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Post by lavenderlady on Sept 27, 2011 9:03:30 GMT -5
Where to start…I’m frustrated because I don’t want to tell anyone what’s going on, but I’m also the kind of person who likes to get knowledgeable input. I’ve researched as much as possible and I feel informed, I’ve spoken with my doctor and nurse many times. But here I am, almost 13 weeks with a BO and no sign of a miscarriage. I was diagnosed at my 9 week appointment, which was on a Thursday. My doctor told me she expected me to miscarry that weekend from what they saw on the ultrasound. I did spot a little bit and thought things were about to get started, but that cleared up within a few days (spotting was mainly at night, when I wiped, not even enough to use a pad). By the follow up ultrasound a week later (10 weeks), there was no more spotting but the sac had blood around it, and was detaching. Once again my doctor expected me to miscarry within days. A week later, still nothing. I went in for another ultrasound (11 weeks) and the sac had moved lower. Once again, they expected me to miscarry within days. I have been on the phone with my doctor or nurse for updates once, if not more times a week. They have been incredibly supportive and helpful. They have monitored my HCG levels since week 10, and they have been going down (week 10 was 901, week 11 was 646, week 12 was 496). So this is where I’m at: I feel strongly that I would rather miscarry naturally versus have a D&C…I feel that having a D&C would be out of convenience rather than necessity. My husband has been super supportive and feels the same way I do and supports me with my decision – even when I start doubting myself and weigh out the possibility of having a D&C. However, I keep coming around to the same place, to miscarry naturally. So I wait. But I am open to any insight or input you may have as I feel like I’m going with limited support due to keeping things under wraps. Also, what is the longest you’ve waited (or known someone else to) before things happen naturally?
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Post by carlsangel on Sept 27, 2011 12:47:33 GMT -5
Hello, Welcome, and I am so sorry for your loss! Im sorry you are in this position, I know it is a hard place to be. I can share my experience and hopefully it will help in any way. I had my 1st B/O in '07, I was youn and had 3 kids, so I really didn't expect anything like that to happen to me. I was 6.5 weeks when it was diagnosed, and it only took about a week for my levels to drop and I began the miscarriage process. It was difficult, but not a painful as I expected. emotionally it was tough on me but I felt I got closure by seeing the sac and I even buried it and planted a lily over it. It was my baby regardless of how it didn't develop. Fast forward 4 years and 3 children later, I once again was faced with a B/O(although they did eventually see something in the sac, they never detected a h/b). I was diagnosed pretty early on again (7wks), but this time, my body didn't want to let go. I went 3 more weeks before I even started spotting, then that's when things went downhill. I ended up hemmoraging and by the grace of God I was visiting my sister in the hospital at the time, so they were able to stabilize me, and give me an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding. So, a few months after that I got pregnant again and it ended up being an ectopic. I am convinced the dr was too rough during the D&C and caused scar tissue in my tube. Anyway, I am pregnant yet again and I'm not sure if it will work out. I have done a lot of thinking, and if it is another b/o, I will opt for the D&C, but this time choose my doctor I know and trust. He is very gentle, and I know there are still risks, but I would much rather have a planned D&C, then go through the agonizing wait, and then still be faced with the possibility of an emergency procedure anyway. I know this is a hard decision, but no one can decide what's best except you and your hubby. If you decide D&C don't feel like it's only for convenience. Your mental well-being is very important, so if you feel like you can't let it drag out any longer, then it might be a good option for you. I will be praying for peace during this time, and I hope you are able to resolve Things soon, no matter what you decide. (Hugs!!) ~Hannah~
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Post by meeko08(Lisa) on Sept 27, 2011 19:48:42 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss. I was like you with two of my losses the baby was gone but my body was doing what it should. I carried both to 13 wks before I took other measures. I had a D&C the first time and took meds the second. As for a D&C being for convenience it is a personal choice how to handle a m/c. For people like me the waiting was horrible and my body was not getting the point it just kept holding on. In fact the first time I wanted to m/c naturally but my body took so long I started developing an infection so opted for the D&C , the second time I was 13 wks and knew that my body wasn't going to do it on it's own so took the meds. I also had early losses naturally. I wouldn't say one way is better than the other it is your choice how long to wait it out. Take care. Keep us posted. (((HUGS)))
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Post by lavenderlady on Sept 28, 2011 14:48:11 GMT -5
Thank you so much for sharing meeko08 and carlsangel. Your input on the pros and cons of both waiting and the D&C has given more for me to think about and weigh out - I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.
I'm going for another blood test tomorrow for my HCG levels. I keep telling myself the closer I get to zero the closer I am to the MC. I can't believe it's been a full month since I found out about the BO and I've been living like this. By the way, I will MC when my HCG gets to 5 and under, right??? I'm wondering since I have all the POC though if the levels will stop dropping at some point (and that would be a point where I'd have the D&C).
In the last week I thought I'd try and take the natural route and try some gentle herbal teas that were suggested to avoid during pregnancy due to early labor. Nothing happened. Then I tried some acupressure areas that are known to avoid during pregnancy due to miscarrying - once again, nothing. I have a horrible problem with constipation that existed for years even before I got pregnant. I would drink a natural herbal laxative tea several times a week to help move things along. Once I got pregnant I stopped immediately due to the concerns of laxatives and early contractions. Of course, once I found out the pregnancy wasn't viable I've been drinking the tea again just a few times (the constipation is so much worse when you're pregnant- my goodness!) and not a thing. Every time my stomach cramps to move my bowels after the tea I get so excited it might be a MC cramp, but of course it's not. I have been praying that the MC happens. I have been silently willing it - focusing my thoughts and intentions in that direction. Nothing. So that's another reason to weigh out the D&C. The problem is, there's nothing decisive pointing me in that direction. No chance of infection, the sac is still small enough to pass on my own, and the doctor and nurse both agree that the MC should be similar to a heavy period from what they've seen on the ultrasounds - so in my mind, other than my impatience, no need for the D&C (I should have said before I'm really into staying with things naturally as much as I can, but I also appreciate the great technology of modern medicine). But on the other hand, waiting it out is delaying our TTC - I'm 35, hubby is 38 and the clock is ticking (this will be our first child). The emotional pain of seeing children and pregnant women is almost unbearable. But my faith is strong, and I know things happen for a reason and I continue remind myself of this.
What a mind game this all is.
Thank you so much for listening. I will keep you posted.
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Post by Heather (hlam) on Sept 28, 2011 16:37:46 GMT -5
My doctor gave me medication to induce the miscarriage once I was diagnosed with a BO. I was 13.5 weeks and hadn't had a single sign that I was going to miscarry. I'm not sure I would recommend that at so far along because I had a huge amount of blood loss even taking pills to try and control it and experienced labor like pains for hours.
I don't know if it's as bad at that point if your body does it naturally...and I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I just wanted to share my story. I hope that you have some type of resolution soon.
Take care!
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Post by empower on Oct 4, 2011 21:26:13 GMT -5
Hi lavendarlady
I am so sorry that you're going through that inner turmoil about waiting it out to m/c or heading for the D&C
I've been down both paths - my first pregnancy ended in a natural m/c, and my 2nd pregnancy was a BO, and ended in a D&C - both times I found out at week 7 that my pregnancy wasn't viable.
I chose the D&C the 2nd time as my body wasn't expelling it on it's own, and being my 2nd loss, I took it much harder than my first. I viewed the D&C as my way of getting some closure. A fresh start if you like. It wasn't painful, just a day procedure by my OBGYN.
The natural mc I found quite difficult - it happened in the middle of the night and I felt unprepared. The pain was more intensive than I expected, however it was over as quick as it started - only probably 2 hrs of pain, and then just heavy bleeding for about 8 days.
It's such a personal decision as everyone's journey is different but I do know one thing for sure - you have come to a place of love, support and guidance - I know it's sad time, but we will be here along the journey - from now until you reach TTC phase and beyond.
Hugs, please keep us updated Em
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Post by jmh631s on Oct 6, 2011 14:54:37 GMT -5
I am sooo sorry that you're going through this. My BO was diagnosed at around 7 weeks as I was having light pink spotting that looked like torn pieces of tissue paper were enclosed. Went to the doctor and sure enough...a BO. I opted to do it naturally and I miscarried in 2 weeks. The doctor offered medication to induce the miscarriage but warned that it's pretty tough. I opted not to do the d&c because i have endometriosis and was scared of additional scarring and i know someone who had two d&c's and now has an incompetant cervix. You've done the right thing by discussing all the options with your OB and that will help you make an educated decision. The doctor only gave me something like 4 weeks to miscarriage naturally because after that they weren't comfortable with increased infection chances. The girls are right, it's a personal decision that only you can make. I found this site when I miscarried and it's the only thing that pulled me through was having other women who understand the heartache.
Let us know how you're doing!
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Post by empower on Oct 10, 2011 20:17:17 GMT -5
Just checking LL - to see how you're doing I hope your body is healing, as with your heart Drop by and let us know how you are HUGS
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