update my story in hopes that someone reading these will find inspiration and helpful information. After extensive testing by my RE, I decided to take clomid in Feb 07. I did get a positive hcg lab, but the value was very low. When we repeated it, the value had dropped and AF came. The clomid had also thinned my lining quite a bit, so the doctor was not optimistic.
The following cycle I did what's referred to as a "monitored cycle". Basically the doctor does a pre-O u/s to assess your follicle development and predict your O-day. I had two follicles; probably the result the clomid from the cycle before. Again, I got a positive hcg lab, but it too was low. I began to ask myself how much more disappointment can I face. However, I still wanted a sibling for my DS.
We took a few months off from treatment to ttc on our own. I also pursued acupuncture and herbal treatment. In addition, I took a low dose of clomid in June 07. I had my labwork done and the hcg value was strong. I had hope that this one was going to stick. When I got the second lab, it had risen, but not quite doubled. I felt the disappointment coming. The third lab showed my level was dropping:( Needless to say, I was losing hope, but still wanting to ttc.
The next cycle we weren't ttcing, but we didn't protect ourselves either. We BD'd THREE days before I ovulated and we were PREGNANT AGAIN!! I thought this is IT!! Well, the lab came back low and did not rise.
I met with my RE and she recommended that we do an injectible treatment cycle to boost my hormone level. Well, after being poked and proded and taking everything my doc recommended. We got a BFP!!! I am currrently 7 weeks and we saw the heartbeat on u/s!!!!! This is the furthest we've made it since the first BO. We are hopeful, but still nervous.
For those of you just facing a loss or more, DON'T GIVE UP. It can and WILL happen for you too. Hugs, Nicole
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Post by herrerl on Dec 6, 2006 18:53:23 GMT -5
I am 27 years old with a 2 1/2 year old daughter. My husband and I have been married for 5 years.
We decided to TTC this summer and were pregnant immediately. I didn't feel pg at all this time and knew something was wrong. In August, my fears were solidified after spotting for 2 weeks and then finally miscarrying. When I went in for a scan, the baby was already out of my uterus, so they couldn't really tell me what went wrong.
I was delighted, yet suprised, to find out in early November that I was pg again. This time, I knew immediately that everything was fine this time. I was sick with all the good ole' symptoms this time, so I told everyone about the pg. Unfortunately, I was told last Monday (11/27) that it was a BO and that the first MC was probably due to the same thing. Even worse, they had put me on medication to raise my progesterone levels the week before that, which probably ended up delaying this MC. So, now I'm waiting for this one to be over with (which right now seems like it will NEVER be over with) and looking for anyone to give me hope that this won't happen to me again....
My parinatologist tells me to start trying again in February....understandibly, that kind of ticked me off. I think 2 MC's in 4 months is kind of traumatic, right? So the thought of trying again isn't a light thought for me. I want another baby, but I don't know if I can go in to see another scan with that black, empty whole in the middle of it.
Anyway, just looking for some kind words and hopeful thoughts.
Lindsay
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Post by milkymommy on Jan 15, 2007 8:35:51 GMT -5
Hi everyone. My name is Lisa and I am 37 and hubby is 34. I have 2 children from my 1st marriage ages 14 and 12 and my 2nd husband and I have a daughter who is 3.5. We decided to give her a sibling and found out I was pregnant Dec. 4th 2006. On Dec. 21st I began spotting. My Dr. didnt think too much about it and told me a lot of women spot in the 1st trimester. By Jan. I began to feel like something wasnt right. Not only was I still spotting but I wasn't having to get up in the middle of the night to urinate. When I was 8 weeks and 2 days we did an U/S and the sac was empty and measured 5 weeks 3 days. My HCG levels were still over 19,000. When I was 9 weeks and 1 day I had a D&C.
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Post by htkuri on Feb 13, 2007 12:37:07 GMT -5
Hi. My name is Harmony. DH and I have two healthy boys, ages 8.5 and 6. I am 28. Our first child was born of another relationship 1.5 years before we met. Times became turbulent and we separated and I did not know I was pregnant.
We've spent years and thousands divorcing only to realize that we want God's best and want to go back to one another.
We've spent months in counseling and are getting ready for the new big day in March/April or May.
We got pregnant not on purpose twice since September. Once in October and then m/c in November. Then pregnant again not on purpose in December. I found out late December and yes, there were things I had done that I didn't realize could harm the baby because I didn't realize I was pg.
By January I was in and confirmed. I was 5.5 weeks along. Things were alright. (Originally they thought my due date was earlier and so I was farther along but I assured them it could not be possible due to his flight/arrival, etc.).
I went back in at 9 weeks for an u/s. My doc saw a fetal pole but no heart beat and what appeared to otherwise be an empty sac. The baby was gone. I had an empty sac. (though, I'm not sure that applies if you have a fetal pole, does it)?
Anyway, like the other women here, I did not realize such a thing could happen. I had had spotting and that is what got me in just at nine weeks. I was told I was most likely going to miscarry. I was alright then, I knew that God had a better plan for me. I understood.
A week passed and they saw me again. This time, he realized that the sacs (yolk and gestational) were continuing to grow. But the fetal pole was still just a fetal pole. And though he looked over and over again for a heart beat (why? I guess he was shocked my body was nursing a passed-on baby) there was none. He told me that we could wait another week for the m/c to occur naturally and we are riding it out now. But it's not happening yet. Not really. Anyway, I have another follow up on Friday. If it's not happened, I have to consider a D&C to have it removed.
I can't explain it but it was so much harder and I found myself angry at my own body! Why is it trying to care for a dead baby? Why is my body doing this to me? Let's just get it over with. I started getting angry at a lot of folks about a lot of things and realized I was just projecting my pain and frustration.
In the meantime, that explains why I'm still suffering from all of the pregnancy symptoms incl. intense-severe nausea. I've lost 8 lbs or more.
In addition, I've got new symptoms. Dizziness, and once and a while the room moves. SOmetimes I feel like there is a rushing river in my ears. But otherwise I guess I am ok.
I really don't feel comfortable with this because I've had an abortion in my past and it's too similar. I realize the tragedy that was caused by my ignorance and selfishness when I did what I thought was my only option. I see now that it was not. But I am concerned about going through something so similar in a place so similar and the emotional effect it will have on me.
Friday is the day, and if it hasn't happened, they'll want to schedule a D&C or give me option for the vaginal pill to bring on m/c at home. I'm not sure which I will choose. DH still lives far away and no one would be home to shield the children from the drama.
So, right now, I don't know which I will choose. I'm hoping something happens soon. I have three days.
I know taht God's plan for us is better than ours for ourselves. I realize that things happen the best way for a reason. I am glad that my body still wants to nurture the baby. At least I know that I don't have the group of immune diseases that mistakes the baby for a disease and attacks it (a legitimate fear considering my immune issues and family history).
I can't help but wonder, if the baby died at (he says its the size of) 5-6 weeks, and that's when the heart was/is developing, maybe it just had a heart defect? I do have the wonder.
This is my third consecutive m/c and my fourth over all. I have had two healthy pregnancies and regretably, one abortion.
Whatever God decides, I'm ok with it. I just hope my body follows along.
I heard a remarkable story about my nurse's daughter who was in a similar situation to me. She m/c five times before she and her husband had a healthy baby. THey had had one child together 6-7 years before that. It turned out their cells were just not as compatible anymore. Even after that, they still were able to conceive and carry to term.
Another thing. Being a Christian, I am inspired by Hannah's inability to conceive and that God eventually brought her a child. There were others, in the bible, that did as well.
I also have a wonderful friend, aged 41 when she conceived her child. He is not only gifted and quite large and healthy but very very energetic and no health problems to speak of even though she had countless meds to take and countless medical problems.
In all of this trial and tribulation, I want to remember the good too. And I do have two beautiful boys already. Perhaps I should leave the 'spirit babies' to the other women here who haven't had their first yet. I'll certainly pray and hope the best for you all.
Harmony
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Post by callalilly on Mar 3, 2007 23:42:49 GMT -5
Hi. My name is Yvonne. I'm 40 years old. My husband and I (still newlyweds) have four children between us: he has two boys (six and seven) and one daughter (18), and I have a son who will be seven in March.
We married last September (2006) and wanted to start ttc right away--no one is getting any younger here! After a lot of concern simply about being able to conceive, we were thrilled to learn I'd conceived in January. On February 1 I got a BFP. Initially I was very cautious about telling people, but as the weeks went by, I relaxed and became more trusting that everything was OK. We began to tell people about the pg, as we were very excited.
At 7 wk 4 d, I'd had a heavy, low cramping sensation all day at work. I had a very faint pinkish discharge when I went to the restroom that evening. My heart sank; I'd read so much about the risk and signs of miscarriage (I had been very concerned, mostly due to my age), I felt I knew immediately what was happening. I cried myself to sleep that night.
In the morning, I called my ob/gyn (it was Friday, and I was slated to see her for my first 8 wks appointment on Monday) and she was immediately concerned and had me come in for a u/s. I was having more mucousy discharge streaked with blood and small clots, along with increased, sharp cramping. There was really no doubt in my mind that I was preparing to m/c. The u/s confirmed a B/O--the technician was obviously uncomfortable as she explained she saw only an empty sac measuring about 4 wks. I found myself trying to make her feel more comfortable.
My ob/gyn was very kind and compassionate. She explained that I should be able to have a natural m/c without complications, and that if I wanted that, I should expect it to probably happen in the next few days, given the symptoms I was presenting. That was my choice, and I went home to wait to have the m/c. She explained to me what to expect and what to watch for.
I had contraction-like pains on Saturday and Sunday, intense at times, accompanied by bright red bleeding periodically, especially after activity such as going for a long walk. On Sunday, I had a sudden, heavy gush of very thick, clotted and bloody, ropy discharge. It was so much I had to get a t-shirt to catch the excess that was running off the pad. As the cramping and bleeding subsided not long after that, I thought that perhaps I'd passed the sac and placenta in that gush. As the afternoon/evening progressed and I felt better, I began to believe that the worst of my m/c was over. However, I was wrong.
Monday, I continued to have bleeding and cramping. Tuesday morning (at 8 wks 1 d), I awoke with a very heavy, pressing sensation in my lower pelvis and bowel, almost as if I needed to have a bowel movement. As I was getting ready that morning, I suddenly felt an urge to go to the bathroom. I sneezed, and the sac came out of me all at once. It was larger than I expected it to be--I was expecting something the size of a quarter, and this was about 3" long (sorry if this is too much information, but I remember being anxious about what exactly I might expect to encounter and scouring the internet for personal accounts from women who miscarried at this stage). It was not particularly painful, but I was extremely startled and upset, as I did not expect it. I screamed when it happened, and my DH was nearby and came in to see what was wrong and then comfort me.
I had heavy bleeding for about an hour following the passage of the sac and placenta. The cramping subsided again, and by the next day, Wednesday, I felt physically OK. I went to work on Wednesday, took it slow, and did fine. My bleeding stopped by Friday night (I had about 8 days total of spotting/bleeding, start to finish).
The emotional aspect was far more difficult than the physical, for me. I cried so much, at times feeling nearly hysterical. I remember sitting in the floor of the bedroom in the middle of the night on Saturday night, after having a particularly long jag of crying and then angry outbursts at my husband (who, at times, unfortunately could not say anything right to me--this was stressful for our relationship, and I am sure I treated him unfairly at times in my own pain). To his credit, even though at times he was upset by some of my accusations and angry, upset outbursts, he invariably came back to comfort me. I remember him coming over to me as I was sitting on the floor, feeling dizzy and slightly nauseous from fatigue and pain, and gently helping me up and back to the bed, even though I'd been crying and accusing him of being uncompassionate or unresponsive or something moments before. I relate that because I think that to react irrationally at times, to experience overwhelming grief that can result in inappropriate striking out, is probably not unusual in these circumstances.
It's now been over a week since it all started, and I still find myself occasionally starting to cry for no real apparent reason, but that's less often than it was. Physically, I feel fine, and my sleep is returning to more normal patterns. I don't "feel" pregnant now--my breasts are less sensitive, and that's the symptom I always associated with being pregnant. When I noticed earlier today that they felt "lighter" and weren't so sensitive, it made me feel sad as it reminded me I was not pregnant. I'm sure little things like that will catch me from time to time.
We are going to ttc again after 2 AFs. I worry about being able to conceive again in the first place, and then I worry about another m/c. I want to have a baby within the next year--already, I won't be able to have one before I turn 41 at the earliest. I worry that another m/c won't only be emotionally difficult, but it will rob us of precious months of time, of which I feel we have so little left to have a child. But nonetheless, I am trying to cultivate a positive attitude about things. We will try again, and we will keep trying as long as we can and there's hope.
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Post by brbsmiley on Mar 9, 2007 14:13:10 GMT -5
My name is Barbra, I am 40 years old and have been married for 17 almost 18 years now. I had always had irregular periods and used no form of birth control for the first 4 years of our marraige. I lost all the marraige weight and was at my ideal weight when I discovered I was pregnant. I was so excited and never expected to have any complications. I started spotting then went to see an OB, he was very comforting and did a vaginal u/s and saw a sac but nothing else, they monitored my blood. Then decided to do a lapriscopic procedure to rule out ectopic pregnancy then do a d&c if nothing was there. I woke up from my surgery with him telling me that I had already passed it and the d&c was performed. I was very depressed and confused I immediatley put on 10 pounds and was due for a checkup. I went back to work after a few weeks and started wondering why I had not had a period yet. I called the Drs office and was told to come in for a pregnancy check. I did and found out I was pg again. That was shocking and scary at the same time. Everything seemed to go well this time, well I did develop High blood pressure, my son was breech and I had preterm labor. I actually went into labor two days before the scheduled c-section and they preformed it that very day. He is now 13 yrs old. Nothing happened again for 4 more years, no birth control either. So I decided it was time to lose weight again. I wasn't at a desired weight yet when we discovered I was pg again. I spotted the first 4 months which was very stressfull. I had a polyp on my cervix and was monitored carefully. I decided the try vbac and I delivered a healthy little girl. I weened her at a year of age because DH had planned a trip. I kept wondering why my clothes got tighter on the trip and once I got home discovered once again that I was pg. I once again tried vbac and after a lot of painful pushing had another girl. Three years went by and I was not at a happy place in my life at the time, I had let my body go and didn't feel quite healthy. I found out once again that I was pg and was confused and a little upset by it. I wasn't sure what I was feeling not my dh he was a little upset too. Well things did not go well due to some insurance mix up had to see a different Dr who gave me dates to every step of the pregnancy, told me at my age I could have twins and was I considering a tubal ligation. Too much for me, had a vaginal u/s not good new. He said things didn't seem to be forming and I would most likely have a m/c took some blood tests which confirmed his diagnosis. On my anniversary he called me, I was devistated, could all my negative thoughts and emotions led to this? I called the insurance which straightened matters and got to see my original OBGYN (like a 2nd husband to me). He was so kind and reassuring, he told me uterus did not feel right and ordered an u/s. I went by myself and expected the worse. The technician was kind and told me to look at the monitor although smaller in size there was a heartbeat. I could not breath, I could not longer see because the crying was out of control. It was alive, my whole outlook changed at that point. I loved it so much my little peanut. I told the whole family and went to ob's office to tell them. One week later, spotting and a very painful m/c went to er bleeding heavy and was told nothing was there anymore. Went into a deep depression and blamed everyone, self, husband for originally not wanting that baby. I found comfort from my congregation, and friends and family. I went back to the obgyn and asked for birth control to not get pregnant again. Six months into that I went back to get a follow up and was told to get off the pill blood pressure was so high I could have a stroke. Got period next week and week following got pg again. I was so careful this time, I immediately bonded with my tummy and eventually had a c-section with another girl. She was my joy and start again here I was 38 and I didn't care, I nursed that girl until she was over 2. Four months after I had her I was told I had pre-cancerous cells in my uterus and had to have a culposcopy. Here my horror wasn't the scare but that I could never have children again. This last December, Dh and I decided to be a little spontaneous and not use protection. Well somehow we got Pg I new exactly which day because I wrote it down. Took test following month and called Dr to inform. I had moved to a location far from favorite obgyn so was referred to what was supposed to be the best. Not a very personable person, didn't like him at all. I told him I was high risk and they then did a vaginal u/s to get dates. He insisted back and forth that my dates where off. Highly impossible, wrote it down! Well of course this is why I am here. From that moment I believe that man was convinced of the b/o and made me feel like I wasn't even pg. I called the former obgyn which told me to give the guy another chance. The next visit was not so good, he confirmed the b/o and told me I would mc. I gave him some weird looks and he replied " you act as if you don't believe me", I explained that I didn't not want to believe him and didn't want to experience another loss. Waited for the next visit now at 10 wks, this time dh came with me. Dr said numbers came back lower and that I had two options, mc naturally or d&c. I told him that I did not want another surgical procedure. Had an intraductal pappiloma last year on my right breast and lost a piece of my nipple. I'm all messed up. Back to the Dr's visit, I told him I had small cramping but could feel pressure below and said I could feel it right there ready to come out. He looked at me like I was nuts. That same night 3/7/07 at 8pm dh left for a scheduled thing and 9pm put kids to bed and started by m/c process. Severe cramping and pain, stayed on the phone with my friend up to 11:00pm. After that I was alone, it finally passed from 11:45-12:10. The pain was so bad for hours. I had vicodin and still no relief. Well here I am now sharing some of the most intimate details of my life. Thankyou for giving me a place to speak without someone giving me negative feedback. I have a lot of faith that with God I made it through the night and past and present losses. It will take time to forgive dh for not being here with me, but then I will need him for the next time. Yes, I am 40 with everything against me at this point, but most likely I will try again. Please be reasurred that I am changing that obgyn and finding a specialist in high risk pregn and going back to original obgyn for yearly. Thanks again Barbra
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jo11
New Member
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Post by jo11 on Mar 13, 2007 11:14:45 GMT -5
Hi My name is Joanna & I am 35. My DH had a vasectomy after the birth of his first child (with his first wife). Once we decided that we wanted to have children together, we waited approx 1 year to for a consultation appointment, then 1 year for the actual surgery. We then ttc for approx 14 months. I did not take a pregnancy test every month, but in January something told me to pick up a test while I was doing my grocery shopping. I was so shocked and delighted when I saw those 2 faint lines on the test. I immediately went back to the store & bought 2 different kinds of pg tests just to make sure I was reading everything correctly! My dh and I were just thrilled. I decided to tell my sister & one close friend. I wanted to wait until my first appointment to spread the good news. At 8 weeks , I started to spot. I read everything I could about spotting/bleeding during pregnancy & tried to convince myself it was "normal" (95% of the information I read said bleeding is normal, don't worry). The spotting progressed to bleeding & I decided to go to my family doctor. (the ob/gyn would not see me until I reached 12 weeks) My doctor was horrible. She handed me a requisition for an ultrasound & told me that it could take about 2 weeks to get an appointment. She refused to check my cervix & said "if a m/c is going to happen there is nothing you can do". DH met me at home & we decided to go to the E/R department . (there is no way I could wait 2 weeks to find out what was going on) All of the staff at the hospital were amazing (admin staff, nurses & dr's). They actually cared what was happening to me & wanted to help me figure out what was going on. An internal exam was performed , blood was drawn & an ultra sound was done right in the E/R. The E/R dr told me that he could see a pregnancy , but he wanted me to come back for a proper ultra sound with a radiologist the next day.. They set up the appointment for me right away.
The next day I went for the U/S & was told that I was measuring at 5 weeks + 6 days. I started to wonder if my dates were off? They asked me to come back the next day for another blood test. I went for my blood test at 9 am & they asked me to stay at the hospital to wait for the results. They then set up an appointment with an ob/gyn that afternoon. My dh was not with me at this point because I thought I was only going to the hospital for a quick blood test . I met with the ob/gyn at 1:00 & he delivered the news that I had a BO. I was in shock. He then recommended that I have a d&c & asked me if I was ok with it. I said yes & much to my surprise he phoned the outpatient ward & set up the appointment for me right away. I had time to phone my dh & ask him to meet me at the hospital. I then quickly called my sister before I went to the outpatient/day surgery ward I was ok until I walked into the waiting room and saw all the people waiting to have day surgery. (most were old men!). I had to leave the room and run to the bathroom to compose myself. The nurses were very compassionate and understanding. By the time I was changed & given an IV, my DH arrived. They let him sit with me while I waited for the dr I was given something to relax me & something for the pain about 5 seconds before he performed the d&c. It took about 5 minutes from start to finish. I had some cramping right afterward & was given pain medication about 30 minutes after The recovery nurse was wonderful. By this time it was 6:00 pm & I was the only patient in recovery, which was very relaxing. I was home by 7:30 that evening It has been 1 1/2 weeks since my d&c, but it feels like months to me In retrospect I am actually happy that everything happened so fast. My dh and my family have been wonderful. My sister and her dh actually sent me a plane ticket (vs flowers) so that I could go to her place for a visit. She has 3 beautiful children & they have been amazing therapy for me I had one very teary day (I also felt like I had the flu). Each day it seems to get better. I have had some bleeding & some cramping, but nothing to unbearable I will be seeing the ob/gyn that performed the d&c next week to make sure everything is ok I am looking forward to ttc again I would like to extend my condolences to everyone on this board. I am happy that I found this forum, but sad that we have to meet under these circumstances Thanks so much for allowing me to share my story. It really helps to have a place to let it all out Good luck to everyone that is ttc! Joanna
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Post by jessievp on Mar 17, 2007 16:44:03 GMT -5
I'm so glad I found this site. My DH and I have been TTC since Dec 2005. When I came off the pill and started getting wildly irregular cycles, I realized something was wrong. I went to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) and was diagnosed with PCOS. I started on Metformin, an insulin sensitizer, and began to ovulate and get regular (if a little long) cycles. We tried a few months this way but nothing happened. DH has varied s/a test results, sometimes count is fine and morphology is low, sometimes the opposite. Our RE told us our best chances were with IVF/ICSI. So, we decided to give it a try. Everything went really well: They retrieved 28 eggs, 24 mature and 22 fertilized. Since there were so many we let them go to a 5-day blastocyst stage. I had a moderate case of OHSS, but was so thrilled to have incredible results on such low doses of medication. We transfered in 2 top quality blasts, with 7 left over to freeze. Well, I definitely felt pregnant, but when my beta came back it was only 9! The nurses said it would likely be zero in a couple days, so we'll test again and move onto the Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) cycle next. Well, my beta kept rising and doubling well. The RE's said it could just have been a case of late implantation. At 6w1d we went in for an u/s, and saw the gestational sac measuring on target. RE said it may be too early to see anything else, and we should come back in 5 days for another u/s. My betas were still rising well. We did the next u/s, and this one showed the same thing. We were told that at this stage we should see a yolk sac, fetal pole and posibly even a heartbeat, and we had none of that. I was told my options: D&C or stop my progesterone supplements and wait to m/c naturally. RE said this could take a couple of weeks to even start. But I am scared to try a D&C because I really can't afford to have something happen (like scarring) and hurt my future chances any further as we already have enough problems.
So here I am, waiting to miscarry, upset at the situation but also scared because I don't know when it's going to start or how long it will take, or when I will get a proper period so I can start my next cycle.
Good luck to everyone and thanks for listening. Reading your stories has helped me tremendously.
jessie
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Post by feelingempty on Mar 23, 2007 22:26:58 GMT -5
Hi My name is Sheila...and I just found this website today. I am not sure that I am ready to feel better, but it is finally nice to find other people who really know what this experience is like! It has only been 3 weeks today since I woke up feeling that I was no longer pregnant. My story is pretty much like everyone else's , except that I am on the other end of the having kids spectrum. I have 3 beautiful children already (2 boys, 5 and 3 and my daughter, 1). My husband and I had decided that our family was complete and he had gone ahead and had the vasectomy. After 18 months and many, many retests....we decided to celebrate Christmas Eve together. Shortly thereafter, I told my husband that I felt I was pregnant. Sure enough, no period and a positive hpt indicated that yes, we were expecting again! It took me an hour to come out of the bathroom....and my husband was no less shocked! We had already made travelling plans...we had gotten rid of all the baby things....how could we be having another child! We initially decided to tell no one, not wanting to look in their faces and hear them say....4 kids!!! what is wrong with you! I went to my first midwife appointment, still not sure if i was ready to be a mom of a newborn again...but definately feeling pregnant! 2 weeks later, I had a small amount of spotting on a Sunday. By Wednesday, though, it had become quarter-sized drops of red blood. I panicked and called the midwife, who offered to try and find a hearbeat. I rushed in only to not be able to find a heartbeat...but reassuring words that spotting is VERY common at the end of the first trimester (although I had never had any with my other 3 pregnancies!). The bleeding continued and increased, until I woke up on Friday morning. I just knew that I was no longer pregnant! I went to the hospital and endured the internal exam, and a transvaginal u/s. Thank God that the technician was willing to tell me what she saw...yes...it was commonly known as a BO. I was supposed to be 11 weeks and 3 days.....but my measurements were that of only 7 weeks and 2 days. I was taken back to my emerg room and left for 2 hours to wait for the results from the doctor! I had plenty of time to digest the idea that I was not pregnant.....and I hadn't been for 3 weeks! Then started the questions.....how? why? was I EVER really pregnant? was this b/c I was so reluctant to be a mom again???had I caused the m/c?? how could I ever look at anyone in the eyes again? I was given a D & C then and sent home. Thank God for my fabulous husband who has run interference for me for the past 3 weeks....and not forced me to tell anyone myself...or even have to talk to them if I didn't want to! He has let me cry, and not cry...just hold me and hug me as I needed! I am so blessed! I am also supported by the greatest friend and collegue...who has never judged me, just hugged me and let me talk. But I am so hollow! I feel like such a freak! When will I ever feel normal again? I want to cry...but can't....but when I am alone all I can do is cry! I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone! And when will people stop telling me that "this was for the best"....."it was meant to be". Why do they look at me with "that look!" I hate it! I NEVER got to see my baby or hear her hearbeat! Yet I miss her so much! I even had a name picked out for her!(although we will never know whether we had a girl or boy!) My other problem is....do we try again for number 5, or do I just be happy with my 3 and forever live with this hole in my heart!?!
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Post by tskinner on Mar 24, 2007 14:09:05 GMT -5
I just found this site today and it has helped to answer so many questions. I found out that I was pregnant with my first child three weeks ago. I have never been so excited for anything. went out and bought maternity clothes right away. I went to my first prenatal appointment on Wednesday at 7 1/2 weeks. I was so excited that they were going to do an ultrasound on my first visit and that we were going to get to see the heartbeat. However, when the doctor turned the screen away from us I knew something was wrong. She said that she saw no fetal pole or heartbeat and that it is probably a b.o. I have another ultrasound this coming Thursday to confirm it. I have been a wreck. I keep thinking that she is wrong or it is too early to really tell. My cicles are usually 34 days long, could it be that I am just too early in my pregnancy? I have never heard of them doing an umltrasound at 7 1/2 weeks. I am so afraid that if I agree to have the D & C I will be making a mistake. Could the doctor be wrong?
Please keep me in your prayers. I really need to see a heart beat on thursday.
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Post by feelingempty on Mar 25, 2007 21:40:59 GMT -5
My name is Katrina I'm actually living in Australia but started searching the web and came across this forum. I have 3 children already but my husband & I decided that we might like to try for 4th baby. Have just found out Wed that I have a blighted ovum at 9 weeks gestation. Am waiting to have D&C next week. Its breaking my heart at moment as I haven't miscarried and my body is still acting like I'm pregnant. I'm finding it hard to tell my husband exactly how I feel as he has taken it as a sign that not to tempt fate, for me I had waited 5 years for him to say that he would like to try again as our 3rd pregnancy was quite difficult due to a car accident I had at 20wks pregnant. What are the chances of it happening again?
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Post by acarna on Apr 3, 2007 17:40:46 GMT -5
In August 2003, our oldest son was heading off to Kindergarten; and we had an 18 month old son at home w/me. We had decided that we would prefer less time b/n our 2nd and 3rd child; and since I'd gotten pregnant the two times prior on the first try...a May baby was our choice this 3rd time around. I spotted for a week prior to getting my period that month. I really thought we'd succeeded once again; but such was not the case. We went until April 2005 w/no pregnancies, and numerous visits to my OBGYN and RE for various tests. In April 2005, I tried a baking soda douche that a forum friend used to obtain her own pregnancy (after 2+ years of ttc); and I too became pregnant after 21 cycles of ttc for our third child.
In retrospect, simply having a confirmation at my OBGYN's office and no HCG or progesterone testing was unwise on my part. I'd been made aware of low progesterone via my RE about 6 months prior to this pregnancy. I was scheduled for a 10 week visit; and an u/s at 12 weeks for a nuchal scan. I should state too that I had no notion of losing this pregnancy; unlike my husband who mentioned a worry early on concerning miscarriage. I was experiencing some mild nausea (very unlike my other pregnancies), and my tummy was growing...all was fine in my opinion. That is, until one weekend morning around 6 weeks or so. I awoke and simply didn't 'feel' pregnant. At all. I allowed my husband to calm me down and convinced myself it was my imagination. On the morning of my 10 week visit, my neighbor offered to watch our boys for my visit. It was a last minute type of invitation; and I recall feeling very compelled to accept b/c I suspected we'd not have good news coming.
In the Dr.'s office, the new tech was not able to find the heartbeat w/the doppler. She mentioned she was new and was going to get the nurse to find it. She left the room, and I looked at my husband and just started getting teary-eyed. I knew what we were about to be told. The nurse could not find the heartbeat as well, and tried to be casual about having an u/s to make sure everything was okay. I'll not soon forget the u/s tech's face. She was running the wand over my belly, and I knew what we were seeing was not a 10 week fetus...something much less developed if developed at all; and no heartbeat to be seen. The u/s tech simply shook her head slightly when my Dr.'s nurse peeked into the room for the results. I saw this and started crying uncontrollably. My Dr. scheduled the D&C immediately (his office was in the hospital). I bled/spotted for around 4-6 weeks...it seemed way too long, imo; even though what I read online made it out to be a normal timeframe. My Dr. ran those stats by me about women who miscarry conceiving quickly, and even boldly stated he suspected I'd be pregnant by the year's end.
Well, I wasn't. And my increasing age (approaching 35 at the time) and continued 'unexplained' status was mounting. I cannot describe the depths of despair I felt over ttc. I felt life had cheated me. When we realized daycare was not our choice for our children, I gave up my career path in favor of staying home w/our boys. We'd always wanted a family of 3-4 children; and I felt like I'd given up alot for a lesser return on my 'investment'. I tried 4 rounds of Clomid in 2006. I was pretty sure I'd had a chemical pregnancy during one of those cycles. This past January, I sat and talked w/my hubby about our plan going forward. My current GYN advised me that most infertility resolves itself w/n a 5 year period. I did not want to go at this for another 1.5 years. We agreed we'd give it another 6 months of the dreaded Clomid, along w/Preseed b/c we felt my eggs and cervical fluid were the main issues for us. We resolved ourselves to this 'plan', I joined the PTO board at my son's school, and planned my chosen career choice come Fall...and got pregnant the first month w/this 'plan'.
The 6 week u/s showed a baby, fetal pole, and heartbeat; so hopefully we're on the right track w/this much desired baby. Time will tell. I have alot of restoration work to do on my faith in God (questions of why teens, drug addicts, etc. can become pregnant but not me wrestled my mind through this entire ordeal). I do believe the douche was a bad decision that contributed (if not caused) to my miscarriage. I had a case of bacterial vaginosis immediately following the miscarriage.
I think what I would recommend to others struggling w/infertility is to read/research, ask questions, seek peace w/life as it is, and in the end--trust yourself and your instincts...even if it goes against what the medical field is telling you. In the end, all doctors are in a business. Businesses must make money to succeed. Perhaps you genuinely will need the procedures the medical field will suggest in order to get pregnant; but my experience is that time, education, and some experimenting did everything the costly IVF's, IUI's, etc *might* have done for us.
Best baby wishes to all those seeking them.
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Post by carmenivy on Apr 4, 2007 17:41:29 GMT -5
I miscarried due to a BO three days after my wedding, and had to have a d & c on my birthday. I was ten weeks.
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Post by tenaciousjp on Apr 30, 2007 22:28:11 GMT -5
My DH (29) and I (30) have about a 1 to 2 % chance of getting pregnant normally. About three weeks ago, without any conscious effort on our part, we found out we were pregnant. We had been trying off and on for 4 years. I don't have regular cycles so according to my last period I would have been at least 8 weeks if not possiably 11 weeks at the time of our first apointment. During the physical exam the Dr. said I didn't look quite that far along and did a Trans Vag u/s. He put me at about 5 to 5 1/2 weeks and was a little concernd as he didn't see a yolk sac or fetal pole or baby but said I was probably just too early. He had me come back a couple weeks later for the second u/s. On Friday he discovered the same thing, my gestational sac had grown, but there was no baby, fetal pole or yolk sac. He said I had a BO PG. My husband and I were devestated. I have had such intense m/s and pregnancy signs that it came as such a shock. My body has shown no signs of m/c and we will more then likely proceed with a DNC as all I want right now is some closure. I haven't really done anything like this website before but this has been so confusing and fast and scary it just helped to know we weren't alone.
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Post by jennrlb on May 16, 2007 19:38:18 GMT -5
Hi. My name is Jennifer. I am new to this so I may not be up on all the abbreviations and protocol. Today is May 16, 2007 and I just found out this afternoon that my pregnancy has ended with a diagnosis of a blighted ovum at 11 weeks. My husband and I are devastated and our 6 year old son was upset as well. This is still so confusing to me. I have two children, one boy and one girl. Both pregnancies were fairly normal, although with my daughter I was put on bedrest at 27 weeks due to preterm labor, but she went full term and was healthy. This pregnancy seemed just as normal as the other two. We were not sure we wanted to have a third but were thrilled nonetheless when we discovered we were pregnant. Having had two successful pregancies before, we did not wait to start telling people, a decision I now kind of regret. At a routine OB visit at 10 weeks my doctor became concerned because there was not fetal heartone and my uterus had not increase much in size from my previous appointment. She sent me in for an ultrasound which confirmed that I had a sac but no fetus. This whole thing is just so surprising. I still don't understand how I can feel pregnant and look pregnant (I have had to wear maternity clothes since 6 weeks) and yet I'm not pregnant. Already my great irritation has been the response of some people who say "Well, you have two beautiful children". I know I am lucky to have my two children, but that does not mean that I don't feel the painful loss of this one. I am comforted to find this forum and to see so many other women who have experienced this same phenomenon.
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Post by mommaof2 on May 20, 2007 22:21:00 GMT -5
i thought i was 9 weeks and 5 days pregnant . i had spotted at 5 weeks but hte odc didnt seee me but put me on bedrest then i was pk my belly was growing i had symptons and then at 9 weeks i start bleeding again but this time a lil heavier but not super bad so i call agian it was at night time so the doc on call said i should be fine but to call the doc in the morning so ti did and the docter had me go to the er to get a u/s well they got me in quickly and had me set op with a iv so i could get ready fr my u/s and the doc came in and said my pregnancy tests came back negative! i was in shock!!!!! i was soo sad and hyoerventialting! he told me that it problay didnt take! so here we were attached to a baby that may of not been there but the idea of it was there and my belly was there so i was attached to a baby!! i dont know when it happend but i think it happend when i bled the first time! i was so mad at the docter for not getting me in so i would of known i wasnt ! but oh well we just foind out 3 days ago so it is still a shock we are doing better i have the lord as my rock!!! we are not sure when to try again we are nervous! i have to go to the docter for a followup soon!
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Post by mommyof6 on May 29, 2007 22:22:48 GMT -5
Hello. My name is Melissa and I am the mommy of 6 beautiful children...but in my heart forever that will be 9 beautiful angels. This weekend I miscarried for the 3rd time. I found out I was pg on May 19th and 1 week to that day I started to bleed at 6 weeks. I have had 4 days of excruciating pain yet no "tissue loss" ..today they diagnosed it as blighted ovum. This doesn't make this baby an less real to me as a matter of fact I have named all my little lost angels even though none of them made it beyond 10 weeks. My 1st miscarriage was one that happened at about 5-6 weeks. I will never forget the pain of that. Not only physically but mentally as I due to an insane shift of hormones lost my high school sweetheart--a man whom I love to this day. I'll never know what happened there as I was young yet and didn't see a dr. about it. I did have a baby with no problems 5 yrs later. My 2nd miscarriage was in 08/99. My husband was in Korea and I was going about my daily business. I was so excited about this pregnancy. I had 3 beautiful daughters but none to that date had been planned. This baby was at last one I planned. I was thrilled---but that evening I began to bleed. Not expecting something like this to happen to me I went to the hospital. They did an u/s and said they didn't see the baby's heartbeat. I will never forget how cold they were. LIke my baby dying was nothing to care about. I went back everyday for 3 days and got sent home like I was nuts. The 3rd day brought an exam which they retrieved my baby's remains from inside me & i was able to convince a unknowing lab tech to give me the remains ( he later told me he wasn't supposed to and it was supposed to have been used for lab testing--i told them they were NOT getting it back---DAMN MILITARY). I had a memorial and had the remains cremated. I did with God's wisdom & support get pg 12 days later. He knew the only way I could get through that one was to have another I needed to take care of--forcing me to take care of myself. I had a healthy baby girl 9 months later. I've had 2 since then, bringing my grand total to 6. Then recently my dh & I had joked about having a baby after a trip into a store with some really cool new baby stuff...we laughed and said we better not talk about it--or it'll happen. Well it did! One of those nights I knew I should'nt but just HAD to *lol* . Well I've already said how that ended. I am just looking to talk to some other moms out there. It seems no one understand quite how it feels...sadly not even our men for the most part. I mean they experience it in their own way but I do think there is just something only us as the women who have lost can understand. I do also want to give hope to those who have had miscarriages that you can have healthy children and problem free pregnancies after m/c. I'm glad to have found this board.
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kcs4
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Post by kcs4 on Jun 4, 2007 15:19:36 GMT -5
Hi! My name is Katy. I am 21 and have been married for almost three years. I have two wonderful kids - 6yr old daughter and 2yr old son. We first found out we were having baby #3 two days before Christmas 2006. I was very excited to find out that we would have a summer baby and that I could for the first time buy summer maternity clothes. The week after we found out my morning sickness began - a million times worse than the other pregnancies. I felt just awful until I was about 13.5 weeks and then it went away (which is strange for me because with both other PG's i was sick until I was almost six months along). The day before I was fifteen weeks I woke up in the middle of the night bleeding very heavily. We rushed to emergency where i was examined and then sent home because my cervix was still closed and the bleeding had stopped. I was told that the baby was probably fine and to go to my own doctor the next day and schedule an ultrasound. I went to my doctor and she couldn't find a heart beat - I knew then that something was really wrong. A few hours after I got home I started to bleed again - back to emergency - where I was admitted. Finally the next day I was able to have an ultrasound which showed that there was no baby - just an empty sac. i was told that there never was a baby. We were totally crushed. I wasn't able to have my D&C until the next day which went well - but then my bleeding wouldn't stop and I had to go back for a second D&C which was upsetting because it was like everything was happening all over again. The second one was successful and I felt better within a week. Now it is almost three months later and I am still really struggling with everything. No one really wants to talk about it anymore and sometimes I need to. Everywhere I go there are pregnant people in my faceIn those few short weeks that i was pregnant i gained 26lbs and have only lost about ten.
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Post by Egirl on Jun 18, 2007 17:45:06 GMT -5
My name is Erin and I suffered a pregnancy loss (Molar Pregnancy) with my very 1st pregnancy. I went on to have two perfectly healthy pregnancies which produced my sons Walker and Noah who are now 11 and 13 yrs of age. In June of 2005 I suffered a Blighted Ovum pregnancy. My husband and I tried again and with the next pregnancy I suffered a miscarriage due to a chemical pregnancy and low progesterone. Third time is a CHARM! I got pregnant in June of 2006 and gave birth to a healthy baby boy "Phoenix William" on March 8, 2007. My first loss was at age 20. My 2nd and 3rd I was in my 30's. Am now 39 with a newborn...so BO's can happen at any age. Each loss was very difficult, but each success helped to heal that pain. I have reminded myself time and time again that if I'd not gone through the journey of loss, I would not have the children I do today. There is always reason to have all the hope in the world. Never, never, never GIVE UP!
Much Love, Erin (Egirl)
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Post by seeiay on Aug 5, 2007 13:23:46 GMT -5
Hi, I am 30 years old and my DH is 29. We've been ttc since June 2005. It took me a long time to get the nerve up to see someone about our trouble getting pregnant. We waited until we'd been ttc for 15 months (November 2006) before we saw a fertility specialist.
It turned out that my DH is completely healthy, but that I have ovulation problems. I was prescribed Clomid and started on 50 mg in March 2007. I wanted to start treatment with my January cycle, but we went out of the country to visit family for the whole of January. That was such a hard wait and my family kept hounding us about why we didn't have a baby yet.
The March treatment was not successful, so the Clomid dosage was raised to 100 mg for April. It worked. We were so happy. It was the first good news in a long time. I started feeling funny in May and my co-workers teased me about being pregnant. None of them knew that I had been trying, but it got me thinking.
By that time I had used so many OPK that I didn't realize that you read HPT differently. I took the HPT, but since both lines weren't the same color I thought that it meant that it was a BFN. I showed DH the test when he got home from work and he looked at me like I was crazy. He read and reread the instructions to me. It was a BFP, not matter the color of the lines. I had a blood test to confirm. I had never been so happy to be so wrong.
We scheduled our first U/S for what would've been wk 7 of the PG. There was a sac and he thought he saw a fetal pole, but there was no hb and nothing was measuring right for wk 7. We went back after a week and there wasn't any change. Sadly we were told that I was going to miscarry because of BO. That was June 7, 2007.
I opted for a natural miscarriage vs. a d&c. It happened on July 4th (which would've been wk 12). It was very painful. I actually went into a kind of labor and had contractions. I was never warned that it could happen that way, but have found since that many women have experienced similar miscarriages. I think I still would've decided to have a natural miscarriage even if I'd known that it could be that painful, but it would have been nice to just know. I don't think I would've been as panicky and scared and my DH could've known more what to do.
We had the miscarriage at home by ourselves. The placenta was a lot bigger than I was expecting. DH buried the remains in our backyard. I haven't been able to visit yet, but I'm comforted that I will be able to when I feel ready. I want to make a marker and plant flowers someday.
The doctor said that we have the ok to start ttc again after my AF starts again which should be really soon. DH really wants to start again and I do too, but I feel so emotionally drained. I was so sad for so long about not getting pg and then I was pg for such a short short time, but it made all the hardship worth it and now I'm not pg anymore and I feel like a part of me died and no one in my life understands - even DH...
I'm so afraid that I won't be able to get pregnant again. I'm afraid that if I do get pregnant I will lose the baby again. I'm afraid if I tell my friends and family all of this that they will judge me and say things that will make things worse. I feel like there's this wall between me and everyone else who has never had any of these problems. I walk around in the world and I feel like I have this secret weighing me down.
I want so much to be positive and hopeful, but it's so hard to find the light in all of this. I don't know how I'm supposed to be dealing with all of this. I want to cope in a healthy way- but what is that?
Thank you so much to whover takes the time to read this. It's nice to have a place to express my real feelings.
-Christine
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Post by emadagan on Aug 8, 2007 21:56:36 GMT -5
My name is Carol and I am 43. I have 5 beautiful children aged 10, 8, 5, 3, and 14 months. In May 2007 I found out that I was expecting my 6th. My DH and I and all the kids were so excitied! From the beginning of the pg, I felt like something wasn't quite right. I had morning sickness for about 8 weeks, then it stopped. I wasn't outgrowing my clothes and felt for a 6th pg, I should be in maternity clothes by about 8-9 weeks, but all my regular clothes still fit. My DH kept telling me I was fine, it was my imagination, but sadly it wasn't. I was supposed to have my first prenatal appt on June 14th at 10 weeks, 4 days. The night of June 13th, I had cramping and spotting. Instead of a prenatal appt, I had an u/s which showed a bo. I waited to m/c naturally and didn't have any pain or much bleeding, but had another u/s 2 weeks later which showed I had passed almost everything. I had my hcg levels checked for 5 weeks--they didn't return to 0 until after I had my first AF past my m/c. I always took for granted that if I got pg, I would have a baby. No longer. I feel blessed to have my children, but I will also miss this little one and will meet him/her someday in heaven. I hope to conceive again and pray that it will happen for me.
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grief
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Post by grief on Aug 16, 2007 0:06:19 GMT -5
i found out am pregnant last june when i missed my period i went to my ob for a check up and wallah i am... after trying to concieve again for our second baby. everything is okay am having the signs that am pregnant. it came to a point that i suspected i am having twins beacause ive grown fast... so i asked the doctor for an ultasound so she gave me a slip for me to have a transvi ultrasound.. that was aug 1 i am 9 weeks on the counting... but the ultrasound stated that the age is only 7 weeks.... and they saw subchorionic hematoma near my cervix.....haven't heard of the term before so i thought it was just ok. but what caught my attention was the term.. repeat after two weeks to check viabilty.... so i went home and exactly two weeks after i started bleeding... had my ultrasound the other day and told me that it was a blighted ovum. i started crying....i was so devastated... and yesterday i had to undergo D&C bacause am bleeding badly but the sac is still in place... now i am still physically and emotionally not ok.. i hope that i'll be ok soon.. thanks for reading....
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Post by melissanueva on Aug 26, 2007 5:55:02 GMT -5
Hello I'm a 33yr old mother of a wonderful 3yr old and DH of 5 years. My first pregnancy went really well but I got preclamsia in the end and had to be induced early. But everything came out great with my little one. DH and I thought it was time to try for number 2, so I planned it just so (God had other plans)..didn't want to be prego in the heat of the summer or have the baby be so young in the RSV season (my son had RSV and asthma as a baby but luckily was 6mo by that time) So we were pregnant on the first try! We were so happy we told everyone! I felt like I had with my first..sore BB and tired all the time. No indications anything was anything but normal. I started having high blood pressure about 9weeks and then the doc checked for baby's hb with a dopler and couldn't find one, but I was told not to worry. But there was just something in the way the Dr. was kind of regreatful. But he said that we would try at the next appointment. I had to go in a 10 weeks because I started spotting. On a tuesday I went in and had the trans vaginal u/s done and I was so nervous. they checked all these things (ovaries ect)before going to the most important part. I knew something was not right because they got so quiet and stopped talking and it was just sighs and hmms. Then the sac showed up on the screen and all the u/s tech said was the sack was empty.No baby. They phoned my Dr and scheduled me with a followup with him the next day. I went home a balled and looked for info on the net, it was then that I found out I had a BO.I was still just lightly spotting and then a little bit of cramping. The next day I saw my Dr and we decided to just wait and have a natrual m/c. Two days later I couldn't take it anymore and called my Dr to schedule a D&C for the next day. That night I woke up and was bleeding heavily with bad cramps. I went to the ER and was bleeding and passing clots. It was so painful. The thing I remember most is the nurse saying something like...so this wasn't a suprise to you...I couldn't believe that she had said that. The ER Dr did an exam and then they cleared most of the tissue ect out. All the while I was just crying. It was the worst expierence I have ever gone through. The ER was not that great, but my doctor has really been great. I am still bleeding and have slight cramps, but nothing like it was. I only hope all of the tissue ect passed and I can stop bleeding and feeling so bad. I know it takes time. My next hurdle is to get back to work. I fly in the US Air Force, so everyone in my office knew I was pregnant becuase I had office duties instead of flying. A dear co-worker is also pregnant and we were due at the same time. So, I will probably have to relive this over again in a couple of weeks when I return to work. We plan on TTC as soon as possible God willing. I think it might ease a little of the pain. But then you have the worry of will I m/c again? I know a few things I'll do diffrently..not tell everyone and expect that anything can happen. This is the BEST therapy ever..reading the posts is so comforting to me and knowing that I am not alone!
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